Need some help in this battle!

[BigSyke]

yea, shopping did NO help, maybe for a bit, but then i kept looking at my phone. This is hard man, its like a living hell.

 

She never sounded like she felt guilty. I even said i forgive her for hurting me, and she said why, i really didnt do anything wrong. I just dont understand. I asked for closure, and she still hasnt responded, usually she would have said something by now. Could it be she wants to keep me close for the time being? by not saying "dont text me anymore!" its seems like she does.

[healinginnyc81]

That's another possibility. But you really have to try to get your attention back on YOU. What do you need to work on to improve yourself? Figure it out and set goals for yourself. What do you enjoy doing, what helps to boost your self-esteem? Do those things.

 

As far as closure, that's a tough one, but I would say give her at least 2 weeks to call you back and if she doesn't maybe then you should try to contact her again just to ask what the real reasons were for the breakup. But you have to make sure that your time is spent solely on getting yourself better not on devising plans for getting her back or worrying about what she's thinking.

 

Live each moment as it comes don't worry about the future right now because the future is going to look bad when you're in this situation.

Hope you feel better.

[Hope75]

Could it be she wants to keep me close for the time being? by not saying "dont text me anymore!" its seems like she does

.

 

It's doubtful. Don't read into something that's not there because you want it so badly, and that's what you are doing.

 

The facts are that she left you and is not responding to you and you are bordering stalking her now by continuing to contact her.

 

It's not healthy. You need to let her go and focus on yourself.

 

It IS hard. Have you considered therapy? How about working out, have you been doing that? Turn off your phone so you aren't tempted.

[healinginnyc81]

Also, as far as avoiding talking to you, my ex wouldn't even look at me when I passed by her or sat next to her in class for the first week after we split up. After a week I approached her after class and asked for time to talk, she seemed hesitant but gave me time. I talked to her again a week later. I don't really know if it gave me closure. She kept giving me all different reasons for why she broke up and from what I could gather it was just a lot of things going through her mind and maybe it was mostly just that she lost feelings for me and couldn't actually explain why. She was confused. She has never attempted to contact me to see how I was doing and I don't expect to ever hear from her again. I think the closure came when I thought about it myself and realized the mistakes I had made that probably drove away her love, like being less inclined to flirt and have fun or being less committed to open and honest communication, or even the fact that we started avoiding conflicts instead of working through them the way we used to.

[BigSyke]

what is wrong with me i cant stop crying! i cant stop! is this normal? ive been through many break ups before, and non were like this. I CANT STOP CRYING!

[BigSyke]

well i guess i got my closure. I wanted to find out if she was ok and still alive, so i called. She picked up and hung up. Then texted me telling me "dude just stop"

 

I dont know if im either in shock right now, or relieved. I dont think its going to hit me for a while since i basically smoked a pack after reading that text, just thinking "she did not just send that". No way after a year did she just say that. Ive been trying all day to hear from her, which she didnt reply. Well, looks like she doesnt give a crap at all, haha im in shock i guess. I think the fact she texted me makes me feel good, but it will hit me later on what she texted me, and im scared. Scared on how I will feel once i realise this is "real", final, done, never again. Yes i screwed everything up, completely but doesnt this mean i can get over her now? I want her to be mean so i can say "look at this b**ch, shes not worth it".

 

I almost want her to start swearing at me so i can hate her, and remember how she cheated and screwed me over all the time. its like i just wasted a year on somebody totally worthless.

[BigSyke]

How can i keep my self feeling in this chilled, shocked state? i feel numb to the situation right now and its kinda cool. I will have to wake up and smell the roses soon, but ive had enough of that for one day. Ahhh well its done, no turning back. Shes obviously with her new boyfriend right now. dam. i dont know what to do, im already torn apart. She didnt know what she wanted, but i guess i kinda made her decision for her. shoot, oh well i know its for the better. I will hate myself in the morning, oh boy

[BigSyke]

ITS NO CONTACT FOR LIFE BABY! im gonna make posters and this is my code to follow. Its changing time. haha sorry for all the texts im just struggling here. dont wanna change feelings, i feel a tad better. i just want to hate her now. She destroyed my soul before and after the relationship. God will help me! im going to rise up fast, never talk to her again, give her some treatment of her own. lets hope i stick to it.

