Relax to come?

[loz2k29]

well i have previously posted about the sex going a bit downhil recently and not having an orgasm for a long time now. i have whittled it down to him not lasting long enough when i am in the mood and all the rest of the time is because i am not in the mood as such. i think recently i have been feeling pressured to come from my boyfriend. it is really bothering him that he cant make me orgasm any more when i used to do it regularly. nearly every other conversation we have involves him going on about how sexually inadequate he is for me these days. i think this has really stressed me out a bit recently and i find myself saying over and over in my head (sometimes outloud which isnt great) please come please come please come lol. sad i know but i want it so much! i was there the other day but because i wanted it so much and i was concentrating on it so much i just couldnt. i think i just need to convince myself that you dont have sex primarily to have an orgasm. i also really really want to please my boyfriend and i am definitely not going to get into the habit of faking it. thats a very bad idea. recently i have been a bit stressed about work too but that should be sorted out soon.

 

do you guys have any ideas on how i can take my mind off it? i just need to get myself in the mood really and get into the right frame of mind? i think i also need to tell my boyfriend to stop going on about it. it is actually starting to get me down a bit and the more i think about it the more i cant relax and just enjoy the sex. help! please

[bouldersweden]

I think relaxing is the only solution here. Nothing is fun when you're stressed and if he's all wound up he won't exactly be hitting home runs either. I don't know if your boyfriend is really into foreplay, but maybe he should try to get into it. If he can get you into the mood early on in the game he might start to relax about the whole thing as well.

If he’s not traditionally into that sort of thing, try introducing him. If I’m stumped about a girls needs and I don’t seem to be getting anywhere it’s a real relief when she can show and/or tell me what she wants. I don’t know your boyfriend obviously, but if he’s all stressed out about it he should be up for some friendly direction. Hope this helps.

[loz2k29]

yea my boyfriend is definitely into foreplay. he manages to make me you know... wet very easily, so my body is ready its just my mind that isnt and flatly refuses to relax. its as though i am constantly willing myself to come.

[Tigris]

Tell him to do oral on you until you come and then have sex with him, that way you both get what you want and you'll be more relaxed.

 

Have fun.