questions for guys.....

[blondjeanyis2009]

do girls who have major self image problems turn you off?

 

What about girls who are a LITTLE over weight...like say 10-20 lbs?

 

How many of you guys, when looking for a girl, go after looks or personality....?

 

What kind've personality do you like in a girl?

 

Is it really all about the sex and the looks?

 

if you guys could answer these questions that'd be awesome

thanks!!

[MetallicAguy]

MAJOR yes, if its not extremely big it doesn't really bother me.

 

Doesn't matter. What's your height and weight?

 

I go for both. Though personality does matter more because I'm sick of good-looking girls with boring personalities. I like girls that have awesome personalities and are good looking (at least average, I can settle for that) .

 

I like girls that have a good sense of humor, listen to good music, have things that are unique and different about themselves than the rest of the girls out there, I like girls that happen to be like this and not happen to be in the preppy girl crowd but appear like they're in it by how they dress, I can't think of anything else right now lol.

 

No its not, your just getting attention from losers. There's guys out there who want a relationship. Looks do count though, but imo, if that's all a guy wants out of the relationship it will get boring fast. We don't have to have the hottest girl out there, guys that do are just shallow and don't know what their missing out on . I could sacrifice some looks for some personality...but that's just me. But she has to be at least average-ly attractive though. If she has an awesome personality and is really hot, well the looks are just extra toppings on my pizza.

[blondjeanyis2009]

i'm 5'6"

and about 40lbs, but i'm also kind've muscular from sports, so I don't know if that counts...

 

 

[blondjeanyis2009]

140 i mean lol

[mae_may04]

OMG... If you are 5'6" and 140 and think you're overweight, please rethink this. Maybe you'd like to be smaller, I completely understand that, but never let stupid guys make you think you're too big.

 

I'm 5'7" and 180 pounds and my boyfriend loves me more than I could ever have dreamed for. I used to diet because I was obsessed with losing 40 pounds. I thought that was the only way guys would ever like me. Well, I've lost 30 of it, and it's mostly because he's made me feel secure enough not to worry about it all.

 

You will find someone who is much better than the other guys. He'll make sure you know that you are perfect. The only way to decide if you should lose weight is if YOU want to lose it. If you are happy with how you are, then stick to maintaining it, not losing it for some unknown, shallow guy.

[MetallicAguy]

Do you have a big or small bone structure? lol, weird question but just answer it .

 

If your muscular from sports then that's good because you won't gain unwanted weight I'm guessing because you get enough exercise (30+ minutes of getting your cardio going)

 

You could PM me a picture and I could give you an opinion.

[ShySoul]

Nope, not turned off. If I like her, then I like her. If anything I'd want to help her see that she is already a great, amazing, and beautiful girl. Everyone is insecure about themselves in some way. But everyone is a great person at heart. I'd want to help her confidence in herself by showing her that I've fallen for the person that she is, that she doesn't have to be anything other then who she is.

 

I don't care if you are a little overweight, or even if you are overweight by more. I like the person for who she is, not how much she weighs. And its better to be a little overweight then underweight and looking like a twig.

 

I go after personality. Looks aren't a consideration. Every girl I have liked I have always been attracted to something in their personality. Gradually I fall for them and then I notice how beautiful they are on the outside, after I see how beautiful they are on the inside.

 

It's not about sex and looks. It is about the connection you have with someone. It's in being able to get along with them, have a lot in common, have differences that compliment one another. It's about feeling comfortable with one another and really relating and understanding each other. It's about truly caring for each other.

 

Personality wise, I want someone with a good heart. Someone who cares about others and does the right thing. Someone with good morals and values. Smart, sensitive, and nice.

 

There will be guys who are only into sex and looks. There will be guys who judge you based on looks. But they aren't the good guys. The guy you would want will like you just as you are.

[mae_may04]

ShySoul, you just said that much better than I did...

[ShySoul]

mae_may04,

 

Your post was good too. You are coming from personal experience, something I can't really give being a guy and all. You know what she is going through having been in her shoes. I'm sure your advice is well appreciated.

 

Oh, and I loved the part where you mentioned "stupid guys." They are pretty stupid if that is there attitude.

[DiscipleOfChange]

To answer a few of the questions:

 

Is it really all about the sex and the looks?

 

With respect to sex, not at all. With respect to looks, yes and no. To explain: WE'd all be lying to each other if we told ourselves that looks don't matter. Humans are sexual beings and beauty (no matter how you personally define it) counts. Personality may draw you to a person and their "looks" may grow on you but I'd put money down that 9 out of ten times, looks draw you to a person. I'm not saying that people are only attracted to bombshell beauties, but everyone has their own thing that they're attracted to

 

What kind've personality do you like in a girl?

