What do I do??

[Megz8]

Hey people!!! I've been with my bf for almost 3 years now, but for the last year and a half he really hasn't treated me like his gf...he says he still loves me and all, but its not the same when we first met. Anyways I just went on vacation with him and his friend and we fought the whole time. The thing is that I'm falling out of love with him and actually falling in love with his friend. I don't know what to do, everyone tells me that his friend likes me a lot but i know he does too. Honestly all my friends say that my bf doesn't treat me right, which is so true. Even tonight my bf said that he could see me leaving him for his friend, but i never did tell him what i did feel.. I really got close to his friend in a way i never thought would happen.. I don't know what to do!!!! I love my bf but he treats me not like his gf, its all about him and stuff.. What should I do? Should i tell his friend that i'm falling in love with him? I've been friends with him since i met my bf but since this trip i'm falling for him and i don't know what to do. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bzborow1]

Hi there. Sorry to hear about your situation, and yes I think communication is the answer. If you want to save your relationship with your current bf then you have to communicate your needs to him, if he doesn't respond to them then you know for sure what your decision is.

 

As for his friend. I'm sure it's not love, it's probably more infatuation than anything, and I would STRONGLY urge you to not pursue that guy. Why? Suppose you do leave him for his friend? You current bf and his friend will likely not speak to each other. There will likely be intense hatred, fighting, etc....in other words, you are putting yourself right into a situation that can blow up in everyone's face...you would be risking their friendship. I can't say this enough, if you respect your current bf, and decide to leave him, stay away from his friend!!!!!!

[kdpodus]

Hey, Megz8.

 

You and your boyfriend are going through some tough times, and obviously your falling for his friend is evidence of that. It seems that the root of the problem is that your needs aren't being met anymore. After 3 years, a lot of things about your relationship will change. I don't know how cordially or unlovingly he's treating you, but it may be a sign that your love for each other is changing. Perhaps he feels like there are some things that he cant do for you that he once could.

 

You have to ask yourself this question: "What do I really need out of this relationship?" But, you have to REALLY ask yourself. Do you want that love that you had when you first fell in love with each other? Because that love is gone. Do you want that guy you first fell in love with? Because that guy is gone. Do you want the same relationship you had when you first started dating? Because that relationship is gone.

 

And you know what? That's OK. But if you want to continue what you have, you have to explain what needs you have that aren't being met. You have to literally say "I need you to do ____, because when you don't, it makes me feel _____." Be very clear, and direct with what you need. Don't leave room for ambiguity. If you don't know what you need, tell him that you don't know...instead of asking him to fulfill needs that you may or may not actually have.

 

The only reason I say this is because your falling for your friend might just be a reaction to you feeling unloved by your current boyfriend.

 

All you want is to be happy...now tell him what you need to be happy.

 

If he still doesn't give it to you, then it may be time to end it. But I agree with the others: going for his friend is not a good idea because 1) it will damage their friendship, and 2) there's no telling that this guy will replace what's missing, or if he will just allow you to fall in love with being in love again.

 

Oi Vay! Dont worry Megz. You'll be fine.