geoblue Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 hi... well... i started masturbating when i was 5... at least that is the first time i remember.. anyhoos... that was 15years ago... and well... the thing is that i think that i've alway been close... and i think that just before i'm about to orgasm... i lose it... i just stop... i stop feeling anything... is it normal?? has anyone had the same problem??? thanks.... geoblue Link to comment
CHERBEAR22 Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 JUST A NOTE I WILL BE 24 ON THE 22ND OF THIS MONTH AND TO THIS DAY STILL JHAVEN'T HAD AN ORGASM. NOW WHATS UP WITH THAT Link to comment
CamaroJoe Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 masterbation at 5? ummm, is that normal? n e way, a lot of women are actually like that, so i've heard. Some women just can't orgasm or at least not very easily. And some are scared to. Don't know about ur case. Link to comment
geoblue Posted July 13, 2003 Author Share Posted July 13, 2003 well... i was raped when I was 4... so I think that perhaps I started a little earlier than 'normal' for some reason to do with that... geobluexx Link to comment
kdreger Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 You were raped at 4, started masturbating at 5 and you wonder if something's wrong? Ok. Let's start with some obvious questions: 1) Does masturbating make you happy or do you feel ashamed? 2) Have you talked to anyone about the rape? 3) How do you feel about yourself - your self-identity? Link to comment
LonelyGirl Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 Hey, I read your post about you being raped at 4. That's horrible. I was raped at 15 and yes it did affect me sexually but I wasn't conscious of my problem at the time. I just avoided going out with anyone who might want to do anything heavy. It's also a point against a lot of women because we often think of our privates as 'dirty' or 'gross' and that discourages us from wanting someone to touch, look or even lick there! HORRIBLE! This is just something you've got to get over. The rape issue is even deeper. You've got to learn to not associate it with sex on the whole. Not all people are out there to hurt or violate you and you need to try to accept love and the fact that you can enjoy it too. Sometimes self-manipulation (ok...masturbation!) during sex can help a woman to achieve orgasm. Who says you can't touch yourself during sex! It helps! If he's not hitting the right spot then why don't you help out! But you'll have to get over your hangups first. That's the tough part. GOOD LUCK and keep up hope and happiness. Link to comment
PrincessIzzyb Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 You know what? I am not sure if I have ever had an orgasm. But, I do know that it varies for people. So, if I were you, I wouldn't worry. Link to comment
jimbucktwo1776 Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 I think you should get some professional help, this could be serious. Link to comment
geoblue Posted July 13, 2003 Author Share Posted July 13, 2003 well... these last 3 weeks of my life I discovered messageboards... and I have this almost frivolous freedom of speech that I do not posess naturally and verbally. It is like nothing I've experienced before... so yes I can say that I've 'talked' about it... in that I have written in another msgbrd that it as happened... there was something that happened that night that was worse than the rape... and my shrink kind of knows about that.... but... I've never talked to her about the CSA... my uncle SA from 3 yrs... and my father's 'friends' from 3 too... my father didn't care for me... which is how this all happened.... I guess I don't believe in fussing over spilled milk as such... I've had two sexual partners... well... one was more of a drunken thing one night... never again... The other was a wonderful guy who I went out with when I was 17... he was 19 and perfect... I of course broke his heart... because it is in my programming... then I emmigrated to canada when I barely turned 18 and been here for the last two years... I speak to him all the time... I actually believe that perhaps I loved him... I never thought I'd allow myself to. Anyways... he was m first voluntary sexual partner... and so gentle and patient... never forced me to do anything... lay with me and comforted me when I cried after we had sex... he was so kind... I made him cry because he was so upset for what he believed was him hurting me! He wanted to stop because he thought that he was hurting me... but he wasn't... Oh god... I want to tell my shrink about SA... I've been going to her every week during uni term for the last 18months... and she is wonderful... I was turned away by 4 shrinks when I was little and I guess that didn't help... they said they weren't trained enough to help me.... She doesn't know about the rape... I'm afraid to tell her in a way... because although I can speak a little more... and joke a little more about sex than I used to... I sit there in her office and I know that as soon as I think about it... I will be a child again... and I won't know the words... I mean... what do I just say?? Hi, how are you? had a good week? by the way did I mention that before they murdered my friend they raped her repeatedly and raped me too?? ARG.... the frustration just.... grrr.... I always try to be so cheerful about things... you know... after I told her about the beatings and everything I would chuckle so that it didn't seem so bad.... like it wasn't me they hurt... like all the scars on my arms legs and back were not there... like someone put them there as part of a costume... but I know... that telling a real living person about the SA... I know that I would just cry or scream or get upset... for goodness sake I'm sitting here watching the screen becoming blurrier and blurrier... why am I crying???????? I'm so BLOOODY WEEK and pointless.... I hurt the only man that will ever want to love me... the only man other than my grandfather that treated me kindly... that didn't try to hurt me... "play" with me... use me... and now I'm just some fat ugly almost 20 year old.... I don't want to turn 20 next sunday... I want to turn 70 already... and have this lonely life over and done with.... what the hell????.... arg....this posting is starting to go to places that I never planned... I don't know... perhaps I'll see if safeway is open... I've got no more food.... I'm sorry.... I really am... I'm just going to press submit.... love geobluexx Link to comment
segagirl Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 Wow what a wonderful outpouring since the original post.... I am sorry for your pain. I think that it is important to talk about the "SA" to your counselor. And yes walking in and saying hey by the way...is just fine..that's what they are paid for. If you have a hard time expressing it, they should talk you through it. You can also always put in writing and ask them to read it if you are worried you will not be able to talk. You laughing in counseling is a defense mechanism if your counselor is any good she sees right through it... and in regards to the original question, I do in fact think the sexual gratification issue is directly linked. Link to comment
geoblue Posted July 13, 2003 Author Share Posted July 13, 2003 ok... feeling a bit better now... thanks... yes... it does seem bad sometimes... better when I read it and then pretend that it isn't me... in fact I don't need to pretend... I almost automatically separate myself from my memories... I guess it is the only way I can cope... myah..... love, geobluexx Link to comment
geoblue Posted July 13, 2003 Author Share Posted July 13, 2003 i did it... i wrote an email to my T... she knows that she needs to act now... i did it... i told her that i need to talk about it... stop those bastards from stealing my sleep... feeling better... much better...... Link to comment
segagirl Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 I dont know if it counts.... BUT I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! Link to comment
revol Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 That totally rocks! You are very brave - I'll be praying for you Link to comment
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