 

Girls who don't feel the need to wear much if any make up or lipstick for that matter. You don't need anything else to make you more beautiful than you already are.

 

What about girls who are a LITTLE over weight...like say 10-20 lbs?

 

since I've got a few extra, but even if I didn't, it doesn't matter to me

 

do girls who have major self image problems turn you off?

 

I'd have to say yes. I really am not attracted (in a sincere relationship oriented way) to girls who doll themselves up and flaunt what they've got

[Markers]

if something in your looks matters, it's the face. Only those who want to just get laid will look at your body and see how much fat there is.

 

And your face rocks if you just smile.

[blondjeanyis2009]

wow, alot of you guys are really sweet.

See its not totally my looks facial wise that i'm concerned about, because I don't think i'm that bad looking, i'm not ugally, but i'm not drop dead gorgeous either. Mainly its just a body issue. And I started to get into stuff like skipping meals, and even throwing up after I ate. At first I had a thought, this would be for my benefit only, so that i'd feel better about myself, but later on it wasn't about me, it was about the people around me, I wanted to fit in, i wanted to be popular, i wanted to have what my other friends have. There's this one girl in my class who is so skinny, but she's got a really tiny frame, but she was weairing a size 0 pants, and I wanted that so desperately I was determined to do anything to get it. But as I thought about it more. it turned out to only be problems that I'd have at school...its weird because I start compareing myself to other's so much. But i also go to a private school and there's only 25 people in my whole class. But i'm am alot better on my outlooks about how I look at myself now, versus the problem that I used to have. Srry this was kind've long.

 

and to answer your question ( i can't remember who asked) , my bone frame is medium and I would send you a picture, but i'm literally computer challanged and I don't know how to do that lol.

 

thanks everyone

[Burning_Down]

its better to be a little overweight then underweight and looking like a twig.

 

Nice. Speaking as someone who has a hard time putting on weight, I'm not overly enamoured of that statement.

[combat_barbie]

blondjeany, I'm surprised I'm not the first to popint this out but medically speakingy our not the slightest bit overweight. Based on your BMI (body mass index) calculation at least. Acording to your hieght and weight you have a BMI of 22.6. The healthy range is 18.5 – 24.9.

 

For your height the weight range is aproximately:

 

healthy: 115-155 pounds

 

underweight: less than 115

 

overweight: 155 - 185

 

obsese: 185 and up

 

Really you fit well into the normal range. This calculation is based ont eh average person if you have a lot of muscle mass you can probably get away with an even higher weight. Relax.

 

Trust me its not that bad not to look like celebrities. When I was in my first few years of highschool I was very skinny (read 5"6 and 90-95 pounds) and I was actually made fun of by guys for being so skinny. A lot of guys thought I was really ugly because I was soo skinny. Now I'm about 120 and 5"7 so It's not that bad but trust me most guys don't want to date stick figures. Guys like curves.

[Midnightchica]

From my experience as a woman...I would have to say that men prefer women who are tall (as in 5'6"+ in height), thin, and have long hair. I say this because I am the opposite of that description and men make it clear that they do not find me attractive.

[jdheinold]

i'll put my 2 cents in on this..........

 

I've never been turned off by the wight of a woman i'm attracted to. the bottom line is if i feel attracted to the woman, physically or personality, then nothing else really matters. if you're drop dead gorgeous, then all the better, but i tend to find women that are tall and skinny rather standoffish, and that is a major turn off for me. i tend to like women that are shorter and younger than me, but i haven't said no to a date with anyone that takes and interest in me!

 

the way i look at it is that if you're comfortable in your own skin, then you're heading in the right direction. don't try to attract a specific type of man, cos you'l almost always end up with the wrong one. be comfortable with yourself, and someone will find you, and will believe that you are the most beautiful woman in the world. love happens, and you can't force it, so let it happen in its own time. that doesn't mean stay home and wait infront of the computer . be proactive.

 

JD

[ShySoul]

Nice. Speaking as someone who has a hard time putting on weight, I'm not overly enamoured of that statement.

 

I'm skinny as well, so I would never be insensitive to people in our spot. was speaking of the general attitude that women in particular have to be model thin and that if they weigh even a few pounds more then what's considered "attractive" then something is wrong with them. I've heard guys say things like "lose 5 pounds and you'll be good." Whats up with that? Like those 5 pounds should matter? And I was also referring to how people can take it too far and lose weight to the point where it looks anorexic. That is not at all attractive.

 

I do understand where you are coming from. You never hear much about how to gain wait do you? It's always, how to lose weight. But basically, just be comfortable with however you are. What you weigh doesn't change who you are. As long as you are healthy, be happy with yourself as you are.