NEED MEN"S ADVICE_PLEASE HELP!!!

[pancakes]

Here's one for you! I met this awesome man and we have been talking ofr awhile, he lives in L.A. and I live in San Diego. We will call him "Andy", well Andy decides to visit me yesterday so I took the day off to be with him, he comes to my house at 11:00 AM and we went to lunch and hung out and then went to my house, well at about 3:30 PM, my front door bursts open and it is my ex!! I was in shock, my ex slams the door and then re-enters and saya he wants all stuff he left at my house, we lived together for 2 years and had been split up for about 3 months and he had already taken everything, so I handed him whatever he had left and then he turns to "Andy" and says to him oh yeah you must be "Andy" I have heard a lot about you, and just for you don't trust her! I could not believe he said that! So my ex slams the door and leaves and so I turn "Andy" and try to explain the situation but he doesn't even look at me and he just leaves and he will not talk to me or anything. I feel horrible that this happened I don't feel bad for my ex but I feel bad for "Andy". I was honest with both guys, I had told my ex to back off because I met somone new and I also told "Andy" about my ex and how he was trying to interfere. Now I am all alone and the "Andy" won't talk to me. What should I do, I never lied to anyone but in the end I still look like the a-hole! I need some advice from men! HELP!! I wrote an email to "Andy" letting him know how I feel and that I choose him and that there is nothing between my Ex and I.

[Knctrnl22]

Since you already tried to establish communication that is all that you can do for now.

 

If Andy truly likes you and can see past this he will contact you, just for now go about your daily rutines and make sure your ex disappears and if he has a key to your place get it back.

 

I hope this makes sense

[Foreigner]

Hi pancakes,

 

If Andy behaved this way, he has a problem. He has either found a reason to play games to get you more interested, or he's got issues, or he's simply insecure and was baffled by the situation.

 

In any case - temporarily forget about him (don't contact him). If he contacts you (don't appear too interested if he does, neither be rude of course) and explains his behavior - you may CONSIDER reestablishing contact with him. Otherwise - it's better for you to keep away from him anyway.

 

Someone who appreciates himself and has self worth - others will consider him (her) to be such. If you'll chase him and humiliate yourself after he behaves rudely with you... you won't help the situation and he'll only lose interest and/or continue his game.

 

BTW the post of jtrcka should be deleted!....

 

Best,

 

Foreigner.

[all is flawed]

hey pancakes,

 

first off ignore that post of jtrcka, whoever he is he should rot in hell.

 

but anyways, like you said, you did nothing wrong. you were totally honest, and never lied to either of them(which is a great quality to have btw). However, there must be something going on in Andy's head for him to react like that. you say you told him about your Ex, and how he is trying to intefere and be an asshole. however, when he saw it first hand, he flipped and lost it and just left without even talking to you. the thing that he SHOULD have done would be to make sure that you were ok, and talk to you and comfort you and calm you down, and reassure you that unlike your Ex, he is there for you. I can not concieve what it may be that made him react the way he did, but there is no reason for him to treat you like that. you have always been honest to him, and thereforeeeeee he should be to you. how much do you like andy? if you are really serious about him, and really truly like him, maybe show up at his door one day, and see how he reacts. if not, maybe its best to have him make the move. hope this all helped. need to talk more you can AIM me is FLAWed, or PM me

-Josh

[jgo1978]

If Andy truly felt strong feelings, or wanted to work towards strong feelings with you, he would not judge you for past relationships. I have a feeling you are leaving out some critical information, which makes this hard to give advice on. If you were up front with Andy, and he understood all what happened, and still does not call you, you are too good for him. If you didn't tell him something, and maybe left that out of your post, then maybe you should consider if you are good enough for Andy. Harsh, but truth.