How Do You Know??

[Lady Bugg]

I just have a simple questionthat I have YET to have seen anyone ask...

 

How do you KNOW if someone is even WORTH a second chance??

[charliek]

You have to trust your gut feeling. If something doesn't feel right then it probably isn't. . .whether or not someone is worth a second chance depends on your situation. But always trust your gut and set your own limits as to what you will and will not accept from this person if you do give them a second chance. . .and stick by those limits! Your gut won't lie to you, people do. . . .

[Msnak]

Charlie gave the most "to the point" advice I've ever heard on this. Good job.

 

I would say, recognize that people are imperfect. Our judgment, behavior and instincts can fail us sometimes. So it is based on each situation and on what potential there might be.

 

Did this person burn their bridges with you? Are there past pains you can overcome? Do they seem sincere about wanting a second chance?

[BillyJean714]

The answers will vary according to our own personal values. If my partner cheats on me, I wouldn't give him a second chance. If someone does me wrong, I usually don't give them a 2nd chance, not unless they're sincerily apologetic. If someone's crafty enough to have the intentions of hurting me, I wouldn't be very naiive to forgive them too easily. I'm well past that stage. Being forgiving is one thing, but getting hurt over and over is another thing. It's a matter of respect. If someone cares for me as much as I care for them, there shouldn't ever be a reason for them to do me wrong, WHATSOEVER.

 

As far as I'm concerned- this is what I personally value- I don't buy into the drunk sex excuse. Hey, I drink. When I drink, I know EXACTLY what I'm doing. That's why I don't drink to the point where I'm passed out! Considering the fact that I'm a lightweight/allergic to alchohol, I don't drink that much anyway, period. However, I can only speak from experience. When I did get really wasted, I didn't just go around kissing random strangers and do stupid things. It's just an excuse. Based on what I value, I expect the same in my partner. Btw, it's a COMPLETE turnoff when I hear a person use drunk make out sessions as an excuse of "I was too wasted to know what was going on." It just looks cheap. Politically speaking, I'm pretty liberal, but when it comes to these things, I'm very conservative. It's a part of who I am and what I value personally.

[Msnak]

BillyJ-

I applaud you and I agree! There's no excuses for a lot of things--we're human beings, not animals. We have self control and a brain to use to consider the consequences of things we do and say.