Saying Sorry W/Out Hope

[Donknowhatodo]

Recap of relationship: We're togethor for 3 years and decided on Nov 1st to break up after a big fight. Anyway we set some guidelines like remaining friends and being there for each other, but i didnt keep my end of the bargain and never returned calls. The way i dealt with the pain was by engulfing myself in school, and i tried to explain this to her but she didn't understand that i was really hurt by this. So in the end she told me to F off and never speak to her again. (i dont blame her for this)

 

Well im trying to make amends for this now, and im going extremely slow to re-earn her trust, but im so lost on what to do. We have spoken over the phone and on AIM and each time we do she warms up to me and forgives me more and more \\ But today i got the courage to ask some heart wrenching questions, 1) does she still love me? and 2) Is she seeing someone.

 

For the love question she said she isnt sure, but she feels that what i did to her has blinded her love for me, and that she probably does still love me.

 

For the second she said she is kind of seeing someone but they dont consider each other b/f or g/f. I DONT GET THIS!!! I offered to drop out of the picture but she said she wants me to talk and that she wont allow him to dictate who she talks to.

 

Im just lost right now i know what i did was wrong and that i may have lost someone that i wanted to marry but at the same time when i speak to her i feel hope only to be met with resistance. How do i show someone im sorry for what i did, and at the same time not fill myself with hope for my g/f to be back in my life.

[Lady Bugg]

Ok, what exactly is it you want? Do you want her back as your g/f or just a "friend"? I am asking because trying to remain" friends" with someone you wanted to marry is going to be almost impossible. Why? Because you are lying to yourself for one....and the contact will become unbearable. You'll be getting "table scraps" for attention from her while other men receive the main course. Are you ok with that??

 

You have apologized to her....and she accepted. No need to keep apologizing, or you will wear it thin. SHOW her you are sorry with your actions and by NOT repeating the same mistakes.

 

Just be honest with her about your intentions...and don't allow her to

take advantage of the situation either. Many times a "wronged" party will try milking the relationship to their benefit, with guilt trips and game playing. Don't fall into that trap.

Good luck!!

[Donknowhatodo]

oh sorry ill try and detail it better. I do want her back as my g/f i couldn't deal with the "table scraps". And by apologizing i mean showing her i am sorry without pushing her away and without giving myself false hope. I know im walking on the thinnest ice right now but the situation is alot better than what it was a month ago.