Ex is feeling guilty

[Eadgbe]

Heres the background of my situation:

 

My ex dumped me over 6 months ago, afterwards i was a wreck for a long time, i got angry at her and called her names, i tried to apologise to her, tried to win her back, tried to make myself look non-desperate (obviously making myself look more desperate). The original reason behind why she dumped me was that i had issues (jealousy mainly) with the fact that she slept with another guy while we were together. When I say 'together', it was a friends-with-benefits situation after i had originally dumped her, although i felt we were close and was hurt by her having a one night stand with another guy (whom incidentally was leaving the country the next day... and she knew that).

 

Thats the short story, heres the long one if you're interested:

link removed

 

Anyway, i feel like ive really made great strides in moving on, i started no contact with her about a month ago and im feeling much better about myself now, more or less forgiven myself for my mistakes and also tried to learn from them.

 

Recently she sent me an email saying she had an anxiety attack, which she has problems with from time to time, and she said she felt guilty about the fact that she slept with this other guy and that wasn't very safe for me (i assume she means in the sense that she could have passed on diseases to me). In the email she said the reason that she was sending it was she wanted to try to 'get rid of her guilt'. She said her new boyfriend thinks what she did was normal. She said shes sorry the email messes up my emotions even more. Pretty much ever since we broke up, every time i have contacted her she has told me to leave her alone and she wouldn't give me the time of day to listen to me, telling me im annoying and disgusting her (calling her names...). Which i suppose is fair enough, i was acting obsessive and stuff. Now shes sent me this email in an attempt to try and make herself feel better about herself, and in the process hurting me (it did stir up my emotions a bit, reminding me of how she hurt me). I think thats a little selfish. At the end of the email she said i wasn't allowed to call her back but i could email her back, once. Which i found patronising. So thats why i didn't reply, i made the decision for myself to stick to no contact. I think she really expected me to reply. Now, about 5 days later, i guess its still playing on her mind, because shes sent me an email last night asking me if i got her previous email, then a text message today saying she needs to know if i got it, and she thinks i must have because im 'refusing to answer her'. Its as though she wants me to reply and get angry at her so she can feel better about dumping me. Or if i reply and forgive her (which i have no intention of doing... shes treated me like crap for the past 6 months) she will feel better about herself that way.

 

In the email she really didn't ask me a question, all she really did was say to me that she was feeling guilty, so what am i supposed to reply with anyway. If it was supposed to me an apology, it was a very bad one, it just upset me, and she said the only reason was to try and make herself feel better. So what do i do now? I could just keep ignoring her, but i feel thats a bit immature. I was thinking about replying and saying 'yeah i got your email. its not that im not refusing to reply, i just dont feel any reason to'. would that be a good idea? just want to leave her in the past now

[heloladies21]

Don't reply, no need. She'll stop soon. You sound much better than in your last post, in control of your emotions. No Contact did you good, stick to it for your own good.

[Eadgbe]

Yeah, my only concern is that if i keep ignoring her, shell get more flustered and more anxious and ill feel guilty about this.

 

maybe ill just wait, if it gets to the point where she calls me, then ill talk, and ill say "whatever emotional problems you have now you need to sort out on your own. you dumped me, i cant be there emotionally for you any more"

[lgirl]

don't contact her! let her reap what she has sown. she feels guilty? that's too bad. she has to learn that there are consequences for her actions. she shouldn't have done what she did to you. and now when it suits her she wants to make contact – but ONLY on her terms, never mind yr feelings.

 

let her stew. she clearly is only calling you to make herself (not you) feel better. Well done for not responding to her this far – keep it up!!

 

and stay strong – you're better off without her!

[fasn8]

You are much stronger now and there does not seem like there is any real need for you to have contact with her. It appears she is trying to play some sort of game with you, and any reply to her means she has got what she wanted. Good on you for not making contact

[confusedgrl23]

Yep do not reply at all. It will make her even more angry

 

Seems like she is playing games with you, she made her bed, now she can to lay in it.

[dreamy333]

she is feeling rejection now.. let her she needs to.

[Eadgbe]

Thanks everyone for your replies : ) i haven't said a word to her. She may end up calling me, in which case i may speak to her, or just hang up, but whether she calls or not i dont really care... im totally smitten with a different girl now. lol