Outcast-Angel Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 Dripping in the dust by outcast-angel Cut me open, watch me squirm do you understand the blood dripping in the dust, on the ground in this graveyard of hope and promise Strip me bare, inspect the imperfections conclude i'm a freak and shove me under Drown me in the rules of society berate me with laws and expectations Let me go and see how i float tied to a boulder of responsibilities Expect me to surface, disbelieve when i don't proclaim that you don't know Where i went wrong, how i've failed exclaim over it louder so you don't hear My last words echoing up from the waters "i'm sorry" Link to comment
valenski Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 A Declaration to an insufferable, unforgiving, selfserving world? Well what ever purpose it (your poem) serves, I like it. --------------------------------------------------------- Sometimes retracing your steps is the way forward. Link to comment
Outcast-Angel Posted January 10, 2006 Author Share Posted January 10, 2006 thank you.. and you're right, that's exactly what this poem was. Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 I like it.... It reminds me of a day at work.... Review time.... Definitely reminds me of REVIEW TIME... "OK.. just get this project done and you'll get a raise" Now its like... You could've done it better, you could have finished it sooner, You could have done it differently... This is where you screwed up... These are the rules... you have to play within the rules.. .you have to use this process that some shmuck brought into the company that is redundant and only creates paperwork.. but it was his claim to fame... Why didn't you use the process. OK OK... so you did the job.. you did it when you said you were going to do it.. and yes it is making money... but it could have been better, quicker and make more money.....](*,) And be HAPPY YOU STILL HAVE A JOB. "I HEAR AND I OBEY"... yes massa boss... I'll be a good employee this year... I swear. LOL. Thanks... I really liked this poem... it works. I'm going to PRINT IT.. and hang it outside my office cube !!!! Link to comment
Outcast-Angel Posted January 10, 2006 Author Share Posted January 10, 2006 wow, thanks.. your office sounds pretty much evil though.. Link to comment
Steven1607307306 Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 Very nice, I love how everything in this poem reminds me of life... "tied to a boulder of responsibilities Expect me to surface" that one really hit home. the overwhelming responsibilities people will put on you, and expect you to be successfull with each and every one. Great self-expression! Link to comment
Outcast-Angel Posted January 11, 2006 Author Share Posted January 11, 2006 Very nice, I love how everything in this poem reminds me of life... "tied to a boulder of responsibilities Expect me to surface" that one really hit home. the overwhelming responsibilities people will put on you, and expect you to be successfull with each and every one. Great self-expression! it's not even just the responsibilities people expect you to handle.. it's how they expect you to be a certain way, because of who your family is, or the way you dress.. it's just so hard to live up to it all. and if you don't seem to be the ideal child, everyone constantly pushes you to be that perfect miniature of whoever they want you to be. and the drama that ensues if you don't even try to be like everyone else.. they might as well execute me. because it'd be more merciful than their blatent disappointment.. thanks though, i'm very glad that you liked it.. ~O.A. Link to comment
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