Jealousy of the ex-girlfriend?

[cobro]

I've had a strange week, I've started seeing this new girl, I'm just starting to get to know her and liking so far. We are taking things slow. She is almost 100% my type. Well, on Monday my ex called to say "hi" and we had a good conversation, just chatting. She knows I am seeing this new girl, she used to be friends with her. Well, I thought Monday would be the last time I heard from the ex for a while, we usually don't talk since she is supposedly happy in a new relationship with a loser with no direction in life. So I went about my week, and on Thursday she called me again, just to say "hi" and to see if I passed an IT certification test I took earlier in the week. (I wonder if she realizes I have direction in life, unlike her new guy?) We talked for like 30 minutes about stuff, she asked me how it was going with the new girl, I told her it was going nicely, we are just taking it slow to see where it goes. I never ask about her relationship, since she was the one who initiated the breakup. I made it understood we are friends and to let me know if it makes her uncomfortable when I talk about my relationship, she said it didn't. She said she thinks about me often, I am the only ex she thinks about. So we end the conversation nicely, saying "Talk to you later". Cool. Well I thought it would be a few weeks before we spoke again, like usual. But no, she calls me at 1:30am today to just say "hi" and to let me know she was in the neighborhood dropping off a friend, and felt like she had to call. I told her thanks, we talked again for like 20 minutes about bs, nothing about my new relationship, although I did mention a restaurant me and the new girl had gone to earlier in the evening. But that was it. So we talked until she had to get off the phone when she got to her boyfriend's house. She said it was great talking to me. I said the same. Talk to you later. I'm not trying to analyze this, but she has called me 3 times this week, 2 times after she found out about my new relationship. Also the reasons she has used to call me the last 2 times have been quite lame, especially "I was in the neighborhood". What's her deal, is she just trying to be my friend or is she throwing out hints that something is gravely wrong in her new relationship, and she is realizing what she had, and it is bothering her to see me moving on. I could really use some opinions on this, I am not going to let her affect my new relationship, if that is what she is trying to do. What do you think? Anyone experienced this? Thanks!!

cobro

[bryan]

Wow,,,she probably realizes that you have moved on. Some girls, even thought they have moved on themselves, hate to see the ex's able to move on. Girls like it when their ex's are still hooked to them. Its like the girls have a backup plan with their ex if the new relationship goes sour. It sounds like she is jealous of you being with another girl and is worried that she will never have another chance with you if you date the new girl. It;s hard to tell if she truly misses you and has feelings for you or if she is just playing games. Only you can determine that based on her past personality with you. My experience is that I thought my ex truly did miss me and wanted to work things out, but it ended up being a mind game to see if she could get me back. Once she realized she could have me back and I was still wrapped around her finger, she left me a second time. I will never be that stupid again. It sounds like you want things to work out with her though? Am I correct? Whatever you do, just reassure her that you are doing just fine without her and that you have moved on. For god's sake the girl you are seeing right now may be the girl of your dreams. Dont let your ex ruin that for you. It all depends on what you want from your ex though. If you just want to be friends with her, let her know. If you want more, than let her makes all the moves so you know what she wants. If she really wants you back she will know what to do. Good luck man and watch out for those female ego boosting mind games. She might just be trying to test you to see if you are still vulnerable to her! Be careful!

 

(added from a next reply - SwingFox)

oh, and you are definitely doing the right thing not asking her about her relationship with the new guy. that makes her think that you really aren't interested in her as a girlfriend anymore which will make her want you even more. If you ask her about her love life, she has you right where she wants you. You being interested in her love life makes her think she is still desired by you. In all honesty, I would just keep talking to your new girl since you have already moved on from your ex. Talking to your ex will only bring up past feelings and could quite possibly be just the beginning of another heartbreak for you. she broke up with you, so use that as strength to be the better person. It sounds like you have a very strong backbone so you shouldnt have any problems doing what is best for yourself. Follow your head and not your heart.

[Spice]

Hi Cobro,

 

I'm guessing that she heard about your new girl and it hurts her a bit. And I am betting that if you took her back the same thing would happened to you that happened to Bryan. She just wants to know that you still want her. Be careful how you deal with this, being that the new girl is a friend of the ex. If she is the game playing type it could turn out bad for your new relationship.

 

Knowing how some women think...this is just a guess. Good Luck!