Does anyone know....

[Mishi]

Does anyone know the best way to overcome the fear of having sex with men? i've been afraid of them since i was thirteen due to tramatic stuff.and now i just want to get past it so i can have a healthy relationship.i also was wondering ..does anyone know any good tips for learning to love ones self? any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

~Mishi~

[Shakey182]

well it depends what part of having sex your scared of really

[Mishi]

i'm afraid of sex period. as far as masturbation goes.no.but oral whatever any kind of sex with men..i'm terrified of it.

[glassbell]

i believe that in overcoming traumatic experiences, TRUST is the keyword.

 

If you find a man who you feel utterly at easy with, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically as far as you dare (perhaps even holding hands or a kiss), it will be easier for you to slowly try and explore sex with this person.

 

If you find this person (or already found him), I'd say, be open to him and tell him about your fear. If he then backs off, he isn't worthy anyway, so forget about that person. If his reaction is gentle and understanding, tell him you are willing to try sex, but slowly, without any hurry, and completely on your conditions. If he agrees with this, I think you'll have a good base to start your exploration from.

 

And don't forget that you can always stop or pause if you don't feel right, as sex should be fun for BOTH of you.

[CHERBEAR22]

OH MY I COULD JUST IMAGINE HOW HARD THAT WOULD BE.... I remember WHEN I LOST MY VIRGINITY I WAS SCARED TO DEATH....BELIEVE YOU ME..... ANYWAYS THE GUY HELPED OUT ALOT BY PLAYING REALLY SLOW MUSIC TO SOOTHE ME WHICH HWLPED BIG TIME BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOEMTHING BETWEEN US. DON'T RUSH IT PLEASE WHATEVER YOU DO BECAUSE ITS TOO SPECIAL TO JUST GIVE AWAY. BECAUSE I WISH I COULD TURN BACK TIME AND CHANGE IT TO STILL BE A VIRGIN.TRUST ME IT WA SNOT WORTH IT TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY.