How to remain friends...

[Sweet Euphoria]

My girlfriend just broke up with me a couple of days ago. It's going to be hard to just remain friends, but that's what we both vowed to do. What should I do to make the best out of the situation? Thanks...

[Mrocza]

I think give each other a little space. It's good that you both vowed to be friends, but jumping out of a relationship into friendship isn't a good idea- it could be straining for you. Give each other a little time to heal and then give the friendship thing a shot.

[Sweet Euphoria]

Going from a lot of communication to nothing is going to be hard...especially around Christmas time.

[Mrocza]

Just slow it down then. I understand it's hard and especially now around Christmas time, but it might also be hard to be around each other as much as you used to. :S

 

I didn't mean completely cutting her off, just give each other a little space too cool off, so you can gradually heal and become friends.

[JMevo]

Give up on a friendship...i finally had to. It will never be anything close to what it was and you'll just be disappointed and hurt. Don't even try...it's not worth the pain. You'll only be there when she wants you to be and not viceversa.](*,)

[lady00]

Give it time. If a friendship is meant to happen, it will. There is nothing you can actively do to make it a reality. There are things you can do to prevent it from happening...such as not giving each other enough space to grieve and let go of the relationship and get over each other. Just give yourself and her space and then a friendship will either develop naturally or it won't. It's okay if it doesn't. Don't hope too much for that...just let things happen naturally and focus on healing on your own before thinking about picking up a friendship.

[catgirl82]

my ex bf and i managed to make friendship work but it doesnt just magically happen, you have to really work at it. the way we did it was that we talked alot about it at first. here are my pointers.

 

1. you have to make sure you are on the same page- if one person has false hope about starting up a relationsihp again, it will never work. you both need to be in agreement that you want friendship and nothing more. you have to have a very very open, straighforward discussion about this

 

2. you have to acknowledge the fact that its going to be terribly difficult to talk to that person for the first few weeks months- for me, id be ok and then start crying after a few minutes of talking. this lasted for a few weeks, maybe even months. you have to be strong for eachother as friends, its a tough process

 

3. my ex and i tapered off the frequency of conversations that we'd have. we'd go from talking every day to every other day, to every 3-4 days. eventually once a week, then once a month. now we talk every couple months. we are still as close as ever but have no romantic feelings for eachother.

 

4. for me, it was very difficult to see my ex in person. it gets easier but try to avoid seeing them in person for a long while, its much harder than you think to not get sad and tearful. over the phone was ok, but i still find it hard to hang out with him. now he lives 200 miles away so its not an issue

 

5. as long as you are both devoted to making a friendship work, it should fall into place. i am a strong believer in not burning bridges with someone you once loved and cared for.