the friend path rocks

[DiscipleOfChange]

Way back at the beginning of the year, there was a girl in two of my classes who I was interested in. I approached her here and there and did the get to know a little about her routine. Long story short, I found out through a mutual friend that she was only looking for a friendship. We're pretty good friends now. We talk after our classes and I've begun trying to hang out with her more outside of class.

What I'm trying to express here is a lesson for all those of you who get the "only friends" line somehow or another. Being friends is great and more often than not, if the girl really means it and isn't blowing you off, then a good friendship can easily result as long as you do your share. In fact, being a friend can help you in many ways because as a friend, the girl can vouch for your character and integrity and connect you to her female friends.

So basically, don't get down when you find out a girl just wants to be friends. Take that opportunity and remember: many great relationships are based on a good friendship. I don't mean to say be a friend but secretly still be in love with a girl, but don't see a friendship as a dead end.

[Tigris]

She might not be interested in you now but a few months in the future she might feel differently towards you.

 

Christmas is a great opportunity to get to know people better, especially under the mistletoe.

[Dating Coach]

If you are looking to just make friends with a girl, yes, it can rock. If you are seriously crushing on someone who just wants to be friends with you, then yes, it can SUCK.

 

Friend route for friends

Dating route for dates.

[DiscipleOfChange]

The sucking only lasts temporarily if you're smart about it though. Once you get over it, which is something you need to do anyways, it gets better.

[TheWriter1]

I'm trying to do this with a girl who lead me on, she said she still wants to be friends but it's proving easier said than done. I mean don't get me wrong i'm almost positive she thinks i have no extra feelings for her any more, im good at hiding that, its just that having to sit and hear about this guy that made her stop liking me kills me sometimes. I guess time heals but whatever, its still pretty tough for now.

[DiscipleOfChange]

Yeah. It can be tough like that. I'd say that at least on a minimal level, every guy is still attracted to an ex-crush even when they're just being friends. This attraction doesn't necessarily influence the guy's actions but it's still there.

[Dating Coach]

I'm trying to do this with a girl who lead me on, she said she still wants to be friends but it's proving easier said than done. I mean don't get me wrong i'm almost positive she thinks i have no extra feelings for her any more, im good at hiding that, its just that having to sit and hear about this guy that made her stop liking me kills me sometimes. I guess time heals but whatever, its still pretty tough for now.

 

If it hurts then don't do it. This is why being pals with someone you are still crushing on can cause major problems. She isn't interested and she will never be interested, but being there all of the time listening to how excited she is about a guy whom you feel isn't good enough for her can be very painful. The thing is, you don't have to be there like this and putting yourself in this situation is a choice. You are not being a bad person or a bad friend by removing yourself from this.

[Miss M]

I totally get what you're saying, and yes, I also totally agree. I guess it's not all that common overall, but it has happened a lot for me to end up with very good friendships that started off with the guy having a crush. And yes, some of those friendships were golden. And some of the guys eventually described it just like you, and were very grateful in the long run. The friendships were much better, much more meaningful and more important than a relationship could have ever been between us.