dating someone with a mental illness

[SeaBisquit]

hi, i just found out that the guy I have been seeing has bi-polor disorder. i know little about the illness but was told told usually if they take their medication properly that they do o.k. would any of you date someone with a mental problem?

[RayKay]

This guy has cheated on you numerous times, it even went on for a couple years with a long term girl, he blamed YOU for his cheating, he told you were not making him happy so he found someone whom did, he lied to you, betrayed you, manipulated you.

 

 

If you ask me, there is a lot more here then dating someone with a "mental problem". Bi-polar does not excuse horrible treatment and emotional abuse. I have known many people whom were bi-polar/manic depressive, and they even without medication were not carrying on long term affairs, threatening to cheat and blaming you for it. He calls you a "snoop" when you ask about his affairs, and takes you for absolute granted, even blaming you when he cheats for not "giving him enough sex". Sorry, but that is inexcusable no matter what mental issues he has.

 

Honestly, I think you need to get some counselling, I think staying with him is only going to create "mental problems" and emotional trauma's for yourself.

 

And yes, if he loved and respected me, and was faithful and committed and did not use his illness as a reason to treat me badly...yes I would. Of course, your guy is not meeting those standards. He's a loser honey, stop subjecting yourself to it.

[kellbell]

Oh honey...let this guy go. He has used his bi-polar diagnosis as his sympathy card and ace in the hole so he can treat you like dirt. That is despicable to me. I know plenty of people with mental disorders whom treat others with respect and compassion.

 

I think your man suffers from lack of social skills disorder. You deserve better than this. To answer your question, I would date a man with a mental disorder as long as he loved me and treated me with respect.

[lunatic]

Don't let that feeling of love blind you to the fact this guy treats you like dirt. I don't care what he has or who he sees because he has cheated and lied to you. Screw that you deserve better on all levels. The only way I could let him off with the I am sick routine is if he had alzheimer's. Then I could understand the cheating and lying to cover it up. I would still lose this one like stink on poop. Get rid of this guy because he is NO GOOD and you deserve better from a partner.

[gogol]

Hello,

 

Throughout my life, I've been saturated with the experience of having the mentally ill play a part in my life.

 

Most relevantly, here, is the fact that my mother has bi-polar disease.

 

First of all, it is true; if someone who suffers from bi-polar disease takes their medication regularly, the can and will lead a normal life. My mom has a rather "strong" case of bi-polar disease, but aside from the few and far between mild bouts of depression she gets every once in a while, you would never guess that she has a mental disease.

 

The most important thing to remember with people that suffer from mental diseases is that they are not strange weirdos that should be avoided. First of all, the vast majority of mental illnesses can be treated so well that the illness is nearly errased from the life of the person who suffers from it (granted they take their medication regularly). The main resides in how the mentally ill are portrayed in society. Normally, this kind of disease is associated with assylums, the mentally retarded, and straight-jackets. However, only the very worst and most rare cases of mental illnesses have anything to do with these associations. Unfortunately, the way society portrays the mentally ill often times makes them feel shameful. This can, and often does lead to their haulting of taking their medication... and you can figure out the rest...

 

 

 

Treat this guy just as you would any other guy. Try not to bring it up often, unless he does. Just remember that he's going to be okay, and you should have nothing to be affraid of.

[Shadows Light]

RUN RUN RUN.. as fast as your two feet carry you.

 

Is he now playing the "feel sorry for me" whine whine whine card.

Boo-hoo hoo. Shame on you... or him I would say. Don't let his

cheating, two timing, double dealing, decieving, coniving, lying,

abusing BUTT off the hook so easy. With only an "awwwww I'm sick" card.

 

Because if you let up.. and you get soft. He'll only hurt you again.

 

Been there done that. voice of experience.

[smittenkitten]

Nope, sorry, I don't know your story, but judging by the responses you've gotten from others who apparently do-

 

NO, bipolar disorder is NO excuse for bad behavior, if that's the answer you're looking for. It's not a problem if it's being treated properly. I have it, and I am a kind, decent, ethical human being. A little loopy sometimes, but that's just me- it has nothing to do with BP!

 

My girlfriend is married to a man with bipolar disorder. There have been a couple of "episodes" that occurred when he went off his meds; once he bought a new, VERY expensive car they didn't need, and another time she came home & found all their furniture out on the lawn because he'd decided to "redecorate" the house. (These would be examples of manic episodes!)

 

Not once, in their 13 years together, has either a manic episode or a depressive one caused him to accidentally put his penis in someone else's vagina.

 

He's a decent man, he treats her well, he's honest, and he has integrity.

 

And that's pretty much what you should look for in any man you choose to date.