mbc9ie Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 tonight we are going to start spending time apart.. we have been separated in the same house trying to keep our selves straight for our 14 month old son. We have bumped heads and argued so much over the past 3 months.. she has resentment towards me and anger from me being pushy on us trying to fix things.... My question is... does the space away from each other.. let the anger and resentment go away? We dont hate each other.. she just wants to deal with our problems when she can.. i want to seek help now and deal with it... so it leads us to argue.. she wants to go out with her friends.. to get away from me... and i just wanna fix things.. she has never been on her own.. and i dont think she is ready for that. She says she wants us to fix out friend ship that we have damaged and that once we get through that, that then if we can go ahead and fix the marriage that we can try.... she says what ever is meant to be is meant to be.... its hard to just walk away knowing that i love her,,, and that she says she doesnt.. but is so angry and depressed that she cant make a clear decision. so does space and time apart actually help.. i am goin to my parents.. then she is going to hers and so on.. we need equal time with our son.... we are just so hard headed and stubborn.... is it supposed to feel like your doing the wrong thing to try and help the right thing....? Link to comment
karen95 Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 i think time apart will help both of you. it will help you both think clearly. it will probably help her loads and she may even miss having you around. Link to comment
mbc9ie Posted January 10, 2006 Author Share Posted January 10, 2006 I HOPE SO.... i dont know what to think sometimes.... she is so confusing... Link to comment
karen95 Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 i think space away from her will help you too. i think that you will be able to think more clearly when you do not see her all the time. i would not be an expert in any of this but i really do hope it works out for you. did you ask her would she consider going to counciling to try and fix the relationship. Link to comment
mbc9ie Posted January 10, 2006 Author Share Posted January 10, 2006 still trying to get her to go... right now i dont think she is ready.. she is to angry to just listen.. she is fast to attack... Link to comment
karen95 Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 this space might honestly make her think and take some of that anger away. if she is angry she must have some feelings left. if she did not care - she just would not care what happened and would probably be civil to you. but i do think that the two of you having space away from each other will help both of you. Link to comment
octopus Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 i think it's both time and space that heal... you learn to deal with you feelings, so learn to look at the relationship objectively. Link to comment
mbc9ie Posted January 11, 2006 Author Share Posted January 11, 2006 its weird.. she says she doesnt love me... but today she had an upset stomach... and when i got home to pack, she was cleaning house..... she almost never cleans house.. it was like she was trying to keep herself busy.. who knows....... i am so confused Link to comment
onmyownagain Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Time apart worked for my wife and me. On the day I was told I don't love you I moved out. A week later she told me she was sure she had made the right decision and doesn't want me back. Three months later she said she was sure she wanted me back and the time apart helped her to see she really did love me. So now I am back home. Link to comment
mbc9ie Posted January 11, 2006 Author Share Posted January 11, 2006 well i hope that works out in my situation.... thanks Link to comment
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