She lied

[canonman]

My gf and I got back together, about 2 weeks ago, and things had been going well, but the last few days she has been acting distant. I thought she may just be being cautious and going slow, as was I. She said she had plans with her girlfriend for dinner Friday night, (just as well, I had an obligation at the church that night and wouldn't be able to see her). I thought it was great she was going to go out with her friend Amanda especially since her friend was leaving the area soon. Well, turns out, she had a date with a guy from out of town, and he stayed the night with her. She lied, and then cheated on me. But, she told me last night what she did, and I said we don't need to date anymore, and said she doesn't know why we can't still be friends and maybe more. She wants to be friends, and still hang out, and do things, and talk. BTW, she doesn't think sex is a big deal, she really treats it casually as a fun thing to do, and doesn't get her heart involved. A lot of people are telling me that's the way most young women look at it nowadays.

 

I told her I just need time, and then I may be able to be friends, but not anymore than that. Is this crazy?

[RandomAdvisor]

I don't know any of the previous issues that caused you to break up and get back together before. But she lies to you, cheats on you, thinks it's no big deal...and now she wants to be friends? She doesn't deserve an explanation as to why you can't be friends. I don't think she would understand one if you told her anyway. She just thinks differently.

 

As for saying most girls these days have sex casually like that...I don't think that's fair to say at all. There are always women AND men who are comfortable with that. Personally, I'm not one of them. I don't think you are either. I wouldn't want to have a relationship with someone who thought sex was no big deal...

[DN]

She's not a good girlfriend and she is no better as a friend. As to her morals I will make no comment!!

[SuperDuper]

Agreed. Some ex's are ex's for a reason. As it seems it should have stayed in your situation.

 

Your personalities appear to clash completely, and not only did she lie, she cheated, and emotionally insulted you by her disrespecting comments, and her uncaring ways.

 

I wouldn't stand for that. You shouldn't. If you go back with her, she WILL do it again, because it's "no big deal". Leave while you can.

[canonman]

thanks for the advice friends.

 

She told me about the date, only after I said we need to break up. (I ended it because I found out what she did before she confessed it.) I think if I had not broken it off, she would've not said anything about it. She told me the reason she didn't tell me the truth before the date, was she didn't want to hurt me.

 

I think it's because she wanted to wait to see if she liked the guy first, and then decide whether to tell me or not.