Am I in cyberspace too much?

[Celadon]

Is this normal? Sometimes I feel lonely and so in the evenings I just hang out online instead of doing things that might be more productive. Like, reading, doing the laundry, listening to music, grocery shopping, etc.

 

I live on my own with some roommates. I work during the day. Lately after work, I've been visiting one website a lot to chat with people. There's one guy I was enjoying talking to, but he said he's not going to hang out there much anymore.

 

I don't know if this is just a phase or what. Lately, it feels like my energy and focus have just disappeared. I've turned into the Internet equivalent of a couch potato. I don't want to bother with the "real" world.

 

I do have friends, but no one's there to talk with every day, so I feel lonely. Maybe being in chat rooms numbs that loneliness. Or maybe I'm being dependent on others to make me happy. Sigh. I don't know what to do.

[whitefang]

I often feel exactly the same way with my life at the momment and it's been pretty much this way for a while, so your not alone but im also looking for some solution to this problem if you want to call it one lol.

 

I also have friends through University but none of them are available because of either other commitments like work or partners which again kinda makes it akward in me calling. I also thought that me being online chatting too people was some form of substitute for things that i dont have and would like.

 

If im honest im not completely satisfied with my current life and not quite sure what to do.

 

So your not alone

[detox5]

You know I feel the same way sometimes, my friends live far away, I dont drive, when I try and talk to friends they are busy or something else.

 

So sometimes I feel lost, that no one is there.

 

But then I take a step back, and think I dont need no one, I dont need anything, I dont require anybody.

 

I love doing my own thing, im my own person, I love music, I love making it, I love reading stuff, I love watching tv.

 

Focus on all your indulgences, I found that this helped me get out of lonelyness and put me straight back on track.

 

At times I tell myself that no on likes me or cares for me, not for attention or not to feel sorry for myself, but just make myself so strong that I only rely on myself for comfort.

 

I firmly believe that there is you and no one else, your the only person in there by youself, so with that in mind you should be so comfortable with yourself, love yourself and your own company, and thereforeeee lonelyness will disapear.

 

Because at that end of the day, you dont wanna feel like you do, I hated it also, which is why you went down these roads and I feel really strong.

 

Hope this helps

[Celadon]

Thanks, whitefang and detox5. I'm glad to know I'm not alone! detox5, you're right - there are things I love to do and I should do them, regardless. It's funny because I used to be so good at hanging out by myself. I would write in my journal and play music and just daydream. I don't know what happened to that part of me, but maybe we change as we grow older, huh?

 

I really do think it's easier to feel a part of a community on the Internet than it is in "real" life. Isn't that weird? It's hard to get together with friends because, like you guys said, they're doing their own thing. We're all people, of course -- whether we connect online or in person. But each one of us, IMHO, needs people where we are, as well as in chat rooms.

 

Well, it's just an interesting thing to think about. Tonight I will be hanging out with some friends, so that's good. A group activity is not the same as having someone available every day, but it's nice at least.

[detox5]

You know, I remember that when I just went through that phase, where I didnt feel wanted, and I relied on friends and stuff, but they werent around.

 

So i said screw it, like I said I forced myself into a hole where I didnt require anything from anybody except myself.

 

For weeks I concentrated on myself, in my own mind, wouldnt get insecure about what others thought and stuff because I was soo sure of myself.

 

Now this is the gods honest truth this happened to me, the next time i went out, I just get high on my own power and confidence because I know im soo powerful and at one withmyself, this gave out soo much energy.

 

You know what I had alot more respect from people, alot of girls took a real interest in me, they really took notice.

 

But i didnt care about that, I was concentrating on myself more than anything.

 

So its something to keep in mind, if you can master yourself, amazing things WILL happen, because it did happen for me!

 

Let me know how you get on, id love to help you.