Should i give him a chance?

[michou]

hi,

 

My ex from 9 months ago wants to get back together, we had dated for 6 months and were very serious. He now wants me back. He is the one that dumped me and lied to me about the reason that he did. He said i was too naggy. He says he regrets dumping me and was an idiot for it. How do i know if he's lying or not?

[PrincessLinzay]

So what was the real reason he broke up with you?

[michou]

that i nagged too much

[lady00]

Why do you think he may be lying?

[octopus]

make him beg, make him work to get you back... if he really wants to, he should go to the end of the world for you.

[lady00]

make him beg, make him work to get you back... if he really wants to, he should go to the end of the world for you.

 

I disagree. That sounds too much like playing games. If you want to be with the guy, tell him so.

[Msnak]

I say, give him a chance--ONLY if you really, really want to. Give it a week or so, just hang out with him, take things slow. Don't promise anything, don't expect anything. See how serious he really is.

 

And sure, he should work for it, but don't punish him. Be the bigger person! Already he seems to recognize your fine points, but missed them the first go-round!

[kitten]

If that's the only reason the two of you broke up, I think that's good news. Really. It's something small that you can both take very simple steps towards dealing with. But, if you get back together with him, you both need to have a discussion, and make it clear -- this is what went wrong last time, and here's how we're going to deal with it.

 

My advice would be to lay down some "ground rules", and make sure you're both comfortable with them before moving forward. I'd make the rules like this.

 

You should agree to try your best to nag less, but he needs to understand that sometimes, you'll do it without even realising it. Give him permission to (gently, kindly, and without annoyance) remind you if he sees that you're hassling him about something, and for your part, don't get upset with him if he does so. You need to be confident that you can both try to nag less, and accept his telling you if you are without getting upset.

 

He needs to understand that you don't do it on purpose, and he can't get so annoyed or upset when you do. He needs to promise that he will be comfortable with either letting it pass, or gently telling you that what you're doing is bothering him. And he needs to deal with the fact that sometimes you're going to slip, and it's not appropriate to gripe about it every single time, OR harbor private annoyance about it which will build. He needs to really be able to comfortably let it pass sometimes.

 

I say give it a shot, but have this discussion with him first, and tell him that he should go home and really think about it before deciding if he can do this or not. It would be a shame to get over-eager, get back together and say you can both handle it, and then break up again because neither one of you really considered the past mistakes and learning from them.

[Donknowhatodo]

I say, give him a chance--ONLY if you really, really want to. Give it a week or so, just hang out with him, take things slow. Don't promise anything, don't expect anything. See how serious he really is.

 

And sure, he should work for it, but don't punish him. Be the bigger person! Already he seems to recognize your fine points, but missed them the first go-round!

 

I agree with this.....just follow whats in your heart