when to touch/hold hands etc

[DiscipleOfChange]

At the expense of getting ahead of myself, I wanted to hear suggestions for when I should try and give more than subtle signs to this girl. We've yet to have coffee (sheesh, Monday seems like an eternity away) but I'm figuring I wont try anything too daring on that "coffee date" except maybe when we're done I might try touching her on the shoulder or taking her hand as I suggest meeting again on the weekend for dinner.

 

My plan would be to try and actually hold her hand a bit the next time we get together. Of course, It all depends on the feedback I get. The point is, I don't want to rush her. Now, I know I've heard advice from people on this forum about making moves quick, but some girls I know who are in happy long-term relationships say slow is best.

 

So basically, I want to take things slow, but take actions small enough to move things slowly in the right direction

[JRM]

I wouldn't really suggest holding hands this soon, as that tends to be one fo the more intimate gestures. I suggest you just touch her in playful, comfortable ways (putting your hand on the small of her back, throwing your arm around her shoulders if youre walking side by side, etc).

[smallworld]

You know what always works well? A hug when you greet her and when you leave her. A hug will give you both a good indication of how you feel about each other. ITA with JRM about playful touching. When you're sitting and talking, you can also try lightly caressing her hand with your fingers. If she's receptive, holding hands is a natural next step.

[DiscipleOfChange]

thanks. I actually like the idea of patting her on the back. I think swinging my arm around her shouldrs might be a bit forward. We'll see. The idea is to keep things comfortable between us but not let things get static

 

You know what always works well? A hug when you greet her and when you leave her. A hug will give you both a good indication of how you feel about each other.

 

while I like to think of myself as a bold person, I think that trying to hug her might be a bit much for the first time we get coffee together.

[Kitz]

thanks. I actually like the idea of patting her on the back. I think swinging my arm around her shouldrs might be a bit forward. We'll see. The idea is to keep things comfortable between us but not let things get static

 

You know what always works well? A hug when you greet her and when you leave her. A hug will give you both a good indication of how you feel about each other.

 

while I like to think of myself as a bold person, I think that trying to hug her might be a bit much for the first time we get coffee together.

 

As if! I hug EVERYONE, all the time. I'm a really huggy person -- and its great when you meet someone who can give you a really good hug too, and you're both just like "ahhh! someone else who can actually give good hugs!" lol Its a great way to get closer to people.. I dunno; i've just noticed that when I like someone, I tend to give them alot of hello/goodbye/thankyou hugs... and i've *never* gotten a negative response from giving anyone hugs.

 

But then again, i'm a girl. I dont really like it when random guys im totally not interested in come up and hug me

[DiscipleOfChange]

I'm not saying I wouldn't like to hug her. I enjoy hugs. I just don't want to make her uncomfortable. I just think it might come off as a bit much if I spontaneously try to hug her.

 

Incidentally, your profile says your from Australia and this may have nothing to do with it but in the US, a lot of people have personal space issues which take a while to break down. That's partially my reason for avoiding a hug for right now.

[combat_barbie]

Lonseomeheartmark may have a point Kitz. I've never been to australia but I've been all over Europe, Africa, the US and I live in Canada. People from the USA jsut don't touch each other as much as they do in other places. Like parts of Europe where girls always kiss hello (both cheeks). It's jsut not the same. Not to say some people in the USA aren't hug friendly but its jsut not as common as most other parts of the world. I agree with whoever said you shoudl playfully touch her. Tease her a bit touch her hair then say she has nice hair or something (if her hair is down).

[shelbymustang_fan]

Come on. Hugs are harmless. I live in America, and I think 99.99999 percent of us would never be offended by getting a hug. If you're still worried, you don't have to give a greeting hug, but I think a goodbye hug is a must. But thats just my opinion. Good Luck

[DiscipleOfChange]

thanks for all the advice. I'm sure I'll know soon enough. I'll keep you all updated