Mixed Messages

[Jeffington80]

Hi, this is my first post here.

 

So here's the situation: there's this girl who I met through a friend, and we are now good friends. We share similar interests, have a great time together, and all that. However, I've recently become interested in her as more than simply a friend. Now, I know this is dangerous territory. If I pursue these feelings and it turns out that they're unreciprocated, then I risk losing her friendship- which I definitely do not want. There are certain things the girl says and does that confuse me as to where we stand.

 

I've made a small list of these things:

 

The Good:

1. We managed to get on the topic of my cynicism (I am a bitter and jaded man ). I mentioned that a lot of people are put off by my attitude, but she replied with "I like it. It's part of your charm."

2. I joked about my clothes exploding off my body in a fit of rage, and she said "I'd like to see that" and continued to joke about it.

3. When we're together, she smiles a lot, showing her teeth.

4. Random touching while watching movies/TV

5. She's said, "Wow, you keep surprising me" after learning about my musical preferences.

6. She keeps good eye contact with me

7. I've noticed a slight dilation of her pupils when she looks at me

 

The Bad:

1. She mentioned "I'm into tough guys" - and I am not a "tough guy"

2. She had asked out my good friend a while ago, but he already had a girlfriend.

3. She has a lot of guy friends, which means that she could potentially just think of me as "another friend."

4. She has told me, "I get bored of guys easily."

 

The Unknown:

1. "A while ago, two of my good guy friends wanted to date, but I didn't want to." - I am not sure what this means. Is she telling me that she doesn't want to date right now?

2. I mentioned how my ex-girlfriend caught wind of the girl and I hanging out, causing my ex to become jealous. Girl says "That's weird, because: a) You two aren't dating, and b) we're not dating."

3. She's said, "I have bad judgement about guys."

4. She's said, "You're so laid back- it's refreshing." - Is laid back a good thing, or is it a "friend" thing?

5. "A guy asked me out today, but I lied and told him I was already involved with someone." - This seems like it could either be: a) her emphasizing the fact that she's single, or b) her emphasizing the fact that she doesn't want to date anyone.

6. She often asks "Do you think she's pretty?" in reference to other women.

7. She frequently brushes her hair / reapplies lipstick / fixes her clothing in my presense.

 

As you can see, I've spent some time thinking about it. I would love some advice on what I should do, as well as your interpretations of these messages she's sending me.

 

Thanks.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

Ok great.. Thats what i was exactly in.. I dont want you to make the mistakes i've done..

 

First of all, you are thinking about her too much.. Trying to analyze every word she says.. I used to do this.. DONT DO THAT..Iam saying so because the more you will try to analyze her confusing messages and words the more you will confuse yourself.. and you wont reach any result in the end.. You will stay confused.. I also used to analyze every word the girl i like says.. Iam like that since more than 6 months.. and till now i have no explanation.. So forget about what she do if she is confusing.. Do not put yourself in one of her mindgames..

 

Second thing, ask her.. There is nothing wrong in asking her instead of confusing yourself... Ask her and tell us what she said !! and observe her actions before and after you tell her.. yes there is alot of good signs.. But i learned the hard way that some girls are crazy.. No offense but i believe there are alot of girls doesnt think in a mature way..

 

So you can wait a little bit more and see if she is going to be more clear about her intentions.. If she keeps confusing you.. I suggest asking her and telling her your feelings.. and see what she is going to say..

 

Again dont think about her too much.. Dont show that you are thinking about her all the time.. Tell her yes.. but be normal.. If you need more help dont hesitate to ask..

[Jeffington80]

Yes, I admit that I am thinking about it too much, and perhaps I am being overanalytical, but I simply do not want to risk our friendship over this- which is exactly the reason why I won't "come clean" to her.

 

Aside: I would highly appreciate some female perspectives on my situation.