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Just started teaching at a highschool, having problems with female students


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mdal,

 

I'm wondering if it is possible that you have a school concelor come in and actually hold a speach to the class about "SEXUAL harassMENT" and how it works both ways. I think that may be a very good step for you to not only cover yourself but it may also send a message to the students that you as a male don't have to tollerate being bothered with this insanity. Your wife also should not have to suffer because some idiot student thinks its funny to cause trouble. I'm very sorry you have had to put up with this foolery. I really think you need to have someone speak to the class about this, and if that doesnt work, then maybe you need to tell your wife what is going on and ask her what she feels. Just keeping her in the loop will save you from any "new stalkers" or "little hangups" because you will arm her with the knowing and so if it happens again, she will know "oh its just one of those "little" girls again.

 

As far as securing your job, PUT EVERYTHING IN WRITING. Thats as old as as dust but its still worth it. Please don't let this continue, it has already gotten out of hand.

 

Also keep in mind that "SOME" Highschoolers are sometimes very childish and "SOME" of them think things are funny and are in another world. You have a child to worry about, while their harmones are raging and some of them still think the world revolves around them. I hope this helped and I hope you go to the student councelor and principle and bring this up to them. Let them know how serious this is so they can speak to the students about how serious this is. People under 17 seem to lose focus on the fact that they can be prosecuted for harassment. Now and days a lot of minors are going down like adults. They need to know that they can't continue this and actually win.

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I definitely agree with the above statement.

 

Let them know both directly and indirectly that you do not get involved with students and the legality involving such things. Keep things professional and totally academic if you can. Getting past the sexual relationship with students rumor will be difficult and will take a lot of time.

 

They can think whatever they want, but if this leads to actions then things are out of hand. You could easily loose your job if this continues, but you can fix it!

 

Good luck!

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You want a sure-fire solution?

 

Drink coffee. Then go talk to the female students, up close and personal. Your breath, if I recall, will smell like rotting tuna. Problem solved! (Thanks go to my English teacher Barry Bergstrom. While he was an amazing man, he did this to me once when I got out of line and I *never* did it again.)

 

Stalker girl? This is a simple game, really, about control for her. Believe it or not, why not invite her for lunch in the middle of wherever there are lots of people. Then talk about cars or computers non-stop. Tell her about babies spitting up and soiling diapers. Ask her if she wants to help clean up around the house some time. How long do you think her infatution will last?

 

Your picture is all over the Internet, huh? So why don't you post it on the wall? Make a joke of the whole thing.

 

All the chicks think you're hot? Great, start speaking to it. "Well today, class, the hottest teacher of 2005 has assigned EXTRA homework."

 

Any student who brings it up has gets true punishment - their paper gets graded by everyone else, or they have to sit next to someone the really don't like - or worse, they have to do a paper with them - and no spell check, make it hand written.

 

Of course, you should clear everything with administration first. Don't be stupid, don't get in a bad situation. And get the blessing of your wife (sounds like you already do, congrats.)

 

This simply requires you to be smarter than these kids. If you're going to be a father of teenagers, this could be very good practice for you.

 

As my dad always said ... "Think."

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Mdal, you can't control what kids do outside the classroom, but you do have incontrovertible dominion in the classroom. If your class is getting out of hand, then it's time to crack down on the insubordination. Next class, lay down the law. Let your students know that from now on you won't tolerate disruptions, inform them what the consequences will be, and then follow through. If you're as "hot" as they say, the threat of being sent away from your classroom should be more than enough motivation to comply with your new rules.

 

When I was looking for similar information, this book came highly recommended:

The First Days of School by Harry K. Wong & Rosemary T. Wong

 

Do you have a mentor? It might help to have a teaching veteran observe your teaching methods and point out small things you can do to better maintain control over your classroom. You can also find plenty of commiseration and great advice online at sites like

 

Good luck!

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How about asking the administration to add a female teaching assistant to your class. Then the girls who want attention will get it - from her. It also gives you a witness who can vouch for your professional conduct just in case any sort of allegations might surface from a student.

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1) I'd recommend you don't smile at all. do you smile? well, stop.

 

2) Inform them that they are Disrespecting you when they interrupt you. If they interrupt you, then show them an example. Ask them a question and then interrupt them, and say "see, you don't like how that feels do you so you should respect me. respect is mutual, we show respect to each other".

If they interrupt and act silly stand there and stare at them silently.

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I think you just need to lay down the law for your students. I know how it is to want your students to like you, but you also have to make them respect you. I remember the nice teachers in highschool.... we walked all over them, because they let us. We wouldn't do work, we would talk, goof around.. sure we loved being in their class because we got to do whatever the hell we wanted to. I would just tell them streight at the beginning of your next class. Say you won't tolerate any more interruptions (don't target girls or anything... just generalize) and that if they don't want to work with the rest of the class, then they are welcome to spend it with the principle. If you lose a few girls from the class due to distruptions, so what? It's not fair that the WHOLE class gets penalized and isn't getting their fair share of attention and learning because of a few giddy highschool girls. Don't be a pushover... just stick with it. Lay down the law, and be mean about it if you have to be. They'll respect you in the long run.

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Hey mdal, I think you kinda like all the attention, it's very flattering probably. I think what's happening here is that the more you let it get out of control or make an issue about it now. The problem get's worse. You said something about dating students in the 04-05 season. That's where probably your problems are stemming from now. That was a year ago, and your female students, rumors and gossip, make them think you still are that way probably. I can see you would want some respect as a teacher. I agree with the others. I would slowly start making the teacher side come out. I'm not a teacher, but these kids have to pass these classes right? There in your hands, or I'm sure it makes you look bad if the majority of kids are scoring low. Are they getting good grades in your class?

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90% of what goes on in the classroom is in result of what the teacher is doing.. and its in their control. You need to lay your foot down and show them who is the boss. Next time a girl speaks out of line send her out of your class.. show them you are serious... assign extra homework.. pop quizes... make them hate you in a way... until you get the respect you deserve anyway...

 

people will treat you as you allow them...

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90% of what goes on in the classroom is in result of what the teacher is doing.. and its in their control. You need to lay your foot down and show them who is the boss. Next time a girl speaks out of line send her out of your class.. show them you are serious... assign extra homework.. pop quizes... make them hate you in a way... until you get the respect you deserve anyway...

 

people will treat you as you allow them...

 

I have to agree with this. I get the impression that you're trying to be firm and make them stop, but you're doing it with the velvet glove. There are no real consequences, so it's cute for them and they like the extra attention.

 

It's time for the iron gauntlet.

 

Detention, extra homework, calls to home to let their parents know they are being disruptive in class - take your pick. Some combination of that for the trouble makers ought to do the trick. You don't have to do this for every student who's disruptive. You can just single out the repeat offenders. The goal is to have a no nonsense in the classroom reputation attached to your sexy one.

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Yep - I agree with most of the posters.

No more mister nice guy. Things have to change.

You cannot allow distruption in classes to threaten your job security.

 

Come down hard on people causing distractions in class. Make an example of the pupils who find it acceptable.

 

By now, you probably have some sort of knowledge as to the circle of pupils which find it fun to attention seek and take the concentration of the class away - fight fire with fire.

Let them have their attention - by standing at the front of the class.

Standing in the corner facing the wall, etc.

 

Avman's suggestions may also be of benefit to you. It will prove that you are not incompentant.

 

If all else fails - don't shower for a week!

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  • 2 months later...
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