[Dregnought]

With that attitude you WILL stick to it. We are all here, we are all your friends. Your Comrades. And together, we shall stand up and fight for what is right.

 

Even if no one else will (and they will, i know they will), ill stand up with you. Im with you Brother.

[BigSyke]

YES! this is a battle! my phone is no longer a part of me! I laughed at NOTHING for the first time in months! I just keep thinking on how strong i will be after all this drama. i dont need this! shes having SEX with some guys, which makes me almost cry typing it, but WHO CARES!!! I am building, she is maintaining old property. BOOOYOW!

[BigSyke]

HAHAHAHA i just texted the ex'oso and said "babe! thank you for breaking up with me! i almost killed myself and found god because of it, i am so happy right now!"

 

HAHA eat that BIATTT***CH I have won the WAR! i won, take it! take it! haha i was dancing around my room like a kid for like 20 minutes YEA BOY!

[Dregnought]

Im so glad your happy. Now that you see what life is like without her, i know you wont go back.

 

Party Tonight man.

[BigSyke]

dude, i am partying by my self! i dont know if it was all the crying, or what. But i feel to hot for that low life. SHE DOESNT HAVE A CHANCE WOW! haha im glad she broke up with me! I purposly made myself hit rock bottom, which is what i think we all need to do. It hurts for a while, but after you REALLY hit hard, theres no where else to go, but UP BABY!

[Hope75]

HAHAHAHA i just texted the ex'oso and said "babe! thank you for breaking up with me! i almost killed myself and found god because of it, i am so happy right now!"

 

Hey Big Skye,

 

Now that you've made NC your mantra, you have to stick to it.

 

Contacting her over and over is just holding you back and not helping you. You were desperate for her to ask you to stop and she did, so try to accept that and don't harass her any more with texts. You deserve more and you are wasting your time and setting yourself up for a restraining order if you don't back off.

 

Hang in there!

[Bethany]

You have to face the pain and all your hurt and fears. She can't take them away for you, they are YOUR feelings and YOU have to face and deal with them yourself.

Going back to her is just a vicious circle where you are adding more and more pain and hurt on top of the massive hurt you already feel. Spare your heart and face the pain.

[BigSyke]

yea today was hard in the morning, still is....but im not crying. its just a dull pain. Well she talked to me for a little bit this morning, calling me babe and stuff. i dont know. I asked if i could take her out one day, she said yeah, and that was that, she didnt respond to anything else after that. So oh well, im probably not even going to meet her up.

 

It just sucks not having her around...i accidentally drove to her house today after work, then was like "wait....what am i doing" and was bummed big time.

[Dregnought]

Seems like you almost fell for her again. Stay away at much as you can. And that stay away some more. Understood?

 

The days get easier, and longer as you realise that you dont need this girl, and as far as your concerned, she can have sex with as many pigs as she wants, your better then that. Live On.

[Hope75]

Hey Big Skye,

 

What happened to No Contact?

 

It isn't helping you to keep contacting her, each time it's like re opening your wounds and bringing you back to the first day.

 

I know you don't always want to feel this way. The only way to avoid that is to keep the distance and stop contacting her.

 

As long as she isn't willing to give you what you are looking for in a relationship, you aren't going to be happy or satisfied.

 

You deserve to have an equal partnership.

 

You aren't getting that from her.

 

What is the next step?

[ONE SXXY LADY]

BigSkye, No offense but you are acting like a creepy stalker. All the calls, texts, saying you almost KILLED yourself. Thats just pathetic. Why would you DO that to yourself??? No one is worth that statement, EVER.

 

Be glad she did you a favor and MOVE ON.