Embarrassed

[curious81]

Okay... i need advice from someone from the outside...Its about a couple of things.. here is goes...So i have been in a long-distance relationship with someone for a year and a half... we live about 300 miles apart.. we see each other like 1 or 2 weekends a month...

We are having this talk yesterday, and he goes on to tell me that my breath and vagina smell funky sometimes! ... i was shocked, embarrassed, and hurt... apparently he has felt this way pretty much the whole time... and im not sure how to feel about it.. am i suppose to be mad?.. am i suppose to get over it?

i told him today that i was hurt and he said he didnt mean to hurt me.. but talk about being self-conscious when i see him next time... im suppose to see him next week.. and i am going to feel completely wrapped up in checking myself all the time... someone please give me some advice on what i should do?

[DN]

There used to be an advertisement for breath freshener (or deodorant, I forget which). Anyway - it said something about 'even your best friend won't tell you.'

 

So he is more than a best friend - he is someone who has your best interests at heart as well as his own and is comfortable enough with you to be honest - maybe a little too brutally honest but honest nonetheless.

 

Thank him for his honesty and then make an appointment with your doctor to make sure all is well.

[CarnelianButterfly]

It sounds like he was a little insensitive. I frankly would want to know when those sometimes were, cuz if I just ate a heaping boil of Thai noodles yeah everything is going to smell funky. You are literally what you eat. Garlic and heavy spices, as well as your time in your menstrual cycle will effect your odors. If you feel self conscience try changing your diet, cut back on the spice and drink cranberry juice. Cran juice will help eliminate the bacteria that may cause your personal scent. Dehydration can make your secretions more pungent as well.

 

As for bad breath, those little pocket dissolving things do a good job, my fav for post-Italian dinners. If its severe enough you may see a doc, it could be a sign of stomach problems. If you?re on a low-carb, high protein diet, your breath can smell like acetone which results from heavier blood levels due to ketosis.

[curious81]

so should i just get over it? i guess i just feel really humilated right now... my annual check-up is coming up, thank god... i just felt like he said it in a way that was brutal... do you think not talking for a couple of days would do the trick or should i just get over it and move on...

[DN]

Do you think he was being honest or did he do it to hurt and humiliate you.

 

Assume for a moment that it is true and there is a problem - would you prefer that he was honest about it or just broke up with you and told you it was for some other reason?

[the yang to the worlds yin]

don't not talk to him. it must have been pretty hard and embarrassing to tell you that as well. i can't imagine it would be easy. but he did it because he cares for you and is comfortable with you, so take solitude in that.

 

but i have heard that pineapple juice does wonders for your personal scent.

[curious81]

I understand that it was pretty hard for him too... i dont think he did it to hurt me, the way he did it though made it hurt... i thought he would have said something like that with a little more tack... or he could have brought it up sooner if it bothered him enough... in any case, i should take it as advice, give it a couple of days, and move on?

[DN]

I would be very careful about trying to 'punish' him (so to speak) in any way for what he said. Take it that he was trying to help you, see your doctor and let it go. Anything else could jeopardise your relationship with him and it is already under a little pressure right now anyway because of this.

[Frajhav]

ither way..some men and girls pretent for the genitals to smell LIKE FREAKING FLOWERS!!!! C'MON!! i say hes an * * *

[curious81]

i forgot to mention the fact, that he also mentioned the fact that other girls hes been with have smelled like "strawberries" and "apples"... ... hes like so i know it can be done.. i just dont know what is involved with taking care of a vagina. i am a clean person.. i dont eat alot of garlic.. i shower 2 a day... im gonna try the pineapple and cranberry juice, just to see if it works... and im not trying to punish him, i want him to know that he went about it in such a brutal way, without taking into consideration my feelings.. i want him to take a step back and see... i didnt know that a vagina was suppose to smell like fresh flowers all the time... in any case, im giving myself a day to get over it, and talk soon so i dont put anymore strain on the relationship...

[Hope75]

Well, strawberries and apples are very unnatural scents for your vagina to have. Our vaginas clean themselves very naturally and if you are bathing regularly and have seen your doctor to rule out any type of vaginosis or candida infection (bacterial or yeast), then I think you are probably pretty normal.

 

The scent excreted by the vagina, as some term "musky" or "salty", or "coppery" (depending on the time of your cycle) are all natural smells initiated by hormones, glands, and then exacerbated by your genital area being cooped up in clothes all day.

 

Some suggestions to help may be to wear comfortable cotton panties that allow your vagina to breathe, avoiding really tight jeans or panyhose, wearing a panty liner with baking soda or something similar (the "scent" fighting ones) to help keep you fresh, or a light dab of femine powder on your panties after a shower to help keep you dry and fresh.

 

As for douche, DO NOT DOUCHE. Our vaginas clean themselves very well on their own and flush out bacteria and other intruders, and douching only serves to push the bacteria and other microorganisms BACK UP into your genital tract, increasing your risk of infection (which does not smell good and is not good for you!) All you need do is wash daily with warm tap water and a mild soap (Dove, Ivory) the outside of your genitals and make sure to rinse them well, as that tissue is very sensitive and can irritate easily.

 

Some others had some good suggestions as far as making sure you get plenty of fluids during the day (8-10 8oz. glasses of water), because dehydration is a sneaky cause of bad breath and strong urine.

 

Cranberry juice helps make urine more acidic, making it a tough place for bacteria to breed, but the vagina is very acidic on it's own, so it probably won't help change your personal odor down there, though keeping well hydrated may liquify your secretions and make them less odorous.

