O BOY IM PAYING FOR BREAKING NC

[CATLOVER]

Im mortified at myself.......Ive been reading this board for months since my breakup 4 months or so ago. Im 34 so I have oodles of experience of NC on breakup. So what do I do.....yup you guessed .... I let my ex back in after months.....I let him take me out the other night.....I thought I was good, I was cool, Im feeling all strong and it shouldnt be a problem........what a dam fool......its taken oh ABOUT THREE DAYS for him to upset me. Now Im really upset AGAIN and all the past STUFF rose back up to bite me in the ass......Honestly I dont learn......I must really like pain...seriously! Oh and mind you I didnt let anything serious happen sexually.......THANKGOODNESS or Id be TEN TIMES WORSE. So anyone thinking of breaking the NC please learn from my mistakes since i DONT SEEM TO!!!!

[PB]

So where do things stand now? Are you back to NC?

[shes2smart]

Honestly I dont learn......I must really like pain...seriously!

 

Yes you do learn. You say you didn't let anything serious happen sexually -- that's learning. Consider this a refresher course. If/when he comes around again, give yourself enough credit to know you'll remember this and you'll handle it differently.

 

"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from poor judgment."

[CATLOVER]

Yes, back to NC.....there is no other way.....

 

I feel like a dam fool......and I cant even blame him....he is just being his normal inconsiderate self absorbed self.....and I already knew that.....and I still chose to go in for a round of pain. Yes your right I have learned in that I didnt let it get seriously sexual......But now I know it hurts anyway.

Thing is he spends the whole time he gets any contact crapping on about how much he loves me and I ASKED HIM why he says that when we both know he doesnt.....He says he does but cant commit until he gets all this other stuff sorted out. Im like firstly no one is asking you to commit and secondly all women know 'Cant Commit' just means dont like you enough. So he says ok I understand you have to do NC then...he says I promise I wont contact you...but you can contact me any time you want, and if you need anything call me. WHICH to me just translates to.......if I work this so you call me...then I dont have to feel guilty.

 

ANY way the details dont really matter - it just hurts anyway