Hurting inside for some reason, needing someone to care.

[Anonymous1234]

its 2:35, and I feel bad.

 

Im 17 years old, recovering from some depression and somewhat recovered from social anxiety. Big steps, but im still depressed.

 

And it all came down about a week or so ago, when my girlfriend just started acting strange and less enthuastic about seeing me. It was just in her body language. You can call it co-dependency or whatever you want.

 

Before it use to the be the fact that I thought we were breaking up.

It took about 5 days of missed phone calls, 3 questions, and 15 minutes of non stop sobbing over the phone (on my part), to get this sorted out.

 

It just took awhile for this thing to sink in. That she's going to be really busy over the summer, and I just gotta learn how to deal with not being able to see her whenever I'd like to.

 

So to my understanding, we're cool, we're ok. Nothing's really going on behind my back or anything that I dont really know of.

 

Its been 2 days, weekend and all. I've called. No answer, left a message saying that I called, and yeah, she's most likely out or already asleep. But lately she hasnt been to eager on returning calls anymore.

 

I just feel sad. I feel hurt. I feel like crying, and I think I'll probably cry the next time I talk to her. I dont really mean to put pressure on her, but it'll just happen like last time, when I'm trying to gather the words to say something I'll just choke up and bam! sobbing!.

 

 

I just feel so depressed, and this really sounds like severe co-dependency. But I dont really have this feeling that she "completes" me, and keeping in touch with a girlfriend or boyfriend at least once a day isnt too often, is it?.

[jake0001]

you have to give her, her space. it sounds like she really doesn't want to hurt your feelings. i just got out of a relationship of two years. she was everything to me and now a month later im fine. time will heal it.

 

you have to get out with friends, get your mind off of her. she will see you are going on with your life and i bet the shell call you more often. right now she doesnt want to hurt you and thats why she doesnt call. when you talk to her make it a nice talk, talk about your feelings but as a second thing in your mind, not the first. i know this will hurt to not just cry on the phone and let everything out at once, but in the end it will do you a favor of not doing this. go talk to your friends about this and talk to your family about it as well. talk, talk, and more talking...this will help more than anything.

 

dont call her, let her call you. if you do call her just ask how shes doing, and see whats up. try not to talk about your feelings and cry at the same time. you can talk about whats going on but talk about it while not showing all the emotion.

 

this comes from experience. i was sooooo hurt my ex broke up with me after a great 2 year relationship, and she started going out with a guy that night we broke up, but it got better, and it will get better for you as well...

[Anonymous1234]

I've seriously tried keeping myself occupied, but there isnt any use.

 

By putting friends on hold for more than 3 years, I'm pretty much of a loner.

 

Last week I tried just walking or running as far away as I can from my house, from any phone. Just trying to keep my thoughts off of her, occasionaly crying along the way

 

But from 3 to 6pm (3 hours of walking/running), I eventually called my mother to pick me up, drive me home, too sore to walk. And she did.

 

I tried keeping myself occupied at home, But then I just broke down and cried.

 

Just before we met that resolve over the phone, I told you about.

 

I could always try harder if thats what you're suggesting.

 

Otherwise im sick of being a martyr, and keeping pent up feelings to myself, as thats exactly what I did in my last relationship. And that entire mess lasted for about 3 horrible years of trying to resolve it, get back together but never EVER did.

[nona021]

hey bud,

im gonna throw some brutal advice your way, k?

 

try to make your girlfriend, either this specific one or simply your partners in general, a lesser part of your life. They'll always be important, VERY important, but you both need to have more than each other in your life for a relationship to stay healthy. Thats WHY this separation is so difficult for you (Well one of the reasons, I'm just saying it could be easier.)

 

It sounds like you are having trouble distracting yourself. Even though your 3 hour walk was a step in the right direction, you probably spent the entire time thinking about her. Try to get involved in real activities. Go to the gym, not with the intent of distracting yourself from her but with the intent of getting a good workout, getting in shape, stuff like that. Do things to DO them, not to stop thinking about her ( because then you WONT be able to stop thinking about her.)

 

Lastly, it sounds like you have some issues with your own personal life. You say you feel like a loner- instead of trying to solve this by spending time with her, do it by finding new friends. I know that when your in crisis this is easier said than done, but it's what will make you more independent.

 

Just my thoughts, I hope they help you, best of luck.