Holiday Season = Missing them even more

[antigravity]

Damn these holiday seasons!

 

Just spent the first christmas without my partner since 1999 when I was 16.

 

It's been 3 months since the breakup (her decision), and have since found out she hooked up with and slept with an old lost friend (4 times). Took her 2 months to sleep with me. Took him a week.

 

Sitting around with my extended family today, I felt sooo lonely without her there. I feel empty without her love. I miss being the centre of her life. I miss being important to someone.

 

I just feel like I'm an extra in everyone elses lives now... I don't feel important to anyone anymore, and it feels horribly lonely.

 

I can go out, and socialise with mates, pick up girls everynow and then, but it's just not the same.

 

I'll probably never had what I had with her again....

 

How depressing

[renaissancewoman101]

I understand how you feel. The holidays are the hardest to get through since one usually misses their ex. Right now, I am fighting the urge to call up my ex's mother (his mom called me last week and gave me some hope about me and the ex getting back together) and wish her a Happy Christmas, as well as sending a birthday card and small gift to the ex (his birthday is Jan 2). I miss the ex a lot because I would spend the holidays with him and his family. I always hated holidays because my family wasnt really into holidays and I never had anybody to share holidays with. When I found my ex and was able to spend the holidays with his family, I was sooo happy.

 

I miss my ex and the holidays make me miss him even more.

[thefireisoutanyway]

When we first broke up, I missed my ex so much. I probably tried to call her or txt her or e-mail her too many times, and that drove her far far far far far far far far away. I remember, I called her at like 2 am on Christmas Day to wish her Merry Christmas, and she was like... "..wuh.. what time is it?" (But I think she was pretending to be asleep, since she responded to a txt message which I sent 5 minutes before)

 

But you know, it wasn't the holidays that made me miss her so much. I just missed her all the time. I guess I wasn't with her long enough (I didn't really spend any holidays with her).

[Juha]

Yeah I miss my ex also....I can go out with the guys and go on dates...

 

I just feel like I am there as the girls I have been on dates with the connection is not there at least for me...They are nice but I don't feel it and I still go out anyway...

 

My ex texted me a " Merry xmas " just after midnight, right when it turns to Christmas...I did not answer until this morning, I do not understand why she did this and why she could not call...If you have the phone in your hand to text then why can't you call???

 

I miss being at her house with her family as my family is small and don't get together anymore...So it really sucks these holidays...

 

It will get better after new years...

[nataliejulie]

I'm with you guys.

 

I left a voicemail yesterday, saying the following, (I actually wrote it down because I was nervous as anything!)

 

"I'm a selfish, immature, inconsiderate brat. I always expected too much from you. I never cared that much for somebody before in my life and God knows I had not a clue what I was doing. I f**** up so much, I wouldn't blame you for never forgiving me. All I wanted was already there -- you. This time last year we laid by the fire, spending one of the best Christmases I've ever had. Well, my door is always open, when you need a friend.. or just when you need a night where you want to feel how it is to be loved again. Merry Christmas."

 

My birthday was Friday, too. I didn't get a call on my birthday. I didn't get a reply yesterday. Who knows.... who knows?

 

I hope this season gets better for all of us.

[Juha]

Don't feel bad NJ my birthday was Tuesday and she did not even acknowledge it...She probably has forgotten it...I could tell you hers though..

 

SO what do I get from her after midnight Christmas???

 

A text with " Merry xmas " I did not respond until this morning with the same...I should take nothing from it as she sent a similar text to a mutual friend that she sees or talks to every so often...

 

SO I know I am nothing special to her and probably never was...

[captain_anonymity]

First real break up, we were together for 3 years.Broke up sept. 13th Even after the breakup she spent thanksgiving (October here in Canada) at my place with the family. We decided at the end of November that we just couldn't talk anymore because she couldn't deal with it with first year pre-med exams, and I am not able to see her just as a friend yet. Anyways going into this season is hard for me. There are still lines on my ring finger from the engagement ring I wore for the last year, all the commercials on TV of men buying diamond rings for their wives during the holiday season. All the Christmas carols about being with someone you love. Hell even before the holiday season I wasn't coping well, and dear lord do I miss her. It was so sudden, and so out of the blue the break up, we'd been talking about wedding plans again just 11 days before she broke up with me in september. She told me she loved me just 2 days before. The month after she kept saying how confused she was but that she still thinks she made the right choice. Beginning of last month she tells me that there's still a part of her every day that misses me and is still in love with me. Then on Nov 30th after not responding to texts e-mails or facebook messages for 3 weeks she says she doesn't think we can keep talking, and that she feels like this was a long time coming and that everyone else we knew saw it coming and she wonders why I didn't. Now I'm not a stupid person, nor am I imperceptive. I don't think it was just a matter of me missing big red flags... but anyways I'm going off track that's not what this thread is about, this thread is about the fact that I'm missing the most important person in my life in the season that is the most about the ones we love and cherish. And damn is it hard.