Talking to the parents.

[mr. lonely]

As some of you might know my story, I was with this girl for almost 3 years..we both fell deeply in love (lots of tears of love these past 3 years) Well the whole story can be found here:

 

As the title of this post says, im thinking of having lunch with her mother in a few days and talk things with her, tell her my wrong doings towards her and my feelings (my love) towards her daughter. Not in anyway is this some sort of plan to win her back because were both 20 years old and can make our own decisions. But i just feel really bad that when i last seen her mother, she asked me to keep in contact with her but i never got to ask her or give her my phone# (when i first met her, she told me "so hows my future son-in-law doing?"). This was after her knowing that I was dating her for 2+ years.. I also believe this new guy probably already met her mother when he was here also.

 

-Would this be a good idea? Any ideas on how to approach this situation or should i just leave it alone?

 

Thanks!

[ravens_folly]

well I see nothing wrong with contacting her and having dinner.

However, maybe not a good idea to talk about her daughter and everything that happened. Unless she brings it up or mentions something, then answer, but I would not go on and on about it.

I am still friends with my ex bf's parents. However, my ex doesn't seem so happy about it - even though its been 2 years!!!!!!!!!!! But there is nothing wrong with keeping in contact. We are people, and we can choose our own friends.

 

just like the saying, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your friends' friends. Same with parents!!

[SuperDuper]

Since you're both 20, I'm guessing she doesn't live with her mother anymore, so maybe you can give her a call, and suggest getting together for lunch sometime, just to catch up.

 

It seems like a good idea if you feel that talking to her mother won't bring back memories, and thus - opening old wounds. Healed wounds.

 

If you do meet up with her, don't pull the pity act, just be yourself and have fun. I'm sure she's wanting to meet up, and catch up.. as much as you are.

[photomo]

I flew out to Spain alone for the sole purpose of a surprise visit to my ex's parents. (She's Spanish, but lives in the UK). I didn't tell anyone. not even my ex....so you can imagine my ex's family's surprise when I turned up on their doorstep!!

 

I don't really know why I went....obviously there was a part of me that thought I could somehow get my ex to love me again if I saw her parents....but I think the main reason was to make it clear that I didn't do anything bad, and to ensure that I wasn't hated. We talked for a long time (in Spanish) about how we had problems but never talked about them....and I apologised to them for being quite arrogant and selfish when I used to lived with them a couple of years ago.

 

Although my ex may not like it, I will always remain in contact with her family (and eventually my ex once I'm completely over her), as I have known them for over 6 years, and they are like a second family to me.

 

I am not going to stop all contact with them just because their daughter fell out of love with me, as that would make me arrogant. I'll just remain in the background, keeping in contact, and showing I care....but not to the extent where I care so much that I get hurt by my ex's actions.

[mr. lonely]

well the main reason to meet her mom was to leave at the end of the day not looking like a jerk because im thinking that im portrayed as one for not keeping in contact with her. Im also pretty sure she would bring up the situation with her daughter because when i called my ex after we broke up, she sounded like she was crying and told me she was on the other line with her mother, but didnt admit to crying when i asked her.

[mr. lonely]

also, i dont have any other way of contacting her but to show up at her job during the day. Would it be a good idea that I leave a message with the receptionist and wait for her to call back and set up a date to meet?