Why cant i stop thinking about her?

[Casket]

Why??

 

I was her puppydog. I was too sensative. I loved holding her and cuddling her and writing her poems - taking her out to a romantic restraunt. I am not like my mates, i do not go out looking for one night stands and hook ups. Instead i seek that one girl.

 

She treated me bad. She told me multiple times she hated me and blamed everything on me. It was my fault. She told me i was a pushover.

 

Yet despite all this, i remember the good times. Why am i so sensative? Why am i commited to only one girl? Why do i choose to love someone unconditionally and always be by their side?

 

Nice guys finish last.

 

So why can i not stop thinking about her? Why is life so unfair?

 

She met many guys online when we were going out, most of them from the UK. Shes going there in september to study abroad. Shes forgotten about me thinking that the whole relationship was my fault and shes ready to move on. She was very pretty, she gave these guys her photo. I know they cant wait to sleep with her, she probably cant wait either.

 

I will never love again. I wont set myself up to be knocked back down again. There is no one out there for me, im just the sweet hopeless romantic.

 

It hurts so bad

[merickso]

I feel your pain friend. But, I have learned in the last week of being on this forum that lots of people feel your pain and the only real way to get over it and move on is to give yourself time, let yourself grieve, and try to not contact your ex. I am having a hard time doing this, and I broke NC today...

 

anyway, keep posting I'll be more than happy to talk with you about it. I have read on here lots that "if you are going through hell... keep going". Its helped me through the sleepless nights.

[newts]

Nice guys finish last.

 

Actually they don't. Nice guys finish first, nice guys when with the right partner will be the ones that marry and will stay married cause their (right)significant other will appreciate how wonderful you are and the little things you do will be cherished everyday.

 

I am sorry my friend, you just hooked up with the wrong girl. Of course her actions will hurt you. When years go past, this girl will be looking for marriage etc... and she will always look back and think, wow, he was such a great guy, sometimes people are just in the wrong place in their minds and when they finally work out what they truly want from a relationship they look back to all the relationships of the past and sometimes regret their decisions.

 

I can only suggest you try to move on and find that girl who really appreciates the little things that make you a "nice guy" and really special to them.

[yme]

Casket

 

I can fully empathise with you. When my ex walked out on me I blamed myself. I allowed her to go out without me because I am disabled and thought I would hinder her enjoyment. When she started 'seeing' this other person I blamed myself for being argumentative and pushing her away from me. But, enough about me...

 

Please, stop and think. Why did you allow her to 'walk all over' you? Are you really a pushover, or was it out of love for her? I would guess it was the second, yes?

 

Now, ask yourself this; do you deserve to have this generous gesture thrown back in your face? Of course not!

 

You have done nothing wrong apart from give too much love. Her response is not what you expected or deserve, but she has done it anyway. To be brutal about it, she does not deserve a nice guy like you!!!

 

I have no idea which way you want to go next, but I can guarantee you that there is a girl for you who will appreciate what you are prepared to do to please her. Although it is probably the furthest thing from your mind at the moment, you need to go out and find her. Believe me, it will make you feel 10 feet tall when you know that your romantic gestures are, not only appreciated, but welcomed.

 

I am no expert in the ways that women think, but those that I have known would much prefer the romantic gestures; like opening the door, holding their chair, helping them with their coat, holding hands and cuddling. Better that than the headlong rush to the bedroom, two minutes of pleasure for you alone, then falling asleep.

 

You, sir, are a gentle man; thus a gentleman. You will find somebody who wants the attention you are willing to give, and you will both derive much pleasure from that.

 

Do not give up; well, do not give up looking for the right girl for you. You will find her in time. And you will look back upon this experience as a learning curve.

 

Be brave, and good luck. Your time will come.

[Casket]

Thank you very much for your kind replies, especially you yme.

 

I am not a pushover outside of a relationship, far from it infact. But out of love... you are quite right. I promised myself i would never let it happen again.

 

I will keep on looking for that girl, but i guess if i do not find her i will be ready to be alone. Also merickso, thank you for that quote. I have seen it more and more since you said it, but you were the first to bring it to my attention. I will remember it and it will help me im sure.

 

I just woke up from a little nap and i was dreaming about her the whole time

 

Thank you again

[gratefulpain]

You did all the right things .......

except to the wrong person...

 

sensitivity is not a curse its a gift...It allows you to love on a deeper level.. something she cannot comprehend...Imagine if you knew ahead of time she would end it.. would you have loved her in the same way? I think not..you have experienced one of lifes greatest joys.. to be in love... some never do...

the man upstairs brought you two together for a reason find out what it was that you learned from this.....think of her with a smile and a heavy heart...soon it will be just with a smile.....