My housemate: driving me crazy

[shoong]

hi, any advice?

 

I've shared a house with a long time friend now for just over a year but we've been friends for many more. I've always known that we are different in many ways but it's not that which is bothering me, it's his behaviour which is getting stranger by the week. Has anyone else had this before or can advise?

 

1) He's meticulous about routine. We take it in turns to cook for the both of us each night. However, if I'm out with other friends having a good time I can guarantee my cellular will ring & he will be on the other end of the line asking me what time I will be home for dinner. If I say 'I'm back soon anyway' this seems to upset him & he grudgingly accepts that or if I say 'no sorry I won't be' he'll cut the call of immeadiately & won't speak to me for approx. 2 days afterwards. Why do that? We are both 25 years old, he can fend for himself. The last person who did that to me was my mother!

 

2) He has constant mood swings which he makes sure everyone else knows about. It's terrible trying to watch TV or something similar with such an icy atmosphere.

 

3) If I go out anywhere with friends to maybe the sports center or anywhere this seems to irritate him also, even if it's somewhere I know he does not want to go. Th is causes him to go into a elongated sulk.

 

4) He critises nearly everything I do & seems to want to disagree with me for the sake of it, to the point where he seems condasending.

 

All he seems to want to do is sit in front of the TV & smoke pot. I like doing that sometimes but not everyday, I don't want to waste my evenings! Why does he feel that I must do the same? Another of my friends commented the other night that he is just like an over-bearing wife which I was annoyed with at first because I thought he was implicating I was gay with out foundation. But when I think about it that is how he comes over. Could it be that he is gay & wants me to stick around because of god knows what..?

I'm not a confrontational person by nature really & he's a very sensitive person but he's making a dark cloud over my head everyday. What I really want to do is break this circle & say something but I get the feeling that no matter how diplomatic I am I know it will severly hurts his feeling & he'll go into one of his extended sulks.

Do I need to be more assertive & lay down rules? I just want to go out & do things without the thought in the back of my mind that I'm going to come home to a miserable atmosphere but I don't want to fall out with him.

Any suggestions would be appreciated?

Shoong.

[foolish]

I think he really has some issues. I would have a talk with him. Tell him how you feel. He really needs to know this. He seems to be a control freak! Does he have friends? Does Family come to visit him ever? There may also be a chance that he is gay. I would tell him that you need some time to yourself too. Tell him you have a life of your own and you seem like you want to run my life. Maybe he should seek a counselor. He may also be jealous of you. Be careful though. Ever see Single white Female? I would get the hell out of there.

[tmakinen]

Hi , I agree with shoong, get the hell out of there! I had a roomate with the same personality defect. He started acting and saying thing like we were BF & GF! He got very clingy and had irrational fits! It creeped me out! . I got out asap.

You have no obligations to him(roomate) except for the obvious;rent,phone bill on time etc. He's not your mother or your wife/gf! Make any excuse to get out!You dont need the drama. Good luck,take care.