Ex says it's all my fault

[Cuppedia]

Hello, in short I ended my LD relationship with my boyfriend out of jealousy for the relationship he had when we weren't together years ago and I thought he wasn't doing (again) all he could or even did for the other girl.

 

Anyway, now he said we should be friends, fine, but some days he replies others not, that's fine too, today he sent a mail in which I had pretty much accepted all my blame and he replied I was right, he admitted to do nothing wrong, insisted he was a nice person and suddenly became defensive to every word I said, twisted them around and dumped it all on me, I know I made the decision but he's the one who can't even move closer to me because he's paying the ex debts.

 

This happened last time too, back then he got angry and asked me to leave him alone, which I did, what's the mistake I keep making at the end?.

I have only tried to do the best, be mature, I don't think it's important to know or state who is to blame now, it's over, why the fights?.

 

Sorry, I go to the point, how do I deal with it?, I don't want to have guilt or regrets about this again, I want things to end in a good way but his comments make me wonder how, how do I answer to him?. All I want is for him to be okay and not mess him up more.

 

Thank you for reading.

[lady00]

I think the way to deal with it is not to deal with it. Ignore him. He says he wants to be friends then guilt-trips you which clearly shows he's not ready to be friends. In order to be friends with an ex both people need to let go of negative thoughts about the past relationship (especially about blame for the breakup). If one ex or both exes are not able to do this (it usually takes time) then there can't be a friendships. Friendships are supposed to be about fun and enjoying conversations/time spent with people. He's not being a friend to you at this point. I think you are both too emotionally invested to be friends. Give it time and realize the friendship may never happen. And that is okay.

[Cuppedia]

Thank you lady for the reply, every word you said makes sense, I wish my ex was all the perfect I imagined but it's a fact he has used guilt in the past with me.

I just didn't want to be "enemies" with him like last time, but I should possibly ignore him, if it can't happen then I should let go of that too.