 

As for your breath, obviously daily brushing and flossing and twice annual dental visits, use a disinfectant mouth rinse like Listerine, and keep those Altoids handy, the breath strips, and make sure you drink plenty of water (again, the dehydration). If needed. carry a little toothbrush and trial size tube of toothpaste in your purse and brush after eating out or between meals, to freshen up)

 

As for the guy, it is my hope that he was just trying to be honest with you. Most guys I know (and correct me if I am wrong here, guys) LOVE the scent and taste of a natural (albiet CLEAN) women, and have no complaints about their flavor or smell. If he continues to complain or give you a hard time about you not smelling like "apples", tell him that it's your VAGINA, and no one's vagina normally smells like strawberries or apples. If he can't get over it, maybe he's not the guy for you.

[fishrrshortae]

ur supposed to smell like fresh flowers ???????? gee i dont think i do..

[crimsonstorm]

a vagina is not supposed to smell like anything but a vagina. its simply that straightforward. if you are clean (as you said you are) and you don't have an imbalence, then he should get over it. its not supposed to smell like apples or strawberries cause its not. ITS A VAGINA. as for breath, ask someone else, like your little brother. someone who will not care if they hurt your feelings or not, but will be honest because it will help you. If its bad, then do what the other people said. i get ticked off when guys complain about the smell... or at least when they aren't thoughtful about how they go about it. they don't exactly smell like a fresh rain all the time either.

[Rawk-1]

There is always a nice way to say mean things. In essense he could have definitely phrased that a lot better or he could have not say it at all. Just a lil bit of history, every person man or female has their own scent. some girls genital parts smell better than other. there's no real science or general facts, it just is. im sure he's not saying you stank, but he's probably not used to scent of woman during intercourse or when aroused. women in particular give off a distinct scent when aroused, during intercourse and especially after to any orgasm. its nothing to be ashamed of or offended by. i asure you, he will get used to it as time goes on and even become aroused by it. a little advice, freshen up before intercourse or close ingagements. always have some spare gum in your pocket and even try wearing slimmer and sexier underware so the genital areas can get a flow of air coming in and out. also, use any kind of body spray or good smelling lotion for those particular areas. thats all for today. Good luck and lets get ready to rumble!

[Shadows Light]

I'd say your boyfriend while trying to be honest...has a problem with interpersonal skills. I think I'd feel the same way you did if it was presented to me in such a fashion.

 

Hope had some excellent advice. I think you need to educate yourself on the female body. After all you own the equipment, you should know all about it. Unfortunately we don't come with owners/operators manuals so do your homework and research.

 

It will go a long way in making you feel good about yourself. Your self esteem and add to your confidence as a person, in and out of bed.

 

Diet in both men and women plays a large part in how you taste, smell. "YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT". Up your intake of fruits and vegie's.. eat a salad or two through out the week instead of a large meal. Your body is more than 80% water. Make sure your intake of water is up there. Water, not coffee or tea. Caffeine dehydrates.

 

As HOPE wrote above... good hygeine is important. DO NOT use harsh soaps or douches. Douches disturb the balance. Yes, they have perfumes that can maybe make you smell like "apples" "Strawberries" however the YEAST infections you may incur between douches is NOT worth it.

 

Loose clothing. Cotton Underware. Sleeping without underware at night to allow air to circulate. Panty hose are notorious for causing a lack of air circulation and adding to the disruption of bacterial balance down south.

I always wash at the end of the day after taking off panty hose.

 

What you can also do is maybe spray a dab of perfume on your inner thigh. If I know that I am going to be sexually active. I'll shower, shave, moisturize. And using perfume on back of knee's. A spritz on inner thigh... back of neck.. inner arms.. you get the point. OR use the scented perfumed lotions. DO NOT APPLY TO GENITAL AREA's. As I said... nutrition and hydration should take care of it.

 

Please do NOT get all up in your head about what he said. You educate yourself. Take good care of your body. And if he still persists that theres a smell, taste issue.. I'd say that he has not acquired the taste for cunningless. Not your fault. You might try going to your local sex shop and purchasing flavored lotions for the purpse of enhancing taste. Or some good old fashioned chocolate syrup on your grocers shelf could do the trick. HOWEVER.. make sure you have a good soak in a tub after... you don't want to get a yeast infection.

[ocrob]

I personally think it is cool he was honest. Maybe next time your are together you can take a hot bubble bath and mouth wash. I would guess you don't smell, but maybe this would be a good start. I realize it is hard to hear, but how cool of him not to just complain behind your back. Bluntness can be a bad thing, but honesty is awesome. I know that if I don't shower before sex, then it would not be a pleasant experience.

[Confused one01]

A tip for smelling better is improving your diet if you have a healthy diet the you tend to smell better. Hope my advice helps

[joncorbin]

nobody even mentioned the "pubic hair". Honestly women without it ALWAYS smell better than women with it......ALWAYS....hack it off...it is not the 70's

[Charles II]

Stop thinking about how you feel about it, and DO something about it. There must be a way to find out for yourself if it's true, or an exaggeration. This reminds me of an exceptionally pretty girl (and bright too - her father was a school teacher) who was riding in the back seat with a guy, and two or three others were up front. They were making out in the back, and the guy slipped a couple of fingers down the front of her pants. When he drew them out, it smelled like a fish market. It was so bad that others in the car smelled it. Even in so-called modern, affluent society, some parents never teach their kids a thing. In school, people get reputations for things like that.