My ex is very arrogant.

[lillady898]

I was really considering having a friends with benefits type situation with my ex, but after talking to the guy I've realized something.

 

He's not all I've made him out to be in the past. I feel absolutely zero attraction towards him. I remember exactly why I broke up with him. What kind of guy ends a conversation with, "Talk to you later my little 'demeaning word for a gay person'-a**?" That's just wrong in so many different ways. Also, I'm straight. Then he proceeds to tell me that he can say this and doesn't care if I won't 'hook up' with him because of it. Besides, he says, he always has his hands to use instead. On top of that, he thinks he's doing me a favor to 'hook up' with me. Apparently, he believes that I need sexual gratification. just as much as he does. Right. I think if I want sexual gratification with anyone, it's going to be with someone respectful and who I care about. I thought that I cared about him, but how can I? He's nothing to me anymore.

 

Now, I'm just thinking, do I tell him how awful he is the next time he calls? Or do I just ignore the calls? Or do I go see him and kick him for saying some of those things? Which I'm very willing to do (kidding... kind of).

[bellaZerlina]

Whoa this guy is incredibly warped. It is ultimately your decision how to handle your reaction, but I would gauge it upon how his remarks effect you. Keep in mind since he seems like a cold and very manipulative person his response to whatever you say will probably be hurtful and uncalled for. I believe you are very wise to cut him completely out of your life. You are very correct you deserve a respectful man who never would sink so low as to call you demeaning names. I know this is not an answer, but rather just ideas to ponder. I wish you much luck

[Gilgamesh]

Why would you even consider having sex with someone you have already left because he doesnt respect you? you say "he is not who you made him out in the past" and this is true, you made (saw) him the way you wanted and not the way he has always been.

 

From his comments its obvious he puts you below him, in no way does he make you feel special.

 

So IF he calls again, tell him he can stay with his hands, and not to call again.

 

Put this guy behind you and as you said in your post find someone thats "respectful and you can care for" , but I will also add, that this someone also care for you and not only about himself.

[kellbell]

Hi there!

 

I have been following your story and this dude sounds like a piece of work! But I am going out on a limb here too and say you are just as guilty for this perdicament. You know this guy is terrible, mean, demeaning, etc but you carry on with him. Stop it! It would not be right for you to tell him what a loser he is when you have been an active member in this situation as well. You know what you can do...is to say nothing at all. Silence speaks volumes.

 

I hate to come accross as mean but people will treat you as you LET THEM! If he is calling you names, deragatory names and you continue to have sex with him...well...you know where I am getting at.

 

Cut this man out of your life for good. You said so yourself, you are no longer attracted to him, he makes you feel bad, let him go. Don't say anything. Just go on with your life. You deserve better. Take care and treat yourself right. Peace.

[lillady898]

I think I may have left a few things out: We haven't yet hooked up since before the break up. It was only a tentative "sure, maybe we can hook up." He's long distance and only in town for the holidays. He's single, I'm single. We are both over eachother and not looking for a serious relationship. I called him after a month of no contact, he was extremely pleasant and glad to hear from me. It seems like since I won't get upset or jealous over the things he says, he just gets more mean and vicious every phone call. Talk about ego.

 

I'm not letting him walk over me. If I was being submissive, I would've said, "Okay, we can meet up and have sex anyways" or I would've responded in the way he had hoped to his comments. But I've already made the decision to cut him out since trying this whole scenario out. I don't really care if he's mean to me- his loss. Doesn't bring me down any. Just wanted to know how to cut him out... If I should just ignore him, call and tell him why, etc.

 

I'm thinking I'll just ignore the calls. I don't really even enjoy talking to him, so why would I even care to call?

[kellbell]

Oh ok, I see. Well, in any case, just don't bother wasting your breath. Just ignore him and you have it a lot easier because he is long distance from you, easier to cut him out of your life for good. Good luck and take care.