my ex n our future

[charlotte_skye]

I have a few previous posts for a cpl months n more in regards to this same ex but i will still give a brief run down for thos interested now....

 

My ex and i were together for 9 months, not that long, but we were close friends for a long time before hand, he was and still is my best friend i suppose......he broke up with me 8 months ago because he wasnt 'ready' to be in love in terms of being together forever and to him that is what being in love meant......i was his first gf, his first time sex also, he even made me wait awhile, like first guy ever to not wnat sex straight up, it was amaizng haha.

 

anyways when we were together he had a spell of depression towards the end of the rship, and he isolated himself alil. I was really good and just told him to take all time he needed n i was here if he needed me, he ended up coming around quickly after that but he did continue to have his problem of NOT being able to exspress how he felt abotu things, not just me n our rship, but anything, his fmaily, his problems etc ANYTHING he was so shut off from being able to open up, he had suffered depression etc when in teens when he felt out of place etc and now at 22 hadnt got much better at opening up....he used to cry even when he tried so hard to tell me what he was feeling. sometimes at night when i asked him what was up with something he would reply ' hang on a sec' n then i would wait for him to answer but when he hadnt in like 10 mins of silence i would assume maybe he had fallen asleep but he hadnt , he was just STILL tryin to figure out how to exspress his emotions n open up, it wa scrazy n he HATED it n felt so bad for it, n he would try so hard to open up, it was hard watchin him try n not be able to, would break my heart.

 

I was alwyas good tho, never pushed him or nagged etc, we just fitted, i accepted him n he did me........we got along great

 

anyways when we broke up i luckily DIDNT chase him or ask for answers or call ec , i simply let him go, we went nc for a month when we slowly started to gain contact again, he would call me every few weeks until finally we met up again after being broke up for about 5 months i think it was........it was weird, was so different, i had moved on n i think he had to but i am not sure......so after this we didnt see nor talk for 2 weeks n then we started hangin out every cpl of weekeneds.......things have been goin GREAT, were very close again.......thing is i dunno how close......

 

im beginin to fele things again, not in a serious way but in a new start again from beginin way, not too serious yet or nuttin..........like ive just met him.........he comes over n stays until 5 am sometimes just chattin etc, n hes started personal tranin me and my best mate n my mum have both on separate occasions noticed the way he supposedly looks at me, saying hes just lookin at me with a deep sense of love, that he looks at me like he adores me so much.....sometimes he accidently touches my foot etc n leaves his hand there, n hugs me for long times, he also leans into me on the couch and flirts with me with tickles etc........the other week he used the exscuse of being too tired to walk home so he stayed the night with me..........but we have never kissed nor anythin else

 

thing is when we broke up he said it was because he wasnt ready, that he needed to sort his crap out first, n he has done that now, he has new job ( one he wanted) and has moved out, has got money saved again and is happy al round , whereas before he lost his job n was strugglin big time with uni..........

 

see, i know for a fact (and i have always said this) that he wouldnt make a move on me even if he did want to get back together.

i mean when we first got together it was ME who asked him out, ME who kissed him, ME who made first move etc, he was just wayyyyyy Way TOO shy n innocent haha.........n i think he would still be the same again now, even tho he was one who broke up with me......i remember when we were together i would say to him 'would u have ever asked me out if i hadnt of asked you?, he used to say yes, but i never really thought he would have, hes just so shy

 

so what do i do? do i make a move? let him know i have feelings again n would like a new rship with him? or just go with flow knowing he will never make a move/bring it up?

 

i know he may nto even have feelings for me anymore........but ahh well

 

what do u guys make of all this? what do u think i should do?

[CATLOVER]

I think Id hold off for a bit longer actually....I know you say he is shy...but I think it would be really good if it was him that initiated anything this time around. Also I cant help thinking if a guy really loves you and wants you bad enough he will find a way to let you know.......enjoy the friendship for a bit longer and see how it goes....what i am saying is really when you think about it he broke up with you last time...so the ball is in his court....and it would be nice for you and reassuring for you if he made the moves this time.

 

Just my thoughts anyway