Why can't women tell the truth

[Hopeful99]

I am in my late 30's and I am basically giving up on finding an honest women. Here is the latest example: I met someone who I liked very much. We went out a few times and she told me that she thought I had a lot to offer, that we could talk about anything and always have more to say, I was a great listener, etc. Then she broke a date and called me a couple of days later to apologize for not being "emotionally open" to me. Cited several reasons but asked me to have patience with her. We talked one other time but since then we have only communicated via email. She always tells me in the emails that she wants to talk but then we never do. I guess I have accepted she is not interested but why leave things open ended? Why can't she just tell me she is interested – rather than answering emails, throwing a carrot at the end that she wants to talk sometime………. She knows I have feelings for her so why lead me on?

 

Most of me believes she either met someone else or is not interested……..however part of me hopes she really is confused, going through a bad time and that maybe someday we can talk.

 

Why can't she be honest? I really like her and this is driving me nuts!

[Itsok]

Well if you know she isn't interested, why do you continue to pursue her?

She doesn't want to hurt your feelings and continues to talk to you instead of being rude I assume.

 

Either tell her "Can I phone you tonight?" or be blunt "I'm getting the feeling that you aren't interested in me."

 

If you don't want to be strung along, refuse to let her. Ask to know where you stand instead of sitting back and waiting.

[Hopeful99]

I have asked. I even stated in my last email to her that I would leave her alone if that is what she wanted. She responded that she didn’t want to get into over email but that she would call me ---again said she would enjoy talking---probably never will call. It is easy to say “not interested” over email – not sure why she cannot be honest.

 

Or…is something else going on?-

[annie24]

Let's not make gross generalizations here. Plenty of women do tell the truth

 

Some people just don't want to say something to hurt others. Even though, she probably doesn't realize, that she is hurting you more but not making her feelings more clear. At this point, I think you should just assume that she's not interested and move on.

[lgirl]

please don't generalise - ONE woman has 'lied' to you; not all women lie. and you should know PLENTY of men lie all the time...

[LiquidCherry]

Some people have a hard time being direct, especially when they know what they need to say will hurt someone else. I think in her mind she is probably trying to let you down as gently as possible and probably doesn't have the heart to just simply say no.

[BillyJean714]

Hopeful,

 

I know it's tough, but face the facts. She's not scared. She's not confused. She knows EXACTLY what she wants. How do I put it without sounding blunt?

 

It's similar to when a guy doesn't like a girl, and subtly rejects her when he breaks up with her. He's not going to say, "I'm just not feeling it with you. I don't want to be with you. You're not meant for me." It's hard to say that to ANYONE. It's hard to be brutally honest when it comes to these things. To avoid letting someone down, we all do it gently- both men/women.

 

If I were you, I'd move on. You need to do what's best for you. One thing to keep in mind- there is just NO forcing it. No means No. She's already shown through her action. Show through your actions that you're over it. You'll find a nice woman. It's just a matter of you being yourself (don't try hard not to be yourself- that comes off as phony- anyone will see it. Not to say this is what you do. Some people resort to "Oh, I have to be the bad boy since being nice doesn't pay off). It's a matter of being you and meeting the "right" people. If you're not being you, you won't meet the right person. It's not that women aren't honest, we just hate to be blunt, just like men. You'll find the right person in time.

[MiaMorr]

A lot of men seem to have this problem too, not being able to tell a girl NO because he doesn't want to deal with it so he avoids her like she has a disease. If she doesn't call soon, tell her it was nice while it lasted and let her go. Today it is hard to find the good ones. Seems like the good men and women find the bad ones but very few find each other. Good luck.

[LotusFlower]

Well for one, i have noticed that people get so offensive to generalizations...we all do it ...out of pain... let it go.

 

Let her go... be her friend and give her space. She is either not interested, or she is unsure...she may be scared or something else could be bothering her. To be on the safe side...let her go and just ber her friend.