It hurts doesnt it?

[Need1ozHope]

Hi all, I could use a bit of support right about now..

Im 23 shes 10months older.

 

 

Just wanted to say after a bit over 5 years of good and bad times, we broke up. My first true love, my first everything... I just cant make her happy anymore. At age 24 ,she thinks its too late for me to start treating her good like I use to. For a while, I would take her for granted and take advantage of her love till the point she got sick of it. Well, it came to bite me in the * * * later on in our relationship. You don't now how much I regret treating her like this. If I only knew her true feelings, I wouldn't have done it... She is very difficult to talk to. Sometimes we would have trouble communicating because she just wouldn't know how to explain things. I always told her to express her feelings effortlessly but she always needed to think the words before they came out… She feels that if we stay together, she would be hurting herself more and more and though it was hard for her, breaking up seemed like the only option. When I hear the words "break up" I get disgusted… Never in an eternity would I have thought she wanted this. She always had the strongest visions of us getting married and having kids and when she expressed those feelings to me, I did not consider. I mocked her... We still love each other to death and we both understand this... Its just not gonna happen. I dont know for sure if its "over" for good or if one day she will give me my final chance to show her I truly love her, but for now we are separated. There is no more "US". I feel like * * * * right now. I haven't cried like this before. I honestly don't know what to do. What do I do when I miss her... or what do I do when I want to hang out with her? Im lost... 5 years of growing with her and now I have to move on. Im depressed... I am a failure in making her happy. The one thing I always wanted to do is keep her on a pedestal and admire her like the princess she is. We had something unique. Our relationship was different than others. We would have our own language and sometimes understood each other the most when words weren't spoken. Its funny how it took a break up for me to realize all the good times we had. Pondering these moments rips my heart into pieces. I cant believe its over now. Those days of staring into her eyes with passion have ended. Unfortunately this was the only way I would ever appreciate her. I know its sad but what can I say. If she only had 1 ounce of hope left in her soul, I know I can make things better.

[dwbh]

Hi Need1,

 

I'm in a similar situation. I initiated No Contact with my boyfriend of 8 years - this is after we already decided to break up and that there was no hope for us. We were still being friends and hanging out together...but deep inside I knew this was going to bite us in the back so I put my foot down and decided it would be best not to see or talk to each other. Your relationship ended for a reason- as mine did....its hard for me...VERY hard especially when i loved him so much and he loved me....but something told both of us it just wasn't going to work out. You can't force things to happen if it wasn't meant to be (so sorry for being cruel)...but that's the truth and that's the same truth that I'm dealing with today- my first day after this NC. I believe things happen for a reason....perhaps your ex will realize that you were the one for her...but give each other space and time to reflect. Sometimes when you make yourself too available for your g/f or b/f they take for granted what they have...hope this helps. Just know there are many people going through exactly what you're going through....just stay strong and know there's light at the end of the tunnel.

[yelloemail]

break up are very hard. they can be extremely hard at times. i have had three really bad ones thus far. each one i thought was just as painful. go ahead and cry and than cry somemore. call some people you haven't talked to in a while - tell them what happened. rent some movies, order a pizza, take a nap, do whatever it takes to feel better. you have the power in you to overcome this situation - i know it!

[Need1ozHope]

(deep breath) Thanks dw and ym

 

Im in a slum right now. I have no energy to do anything. I have a passion for the outdoors and I cant seem to get off my * * * to enjoy it. I cant eat nor sleep. Its tough. I want her back so bad.

[timbohn]

(deep breath) Thanks dw and ym

 

Im in a slum right now. I have no energy to do anything. I have a passion for the outdoors and I cant seem to get off my * * * to enjoy it. I cant eat nor sleep. Its tough. I want her back so bad.

 

 

Just knowing that others are going through similiar situations makes me feel a tiny bit better. Be stong for yourself. Ask your higher power for strength. TAke it hour by hour. Keep thinking about what the next step is for YOU in your life. Then take action.

 

Your brother in pain,

 

Tim

[Need1ozHope]

NC is a must for me. I understand it will be difficult but I am a reasonable person. I know this is life. This is my life and I must end this chapter of pain. I have been emailing her mother about my feelings. She is a great listener and is very straight forward with her thoughts... That's how I like it. I hate sugar coated emotions... Is this a good idea to keep contact with her mother?

 

Basically, her mother and my mother are friends and they will remain friends... They do dinner a couple times a month. They became friends through our relationship. They've had dreams of us getting married and giving them grandchildren. It was that kind of relationship. A TRUE LOVE, one of a kind, soul mates type thing. I want to move on though. I am sick of crying every day thinking about how much I want her back... I don't even know if I want her back anymore. Why should I try to get her back if she doesn't want me back? Whets the point? Im sick of ending my nights thinking about her... and beginning my days with her on my mind. How long does the pain last? Im sick of it!!!

 

 

 

Thanks eNotAlone... I already love you all. I just wish I could give advice but this is my first experience of heartbreak.

[timbohn]

I am still living with my break up so I don't know how long it will take to feel better but I do understand your pain. Good luck to you. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Stay strong.

 

Your brother in pain,

 

Tim