She Broke NC

[Ghostrider4042005]

today was the first time my ex has said anything to me since the night kobe had 81 however long ago that was, but today i was walking through the hall n she was sitting on the bench n she says good luck tonight to me n i said thanks i don't think anything of it the rest of the day we passed each other maybe twice. she wasn't going to say anything to me and i wasn't expecting her to either, but tonight at the game, she was talking to me out at the concession stand, even her bestfriend paid me attention who never talks to me but she did tonight. anyways she brings back the "clean linen" line which was an inside joke we had n she drew my attention first she stood up and said CASPER CLEAN LINEN a little bit after that she comes over to see what i was listening to and grabs my wrist and sits down again, that was the last time we spoke that night. We aren't friends at all n she made contact with me each time today, so what does all this mean?

 

confused casper

[stolenshadow]

Hello, maybe she was testing you, seeing if you would answer to her or talk to her, etc.

Since you say you're not friends at all and if you're happy with that I think you shouldn't pay attention to it, if she keeps doing it just ignore her and keep doing your own thing.

[Ghostrider4042005]

that's what i've been doing tonight we had our musical carnival n i was comin up on stage before the show n walked by her n she hits me n the arm n i smiled n kept walkin but i noticed she doesn't do any of this when her friends are around

[stolenshadow]

That's good, and she might talk to you only when her friends are not around because she's afraid they don't approve, for whatever reason.

So I think that no matter what game she's trying to play don't participate, if she regrets the break-up she will have to be straightforward about it.

Meanwhile, carry on with your life.

[Ghostrider4042005]

actually her friends get along with me really well (sometimes TOO well) but i'm not going to bother with her if she's not gonna be straightforward like you said n i have been ignoring her n it seems to work well for me when i don't always have to do what i don't want to

[Ghostrider4042005]

man since your the only one bothering to help me i'll send you a pm on this

[Ghostrider4042005]

ok bear with me on this these are just pms i've sent and i just copied and pasted all of them and i was wondering what your thoughts were on this?

 

 

she's been just making small talk n maybe once a day she'll talk to me, but today i was sitting on the bench in our hallway between classes n there's a wall n past that there's another bench where she ALWAYS sits but today she sat at the end of our bench n i was sittin in the middle n she brings up the music carnival where one of our friends (both mine and hers) made a sign that said HAPPY BDAY CASPER'S UNCLE (cuz she plays in the jazz band so they make signs) and so my ex asked me if it was really my uncle's bday that day n i said yeah he turned 44 n she said wow that's how old my parents are n i smiled n my awesome friends come in and push her right into the side of the wall so i got up and went to class but later that day i couldn't help but look at her comin through the hall n she looked at me as we passed but that was the only time we made contact today she is extremely nice but she broke up with me because i was too immature n when i was around her i acted more mature n she didn't like that. when we broke up she still wanted to be friends and i said that was going to happen and we went NC for about 12-13 days before she said anything i haven't said anything more than i've had too but yesterday as i was leaving school she was heading toward her locker and i was leaving and she says hi to me and grabs my arm as we passed so i don't know what her deal is

 

well today as i'm sitting in 6th hour bored outta my mind i'll tell you what has happened today, during 3rd hour when i was coming down to PE she pushes me lightly n i kinda leaned back into it n then coming here (i had a nap last hour so i was still waking up) i was rubbing my eye n she smiled at me n today she has made contact everytime we've passed oh yeah for 4th hour i was sittin on the bench again and my friend says to her as she walks by casper says hey n she turned around and said hi to me n i waved n said hi THEN she smiled at me so idk but i gotta go back to typing my report ROCK ON JOURNALISM! haha

it's been like this ever since the break up my head says stay away but my heart says go for it but everytime she talks to me i don't see the light in her eye like i used to (but maybe that's just me, but i've been tellin my brother well he's pretty much my brother really close friends about her n i know they talk about me n i'm glad they do cuz i know he tells her what i tell him n that's been my plan ever since then she's been talkin to me more) she's sorta played games with me when she went behind my back last year but she hasn't been playing any lately but thanks for the help

 

well today she comes down the stairs n looks right into my eyes n made em big again btw we got these match making things back again n she was second on m zodiac matching n i was 2nd on hers but she wasn't on the other ones but it was just for a fundraiser n my brother (close friend again) said she wants me again cuz he said what he whispered to her "are you n casper gonna go back out?" n he said she shrugged her shoulders n said i don't know

help please?

[stolenshadow]

Hello, the main question is, Do you want to go back with her?.

 

Getting your "brother" or friends involved won't make things easier, passing information around can interfere with the original message so try to avoid it as much as possible, tell your friends and brother that you will deal with it personally.

 

If you want to go back with her remember you will have to make changes so you don't make the same mistakes than last time, if you are not willing to then it's better to stop talking to her, looking at her, saying "hi" back, etc. tell the girl you it's better if you don't talk anymore.

[Ghostrider4042005]

well it's not so much that i tell them to get involved they kinda just do but they've always done stuff like that but i do want to get back together but i'm not gonna make any moves till i know she feels the same way so what do i at this point?

[stolenshadow]

I'm sure it just happens your friends get involved, I'm just saying you should try to avoid it, in the long term it won't give you any benefits.

