WHY SO COLD ? :(

[candieeeegirl]

there's this guy that showed interest in me and was very aggresive about it...but today he's suddenly turned so cold....and i have no idea why...i'm so hurt =(

what are some reasons for a guy to suddenly lose interest in a girl?

[Serendipity1607307077]

Sometimes this can happen because of 'clinginess' or because they feel like they are being pushed into something that they don't want..

 

And sometimes guys just don't really know what they want - he may have found someone else he is interested in and wasn't quite sure how to get you out of the picture?

 

Sometimes even, they just realise that they aren't ready to be in a relationship at that point in time..

[candieeeegirl]

but im never clingy at all....

and he told me hes looking for a relationship...and even if he found someone he's more interested in than me he doesn't have to kick me completely out of the picture...cuz thats kinda rude right...wut's wrong with friendship?

wuts wrong with me? what did i do?

[Meow18]

It could be anything really. Maybe he was just having a bad day?

 

See how he acts next time you see him. If he acts cold to you again, then he's not worth your time. How do you react to him anyway? Do you flirt with him? Do you pretend to not care? Are you friends with him?

[candieeeegirl]

we see each other a couple times at school. i wouldnt say we know each otehr well enough to be friends. he did alot of the initiating (convo, calls, messenger,etc)...and i'm nice to him, i wouldn't say i flirt with him....but i'm never ever mean to him either...i just can't believe the sudden change in attitude...he went from super flirty/aggressive to standoffish/totally disinterested....but i guess i'll do what u said and see how he acts next time i see him

i'm still sooo hurt. i don't understand.

[Sexychiick16]

this is called a game...

give it a few days and he'll flirt again

a few more days he wont...

 

its just how he is....and yea i agree

he must have somebody else on the

side...id flirt harder next time he flirts with

you and then flirt with another guy in your

class or that you know...

 

When you see him dont run up to him, when he

comes up to you be busy fliritng with another guy.

 

im telling you its there game and its bullcrap but

my ex did this crap to me untili figured him out

[House]

It is just a giant game. Sometimes when you are getting close to winning, you freak out.

Just like girls, guys like to play sometimes, and it's hard to tell whether they're signaling interest or fooling around, it just depends. Don't go too hard on the guy, he might be a little caught off guard and back away, but also don't shy away. Like SexyChiick16 said, flirt a little harder, let him know you are interested. Just be yourself and things should always be alright in the end

[PocoDiablo]

From my point of view, this is one of two things:

 

1. A brush-off

2. A way to determine your interest in him

 

Depending on how mature the guy is, he may be pulling back to see how you react. You should not be hurt by this, but instead should consider making some contact to see what happens. Have you called him? What about going over to his place? Have you made yourself available to hang out with him, maybe let him know you are free on a certain night?

 

From the male point of view, I know that I judge a woman by her interest level in me. I also know that if I act too needy or desperate it's a turn off. Finally, I also know that if I act disinterested, the woman will often go crazy thinking about what is going on. So, for example, I know that if I get a phone number from a woman and call her the same day, or the next day, that will come off as needy and desperate. Usually, a woman will get a vibe that says "He's not right for me." But if I wait 4-5 days before I call her (kind of like what it sounds like you are going through) and - AND - and she likes me, she'll probably be thinking about me every day. She will probably also be thinking - just like you said "What's wrong with me?" Now when I call in a few days, I am going to get one of two responses from her:

 

1. "Who? What? Who is this?"

2. "Oh, HI! How are you! I was hoping you would call!"

 

So look at these responses - the first one tells me she forgot all about me. She was not interested. This is a sign for me to not waste any more time on her. The second one tells me she really IS interested in me, and she's going to be worth getting to know because there is chemistry between us. This also clearly demonstrates your interest level in me.

 

Almost every woman I talk to will give me a phone number. A lot of times it actually IS their number. But only a few actually pick up. Even less remember who I am. It's a game that men have to play - call a lot of women and figure out who was being polite (ala, "Here's my number, go away, don't bother me") and who is really interested.

 

Now, if he is brushing you off, he's clearly an idiot.

 

As far as being friends, don't offer to be his friend unless you are willing to work on his car, sit around and watch football, play video games, and all those other boring things with him. Really, being friends for men is different than women. Men cannot separate intimacy from any relationship with women, so either you want to be involved with him or not. If not, then don't hang out with him.

 

Good luck!

[PavPPZ1]

Ok, here is exactly what happened.

 

This guy wanted to have you, at the moment that he was aggressive and pushing. He tried, and tried, you pushed him away and kept your boundries, this made him mad and this is a sophisticated way of him showing you his tantrum. He feels that now he needs to be distant and cold for you to realize what you are missing out on. Well if you are distant and cold, he will most likely change his attitute.

 

GL

[Markers]

or now that you know he's trying to get your attention, make a move and quit the games if you like him. You don't need games, so no need to try and spend your life playing them while you could have more.

[patience]

have you considered simply asking him, "why so cold?"

 

call him on his behavior...don't put up with games

[BellaDonna]

Hi candieeeegirl.

 

I'd interpert this behavior as a red flag.

 

I think you should distance yourself a little and try to forget about him now that's he's acting this way. If this is indeed a "game" to him or if he's that moody- it doesn't sound like a person that would make a good boyfriend or friend. It shows a level of immaturity and disregard. Just because someone has a bad day doesn't mean it's acceptable to be rude to others.

 

 

BellaDonna

[candieeeegirl]

Ok, here is exactly what happened.

 

This guy wanted to have you, at the moment that he was aggressive and pushing. He tried, and tried, you pushed him away and kept your boundries, this made him mad and this is a sophisticated way of him showing you his tantrum. He feels that now he needs to be distant and cold for you to realize what you are missing out on. Well if you are distant and cold, he will most likely change his attitute.

 

GL

 

By the last sentence do you mean if i act distant and cold now he will be super nice again? or did you mean he changed his attitude BECUZ i was distant and cold?

 

you guys are all right, i do have a feeling he's pissed cuz he saw me being really touchy with another guy...and the last time we saw each other i was being kind of standoffish, but yesterday i realized what i done and decided to call him to show i'm still interested and THAT'S when he hurt me by being very very cold.

 

hey i tried...can't say i didn't do anything to redeem myself cuz i did call, but what can i do next time i see him to make it up to him? if u can be specific thats even better, lol thanks

[Sexychiick16]

just be yourself, act like you dont even aknowledge him, why bother playing some game...its retarded if you ask me! I went through this and it hurt in the long run.

 

i think that poster meant that its beeter to be cold a distant because its more of a chase that way...