Is she into me?

[The Mask]

Hi,i broke up with my ex about a year ago and i still love her!

to make the story short,we are best friends,about 2 months ago i started nc with her,lasted for like a month then i got tired and txted her saying that i missed her and all...anyways i kinda changed alot since we broke up(in a good way) so now i allways call her and we can talk for like hours,anywas a week ago she came to me from another city (she lives there) just to be with me!!i was shocked cuz she never did that,now she calls me sometime,allways sends me text messages (which by the ways never happened before,shes kinda shy girl) so the only problem is that she has a bf and their dating for like 7-10 months...she says she loves him,he loves her too...

So my question is,is she into me?by calling me,txt me and all i mean..what do you think?cuz my friends says that yes,she misses me and wants me back.

[PocoDiablo]

Oh, ha ha, this is obvious. She's using you!

 

What we have here is a really smart woman. She's got a BF who takes care of all her physical needs (since she is with him all the time) and then there is you who talks to her like a friend and makes her feel good about herself. What is going on is that she has two half-men who are suckers and giving her twice the attention.

 

If she really liked you, she'd dump the BF and hang out with you all the time. Plain and simple. Instead, you are providing her something and she has to give you very little in return.

 

Quite plainly, if a woman is not being intimate with you, she's not interested in you in the way YOU want. If she were interested in you, SHE would have made first contact. You basically told her "I'm whipped and you can use me because I am so desperate, and I would be happy to have sloppy seconds because you're the best I can get. I am a nobody, I am a nothing, I cannot find any other woman." Is that really the message you want to send to her?

 

The problem I also see is that while you are spending all this time and energy on her, you are completely ignoring all other prospects. I would bet there are at least 1-2 other women in your life RIGHT NOW who would love to meet you. Have you ever looked up and around to see who is checking you out? Someone is. Someone ALWAYS is.

 

I used to do exactly what you are doing. For years and years. I never got anywhere until I realized one thing: Women speak with actions, not words. If she dumps him, if she calls you, if she comes over to your place frequently, if she touches you, if she looks you in the eyes, if she makes herself available to spend time with you, if she dresses up for you, if she does anything that is "over" the usual .... she's into you!

 

Good luck!

[PlayBrat]

Mask..

 

She may LIKE you...but thats it. If she wanted to BE with you...you would know it.

 

Go NC on her....that will tell you where she stands.

[lady00]

so the only problem is that she has a bf and their dating for like 7-10 months...she says she loves him,he loves her too...

 

The only problem is the one problem you can't get around. She has a bf. She loves him. End of story. Sorry to sound harsh but if she were into you, she would dump him.

[Hope75]

I agree with Lady. She may like to attention she gets from you, but if she wanted to be with you she wouldn't be with her boyfriend whom she claims to love.

 

I think your best bet, since you clearly would like more from her and she doesn't seem willing to give that to you, would be to create some distance and see how you feel after some real time apart. You haven't lost feelings for her in almost a year, maybe because she is still a constant presense in your life?

[TheSmilingTurnip]

I agree with the others. If she were into you, she'd do somethingabout it.

 

Also, be careful here that you don't become her 'backup'. Because it seems as though she's using you as her 'backup', I would go NC as well.

 

The other possibility is that you are just a very good friend to her...but it seems odd that she'd lavish all that attention on you.

 

Bottom line is this: no matter what her intentions are, it is affecting you negatively. You are expending a lot more energy and time on her than she is on you. Go on with your life and accept that she is not the one at this time.

 

Don't cast your pearls before swine sweetie.

[The Mask]

Well,maybe she is trying to decide whos best for her,me or him...

Cuz she says that i treat her differently then him,in a good way.

[Hope75]

Well,maybe she is trying to decide whos best for her,me or him...

Cuz she says that i treat her differently then him,in a good way.

 

I don't think you should wait around for her while she's with him, "trying to decide". She told you she loves him, and he loves her. Unless her actions show you different, (e.g. she leaves him) than I think you have the information you need to see that she's made her choice, and is sticking to it.

 

You deserve someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.

[The Mask]

You know,i just realized something.

If you truly love someone,you should let him/her go and be happy for him/her.

And i am,i truly am happy for her!

We're just not good for each other,she deserves someone better then me,and i deserve better then her!

It's time to move on!

And that's what i'll do.

[Hope75]

Yes, don't foroget about yourself, you deserve someone who wants to be with you and who appreciates you and loves you, and now, if you can really let her go, you open up the door to find that for yourself.

 

Best of luck.