 

Even if she's the one who broke up with you she did it because of something you accepted you weren't okay with, so, if you want to go back with her you should talk, let her know you see what went wrong and are willing to change it, also, if she did something you didn't like you can tell her too, not angry or accusing, you're also not going to beg, just inform and ask if she would like to give things another chance.

 

If she doesn't feel the same way at least you will know instead of just wonder how she feels.

[Ghostrider4042005]

well i would do that but i'm not going to make the first move because as far as she knows (i hope) i still don't like her or want a part of her n i hope it stays that way until i know she wants to try it again

[Ghostrider4042005]

update i was in 3rd hour n my friend is in the room right next to mine n he opens the connecting door to tell me somethin n i go over there n start talking to him and about 30 seconds later she comes in and stands next to him and starts waving at me n smiling and going to journalism she smiled at me again coming down the steps i'm really bothered right now cuz i don't know what she wants but i've been making her make the first contact

[stolenshadow]

That's the thing, you can spend many days like that, weeks, even months. You are waiting for her and she might be waiting for you, what's the right thing to do?.

 

You must take the bull by the horns, talk straight and directly, if you don't get to an agreement at least you won't be in limbo.

 

I don't think you will lose anything for asking to give the relationship another try, if you do feel that way, like you would be "surrendering" then this girl will have to stay in your past.

[Ghostrider4042005]

but i think if i try to try it again i don't want to seem weak and make it look like i'm crawling back to her but right before this hour i went to the drinking fountaint n i knew she was lookin at me the whole time it's hard to miss those big blue eyes so i finally did look at her and said what n she said nothing like she used to when i'd startle her like that n one of my friends walks down that way and he said yeah i seen you two checkin each other out n she smiled that smile of hers

[stolenshadow]

Okay, this is my point of view. If the relationship ended because she didn't like you, because she liked another guy more, because she wanted to change you or similar things then yes, you would look weak to ask for another chance, but, the reason she gave for the relationship ending was your "attitude", and you said you regret having that attitude with her, accepting you make a mistake is never weak, accepting your flaws and doing things to change them makes you a strong person because in 10 years there will be many lessons learnt from that, in 10 years you not only will stand up for yourself and you won't be allowing females to play you around but also you will do what's right.

 

It's cute you asked the girl "what" when she looked at you today, but anyway, as I said, if you feel asking her back is being weak then don't do it, follow your instinct.

[Ghostrider4042005]

well tonight the girls had districts for basketball and i was standin with some of my friends n she was standin there n she hits me n the arm n i nudged her back cuz i'm not a mean guy like that n she noticed my eye cuz i was doin my training and another kid from my school got me in the eye with his finger when i was coming off a turnaround n he was right there and got me good n it broke a blood vessel on the outside part of my eye and the inside :S n it's kinda black n blue right above the eye lid and this happened monday and she says what happened! n i told her about it and then we started talking about something else but i forgot what it was and just tonight she took me off her block list on msn

[stolenshadow]

I hope your eye gets better soon.

I wasn't expecting such a drastic change, I had no idea obviously she had you blocked, but that she unblocked you is quite a step.

Seeing the situation I still think you should talk to her, maybe more little by little, make sure you do want to go back with her, none of you need another breakup with the same person.

[Ghostrider4042005]

my eye is fine, but i'm still not for sure if she's just going for a straight friendship or build up after that, but isn't that what love is? friendship before anything even if it is with your ex?

[askNsee]

What NC means ? I asked on an another forum but I don't remember which one... can someone answer me ?

[Ghostrider4042005]

NC=no contact, stolen shadow; so you think she might want to give it another try but i need to make more first contact?

[stolenshadow]

Long answer: Only she knows what she wants, it looks like she still likes you, nothing is certain but whatever the case you're the one that has to approach her.

She shouldn't go to you and say "So, I still like you, can you change so we could date again?". She already expressed what she didn't like, now it's your turn, and she might still be interested.

 

Short answer: Yes, you should go and make contact first.

[Ghostrider4042005]

well the next time i'll see her is tonight and i'll see how things go from there

[Ghostrider4042005]

update: last night we were at a basketbal game and i was leaning back where she was sitting (she wasn't there at the moment) she comes back and rubs my head n i looked back at her and said hi n she asked how was i n i asked how the wrestling tournament went today (she's a cheerleader) n i told her what i did all day (it was a very short conversation but it was one) then she went over and started talking to her parents and that was the end of that

[Ghostrider4042005]

since stolen is the only one that cares: update: this morning right after i got off of work she signed on msn and she talked about the email i sent her about 4-6 weeks ago n how it said i was sorry for how i was n she said she wanted me as a friend and to be able to go back to the way things used to be....

[stolenshadow]

Ghostrider, I'm sure several of us here care about what goes on even if we don't always post a reply so it's good you did an update.

 

Well, it seems you have an answer now, at least you know what she wants, but if you don't want a friendship with her it's perfectly okay.

Just do what makes you feel better, if you are happy with her friendship fine, if it's too soon tell her and if you don't want to be her friend it's your decision too.

 

It's a shame she didn't want to go back but, something good should be in your future anyway.