Would I ruin a good friendship?

[Torn Lady]

I previously posted this, but still looking for advice.

Please help me with my dilema. There is this amazing guy who I've been friends with for a couple years. He has been a good support for me when I broke up with my ex last year. I've always had a "thing" for him, but I was a little scared to tell him since his relationship with his gf was on the rocks. In the mean time, I met this new guy who I like and we've started dating and stuff. I started dating him because I thought that maybe my friend and I were getting a little too close and I thought I should back away and give him space. As it turns out, my old friend really likes me, and I thought he only saw me as a friend. Now I have this "new boyfriend" and I am stuck not knowing what to do. My new friend lives a hour and a half away, and we only see each other on weekend, although we talk each day. My new guy doesn't seem to want to meet my family, and I've invited him down to a couple things and he says he's too shy. I'm a little scared cause I don't know if maybe I'm missing something or not. We started getting more intimate, but I don't know if I should be careful. I know my old friend likes me a lot, but I didn't know at the time, and I don't know what to do. When I started seeing this new guy my friend got hurt and now he's not talking to me and I don't know what to do. My old friend and his ex have long since called it quits, but what should I do. I do not know if I got closer to my new boyfriend because I was scared of my friend telling me how he felt or what. I miss not being in contact with my old friend, but I don't know what to do. I think I like him more than I admitted to and look at me.

[PocoDiablo]

Well, the new BF is right to pull back when you said you liked another guy, so that's natural. If you are sure your friend likes you, then I would suggest that YOU - as the woman - make the move.

 

Generally I don't recommend that MEN ask their female friends out, because usually it doesn't work (the woman does not want more.) But in this case, it sounds like you are both on the same path.

 

Will it work out? I would say only if you felt that you could be intimate with him, as that is often a major part of a real relationship. If you can't, then maybe you just want to be closer to him due to the support he has shown you.

 

Of course, you'll never know unless you try. And if you are good friends, you can weather any storm.

[Mrocza]

Did he come out and tell you he was into you, that he's ignoring you now?

 

Are you HAPPY with your new boyfriend? There seem to be some obstacles in your new relationship, and you're questioning it, but do you really want to break up with him. You might have something good right before your eyes.

 

With your best friend, if you both are on the same page, I don't understand how he sat around (you said him and his ex have been long gone) and didn't take the chance to catch you. I think, personally, if he's your best friend, he should stay your best friend, and when the time is right, if the time comes, then go for it. But why sacrifice a relationship? If you think it's the right thing to do, go with your best friend.

[BillyJean714]

I think you should do your new boyfriend a favor and just break it off with him. If your heart isn't 100% into the relationship, don't be with him. Be with someone who you KNOW you are not settling for. Sounds like you'd be settling if you stay any longer with this guy. If you know that your friend likes you and you like him back the same, then cut to the chase and let something progress from there. Don't stay with this person out of guilt or because you feel he is a nice guy. There are several other nice guys out there..like your friend. Sure, he's nice, but if you don't bond like you do with your guy friend, then it's best to let it go.

 

Save the new bf the heartache and let him know how you feel about the relationship. Don't break his heart. It would hurt even more, if you prolong the relationship any longer. Best of luck!