The sex was unbelievable BUT now i'm doomed! HELP!!

[esboogie143]

I have been seeing this guy for almost a month. We had an instant chemistry from the first phone call. I finally met him three weeks ago…I was soooo attracted to him and knew that I wanted to sleep with him. He's a narcotic p.o. and works insane hours. So he comes to visit me at 2am when his job is done. Point being that we had sex!!! It was great BUT I made a BIG mistake the first time he put a condom on but it bothered me and I told him to take it off and he did! While having sex the thought of having unprotected sex interfered with me feeling sexually stimulated. So he "came" and then he knew it was the wrong thing to do. We spoke for a little and I started kissing him and then forget about it clothes came off and all and there it happened again!!! He was aking me where do u want me to cum and out of excitement and my harmones going crazy I said inside me and thinking that he would know it was just sex talk that was turning me on HE DID cum inside me!!!!!!!!!!!! Now hes 28yrs old and knows this was a bad thing. Prior to us having sex we were drinking wine and all! Forget it now im sooooooo scared!!!!! What should I do????? Since he's a cop he gets tested every six months for everything AIDS, STD's and every otherthing and its mandatory so that eases me a little but still I cant believe I let this happen!!!! I never did something like this before and I hate myself for it!!! Don't know how to handle it and don't know what to do! L He told me not to worry but con on what woman wont?????????? Help me please!

[RayKay]

Are you on the pill or anything?

 

I would first off go get the morning after pill if you are not on anything.

 

Condom or not, there is a risk of STD's, so I advise you get tested anyway every few months if you are changing sexual partners.

 

I don't know what the regulations are there...here police don't get tested every 6 months of what have you so it's different....but even so you can never be sure he has not had something in between those tests, and some things like HPV cannot be tested on men and they don't necessarily have symptoms.

[Relationship Coach]

EB,

I have never heard of cops being tested for STD's, HIV yes if they feel they were exposed but NOT STD's. I know many police officers, many Narc Agents at local, state and fed level. This is not common practice. Now they are required to get a Hepatitis series and Tetanus. Do not take any chances, it's your life we are talking about, go get tested. Fortunately but unfortunately Narc Agents are the best liars on the force, it's their job to lie in order to infiltrate the bad guys.

 

Birth control is also an issue, are you on anything?

 

RC

[RayKay]

EB,

I have never heard of cops being tested for STD's, HIV yes if they feel they were exposed but NOT STD's. I know many police officers, many Narc Agents at local, state and fed level. This is not common practice. Now they are required to get a Hepatitis series and Tetanus. Do not take any chances, it's your life we are talking about, go get tested. Fortunately but unfortunately Narc Agents are the best liars on the force, it's their job to lie in order to infiltrate the bad guys.

 

Birth control is also an issue, are you on anything?

 

RC

 

Yes, that is what I wondered too. The only people I know of whom get tested often are in the sex industry, or perhaps those with high exposure to infection (front line medical workers etc).

 

I just was not sure since I am not in that area and in a different country so not sure of regulations, but I do know many local police officers (one whom worked in narcotics) & RCMP (family and friends) whom don't go through that. So thanks for the clarification.

 

I know they may get tested for HIV frequently, but not EVERYTHING that one can get!

[esboogie143]

Thanks guys but should I just cut everything off..I mean we are dating and all BUT this is not for me! I cant even focus at this moment! I guess u just cant trust anyone!! Should I continue or not? And no im not on any bc .........

[RayKay]

Thanks guys but should I just cut everything off..I mean we are dating and all BUT this is not for me! I cant even focus at this moment! I guess u just cant trust anyone!! Should I continue or not? And no im not on any bc .........

 

Well if you are not even on birth control you have a lot of issues to deal with right now. You are playing with fire.

 

I find it peculiar though you almost blame him - the fact is YOU are an adult, and you made the choices as well. You participated in it and chose to have sex without protection. You were both terribly careless, but you cannot place it all on him. Sorry honey, but not only did you have unprotected sex you asked him to cum in you as well (not that withdrawing is safe sex either...but still).

 

Yes you are dating, but you are not married to the guy, there is no reason you HAVE to stay with him if he is not for you.

 

But you can't just run from this issue now, go get tested, get the MAP and then let him know you are using condoms from now on in and stick with it, until you are at least sure you are committed/exclusive and both clean...AND are on birth control.

[canyoukeepasecret]

I would go to the doctors office or some womens clinic pronto. Get yourself some protection for the future. They have lots of services available for things like this. That way, in the future if you do find yourself in the same situation, then you are more prepared.

[ocrob]

I don't blame you for worrying, but there is nothing you can do about the past actions. Just hope for the best and don't do it again. I could not tell from your post weather you like this guy. If you do like him, then just practice safe sex in the future. We all do stupid things and just have to move on and be wiser.

[dax321]

Honey, DONT REPEAT THE PAST!! I think it is GREAT you worry! U should! This guy is #*##*! 28yo PO! VERY SAD he is so irresponsible. I doubt he will retire from his position! Testing every 6 months is good, but not a garantee.. You need to walk away and get HIV tested in 3 months.. Again in your mind ask yourself if what he did was sensible. Imagine having a long term relationship. Do u think u are the first? Good luck

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I agree with potato head. It's the old expression: "It takes two to tango."

 

Blaming only one person is wrong. She said yes and he did it. That's two consentual adults making a decision. If she didn't say anything or said no, then it is only his fault. So it's not just the man, but for him to say "don't worry about it" is kind of foolish because since he knows he can't get pregnant, he's not worrying.

 

Boogie, I am sorry that you are under such emotional stress. The decision of dating him or not isn't even #10 on the Things You Need To Do Now list. Get yourself tested for any and all STDs and pregnancy asap. I hope that you come out 100% ok in all of this. After those tests are done and your mind is clear, then you can tackle the dilemma of continuing to see him or not. Good luck.