Do they really care about your past?

[Blayzed4Life]

I am one of those people who has a hard time talking about my past. I'm very sociable with people at work but I never hang out with them outside of work.

 

I wasnt nearly as sociable back in junior high through high school, I was sort of a loner and I never took school serious so I skipped alot. Now I want to move on with my life but I find it hard to hang out with people who have friends already and me having none. I dont want people to hang out with me cause they pitty me.

 

So what I'm trying to ask is if anyone here has had a bad past but now has friends, what were their reactions when they found out that you had no friends to hang out with.

 

Thanks

[Outcast-Angel]

hey, i get what you mean. i don't like talking about my past either. hell, i don't even like talking about my now.. but you don't always have to.

i've got friends, and i never tell them anything about my past that isn't strictly neccesary.. and that's none of the darker stuff. i know that whatever is in your past might haunt you, but don't cling to it. you define who you are. decide who you want to be, and leave who you were behind. it makes things a lot simpler.

[registered]

Hey Blayzed4Life.... I am the same, having no friends, and I find it hard to hang out with people or make friends with people who already have their own friends too.

 

I don't know what else to do apart keeping on trying and just hoping that one day I can meet some one/people who I enjoy hanging out with.

 

I once told someone I have no friends... that person (a guy) is the only person who makes an effort with me.

He didn't pity me or make fun. He makes an effort to get me to be social too so he is a really good person and his friends are the same.

So clearly, some people are not judgemental and will not pity you or dislike you or anything like that.

 

This whole issue still creates problems, especially with girls - it's hard to tell a girl you like that you have no friends...but I guess you have to and risk it. I don't know what to do there but I wish I did.

 

edit: oh yeah, and I told that guy I was a loner practically when we met not after we had already known each other.

edit: it seems that since I was being honesty and that since this worked out that honesty probably does work best...I don't know.

[Mrocza]

You're not obligated to tell anyone about your past.

 

Just put yourself out there, and never feel like you're hung out with out of pity.

 

I don't have a lot of friends either...but by choice. Over the past few years I've gone through many groups of friends, but I've always been a sort of loner, never "belonging" to any of them, just drifting in whenever I felt like it. They never pitied me or thought I was a loser.

 

You just need to work on your confidence. I have that problem too sometimes...

Just be yourself.