How do i heal after being hurt?

[Jitrenda]

Hi All,

 

My question to all you out there at enotalone: how does one heal after being seriously hurt by someone they really really cared about? Any ideas?

 

See as you all know, i was in a relationship with a guy from another country. And he left. And he didn't visit me at the hospital. Grrr.

 

Well we finally were able to talk and he still wants to be friends with me. And i don't want to be friends with him. Well, i do, but it is better if i don't. For my sake.

 

Being friends with him, didn't benefit me, it was only hurting me. So i wrote him an e'mail telling him i couldn't be friends with him, and explaining why exactly i couldn't be friends with him.

 

And then i blocked him from my e'mail and blocked him from my msn messenger...so that he cannot contact me. I just can't be friends with him.

 

But the thing is: i still think about him ALL THE TIME! And i don't want to.

 

I wish i could say that i hate him, but i don't. I still care a lot for him. When i think of him and i, i think of all the good times we had together.

 

And i want to move on. I want to get him out of my head and move on with my life.

 

Does anyone have any ideas on how to move on and get him out of my head???? I'm seriously hurting and i want the hurt to stop!!!

[novaseeker]

Two ideas:

 

1. Focus on the bad things. Every time one of those pleasant memories comes up, focus on how he left you in the lurch, and how that felt. Our minds tend to naturally hang on to pleasant memories more than nasty ones, but if there werent nasty ones you would still be together. So take care that your selective mind remembers the nasty memories and keep them in mind.

 

2. Get busy. Do things with friends. Go to the gym. Pick up a hobby. Get out of the house. Whatever it is, do something to occupy your body and mind and keep them off thinking about all this.

[L8RISER]

There's lots you can do. Letting Go is a good book with a whole plan layed out.

[cinderelly]

hang out with your friends as much as you can. stay busy, the more you stay busy the less time you have to think about him.

[sinnerboy]

well i think that if you really loved him, the only thig that will help you heal is time, being busy helps.

[HajiMaji]

Time really does help. Not much can be done to speed it up. Its a process and youll get through. I am very sorry you are going through this though.

[breeze33]

as everyone says, get busy.

 

helping other people and doing volunteer work can give you a different perspective on your problems. I know it's comparing yourself against these people's situations but sometimes it does open your eyes when you see those that are a lot less fortunate than you and realize if not for this, you can count your blessings.

[Jaela]

Yes, keep as busy as possible. You'll feel like you're just going through the motions at first. Then slowly, you will start to feel joy again. . It would be great if we could all pop a pill and our broken hearts would automatically dissipate. But time is the only true healer.

 

I'm slowly emerging from the numb stage, towards feeling betrayed, angry, sad and lonely. I may be here for awhile, but at least I'm grieving and going through the healing process.

 

Remember, the sun is always shining above the clouds.