Should I tell my boyfriend I am going to meet up with my ex?

[loz2k29]

Well, it is pretty complicated. Basically I had an on and off relationship with a guy for about 2 and half years. I cut off all contact with my ex for a couple of months after we broke up because It was hurting me too much to still see him. Anyway, I've got a new bf now and would really like to meet up with my ex, purely as a friend now. (although the way I used to feel about him It could stir up some feelings) I was just wondering whether I should tell my current bf.

 

Ok I know I definitely should tell my bf about the meeting because no good could come of me not telling him because he could find out then we've got big problems. But how should I tell him? He doesn't know much about my relationship with my ex so I can't exactly spring it on him. He is the type of person however that might take this the completely wrong way and not like the idea at all. He is quite paranoid that I am going to find someone else better than him. Which I'm not, because he is amazing.

 

Maybe I shouldn't meet my ex? I really want to though because he is a lovely guy and I still want to maintain contact with him.

[nikkers04]

If you want to meet up with your ex and your sure its only as friends tell you guy you want to hang out with a friend....or an old friend from school or something.

[Hope75]

Maybe I shouldn't meet my ex? I really want to though because he is a lovely guy and I still want to maintain contact with him.

 

If you know it could stir up feelings for you and you are with someone new, is that fair to your new guy?

 

Put the shoe on the other foot-- would you like it if your new bf went to see an old ex he still carried a torch for? How would that make you feel?

 

So you can see my answer is- leave the ex in the past, unless you want to leave your present bf and then visit with the ex and see where it goes.

 

As is it's only going to hurt your new guy and could potentially cause you more headache than it's worth.

[loz2k29]

Yes, you are right. But I don't want to loose contact with my ex and it may stir up feelings, but just bring back memories not make me want to act on them. I would never cheat on my current bf and I don't really see why it should be a problem because my ex is only a friend. I will bear in mind what you have said though, thank you. I'll think about it

[Trisomy21]

Why don't you want to lose contact with him? Might stir up feelings? Sounds like you're unsure about your current relationship or your feelings about your ex...Reminiscing with ex's is never a good idea, at least not in my experience, it usually leads to trouble.

Persoanlly I'd avoid the ex like a plague, if you're current boyfriend is "amazing" as you put it, then forget the ex.

[DN]

You sound like a moth being drawn irresistibly to a candle flame.

 

Remember what happens to the moth!!

[loz2k29]

thank you for all your replies. I hate it when your right! I think I'm going to put off meeting the ex for a while if not for good. Like I said it will only bring problems so i shouldnt go