LADIES, IS "COOL OFF" ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING IT'S O

[cccube]

This is a follow-up to my first post yesterday, entitled "I NEED SPACE..." SHE SAID.

Anyway, to summarize, my girlfriend owns a bar and being the owner/manager, she meets guys everynight from Monday to Sunday.

In the six months that we were together, we fought thrice mainly because of my jealousy over her guests. And my inability to understand the nature of her job.

Two weeks ago we had our third fight, and she said she needed space. I have been texting her almost everyday, telling her that I still exist and that I'll always be here no matter what.

We spoke two days ago and I asked if we could have dinner on Friday since it's her birthday. She again uttered "I NEED SPACE", and that she was very busy she hardly has time to herself.

I text her but I never receive a reply.

So my question: IS "COOL OFF" ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING IT'S OVER?

Obviously, Im still so much in love with her and I want to win her back. Apparently, the past two weeks, she proved she's okay without me while I am miserable. Does that mean I love her more than she loved me? Is our love so shallow she can easily forget me?

[Azn_lover]

dude.. you should give her space... Like dont talk to her for like a week or two... then after that, every once in awhile text message her... but like 1 a week.. or even 2 times a week.. and throw in a phone call here an there....

And show her you care for her.. and what she does doesnt bug you anymore... and so she knows you wont fight anymore

 

Trust me, I went with the same phase you did.. I did that same thing your doing.. pretty soon she will hate you for it...

[sayer7]

I have to agree....

 

"Cooling off" doesn't mean "It's over"... it just means "Stop being so clingy, I need space to breathe." She sounds like she may not be ready for the intense kind of relationship you are looking for. Maybe she wants to just be friends with you for now and "being friends" doesn't mean "It's over" either... it just means "I want to enjoy my time with you, but right now you're clinging to me so much I'm not enjoying my time with you. I'll let you know when I'm ready for something more intense with you."

 

Let her come to you. Txt her or call her one more time and tell her that you're just going give her the space she's been asking for, and that when she's ready to be closer friends, to let you know. And then don't txt or call her until she txts or calls you first.

 

My general rule is: If you don't hear from her within a month, reconsider your relationship with her. Only then, give her a call and try to talk things out. If she still says she wants her space then she's probably not interested anymore. Let her know you respect her as a friend and that you'll move on and meet/date new people. This isn't a mind game or reverse psychology... it's just what you'll have to do at that point because that's just the way she wants things.

 

It takes two to tango. If your partner's refusing to tango with you then they probably don't want to be your partner anymore. When that happens, it's time to go find a new partner.

[doblersdream]

Hi cccube

 

I'd like to echo everything that sayer7 has said. Please don't make the mistake i made when my ex told me to cool off and give her some space. I thought that i'd done something wrong and pestered her to find out what it was. Of course this only pushed her further away, and we never recovered from that. I eventually did give her space for a few weeks but the damage had already been done.

 

The 'no contact' rule is tough for us guys, but it is the only way.

 

Best of luck!

[notherenowhere]

cccube,

 

You're topic is similar to one I posted just recently. You may want to check out "For all you heartbroken guys out there...typical excuses". It's in the breaking up section. It may help you out a little.