Please read this and my email to him and give me some advice

[sweetchick]

Ive been dating this guy for about a month now. We have been having problems recently because I dont feel like he is as into the relationship as I am. Like he comes over atleast once a day but he never stays long. We have talked about it before and how it upsets me that he doesnt spend alot of time with me. And he said he wants to be with me and all this and he wants to spend time with me. He moved in with his friend 2 houses down from me but see like tonight was really the first time he asked me to come down there. I dont feel as if he treats me like his girl. He has this female friend who he is always around and last night she came down to my house cuz he was here and he went up to her and put his arm around her, hugged her, and was play fighting and it upset me so I told him about it and all he said was he asked me what my problem with her was. I dunno, Part of me knows he wants to be with me but maybe I just feel that he has changed since like when we first met he was always around me and stuff like that. What should I do? We have talked about it all before and that dont seem to help, it was always emails though never in person. And sometimes I think its me cuz like i dont want to show him how much i care because i dont want him to hurt me, like i think if he thinks i dont care then he wont hurt me or something like that. What should i do

[passions1]

It's quite normal & common not to spend as much time as before initially and yours might happen to be 1 month long before this has happened. Also people do change as well as time passes, initially it's more playful & fun loving, mysterious.

Also it depends on the definition of how "time" is enough for either you, maybe 2 hours is enough for him, while 2 hours may not be enough for you. Also people can be topic & activity selective, so if you 2 have been in a routine that doesn't seem to be as exciting as in the past, then try to be alittle more adventurous. Visit different places, try some new activities.

 

The thing is, always try to have fun, don't lose your sense of humor & don't be afraid to compliment him or the opposite be straightforward when he deserves it. It could be him or you or alittle of both, but don't be afraid to communicate in a manner where he doesn't feel defensive. Try to reach a compromise.

For my bf & I, we don't see e/o everyday, since both of us are independent by nature, so when we do see e/o again, at least we know what it's like to miss one another.

[sweetchick]

Is this a good email to send him?

 

Hey Hon..

Whats up? Naddalot here, Couldnt sleep so I thought Id email ya. I know we have been talking about things that have been on our mind well mostly mine for a few days now but there are still things that are on my mind that I have to talk about because I don't think that we have solved anything. First off, I don't have a problem with Terrah. But like wouldnt it upset you if I acted the way you act towards her to my guy friends? I mean Im your girlfriend so you should treat me like im your girl and no one else. It upsets me that here latley we havent been spending alot of time together and it's like you say it's cause you have things to do but it's always something to do with her. You act like she's way more important to you than I am. And I don't like that. I think that it's a huge deal because it's an issue that is going to be based on trust. Secondly, I still hate the fact we don't spend alot of time together. It makes me think you don't like spending time with me. You come over and stay for like an hour tops and then you leave, we don't go do things together or anything. We need stuff like that in our relationship. I need you to do things to show me you care and want to be with me. I can't show you how much I care about you or how much I want to be with you intill I feel that your happy with me and want to be with me. I know that's stupid. But I don't want to get hurt and that's my way of making sure I don't. I want us to have a good relationship where we are both really happy and that's why I just want us to talk about these problems now so we both know where we stand so we can move forward. I guess a part of me is untrusting of you because your 19 and ive always dated older guys and they were in that state of mind where they wanted a long term relationship. And I have to know that that's what you want. I want you to be sweet, caring, thoughtfull, romantic, and loving cuz thats the things im used to and not only that but it's in those ways you can show me you care. I want there to be ways I can tell im your girl besides the fact we kiss and get it on lol. but like do things to show me you care about me and show me im your girl so i can treat you like i want to. ya know like, Like this sounds really chessey and I know you'll laugh and then ill get mad and say whats so funny in my email but.. like bringing me soup if im sick, or bringing me flowers or opening my car door. Im not saying you have to buy me stuff but doing little things that show me you care and think about me will let me know how much you care. And i would then do it for you. And I want you to come see me alot more or invite me down to your house more so we can spend time together. It just upsets me that you lived there for a while and you never ask me to come over or stay the night with you. I hope after you read this that you'll start putting in the effort I want you too.. We do need to talk about this stuff face to face too but email me back anywaze.

[savagegal]

oh well seems like ur letterpretty demanding..why notjust tell him this:

 

hey i love u and im not expectinganything in return just a man lovinghis girl..it seems that ur female friends gets more attention than me who needs it..i hope to thatthings will be better for the two of us.."

 

hope this will do...

[kellbell]

You guys have only been dating a month, take things A LOT slower and don't demand so much from him. Enjoy getting to know him first and see where eveything takes you. 4 weeks of dating is not a long time at all. Good luck and take care.

[annie24]

definitely!!! 4 weeks dating is not long at all. I think that e-mail will scare him away - make him think that you are a psycho or a nag, talking about the "relationship" so soon.

 

Here's what you do: If you're dating a guy for 1 month, and he isn't giving you what you need... FIND ANOTHER MAN! His female friends have been there for him longer than he's known you, and they'll be there far after you two are over.

 

If you feel ignored, your best action is to pull away yourself, focus on your own friends and hobbies, date others. Has he said that you two are exclusive?

 

You can't make a man act more romantic because you tell him to. Him bringing flowers, bringing you soup - those all have to come out of his own heart.

 

You said he's 19 - why are you assuming he wants a long term relationship? Most of the guys I know who are 19 are just looking to date and have fun. Your e-mail just sounds really demanding, like the previous posters said. Too heavy and serious. Men just like to meet girls who are fun and easy to be with. Your e-mail screams "high maintenance!"

 

I don't think this e-mail will make him more loving and romantic towards you. I think it will just push him away.