How To Tell if Guys Like You

[ltorivia]

For the past two years, I've noticed that this man has always smiled and teased me. We can be in the classroom together, and maybe 50% of the time, he glances at me. He has complimented me with cutesy names and gestures. The downside is that he's not physically handsome and he's of a different culture. Does he like me? What should I do?

[jackknive]

I think he likes you. So what if he is of a different culture. Thats what makes life intresting is differences.

 

If you don't find him attractive thats something to consiter. But not a total deal killer. Sometimes once you get to know a person, their inner beauty is what attracts you and makes them physically appealing.

 

If you like him and find him intresting, flirt back a lil, or ask him for coffee after class.

[BillyJean714]

How do you know? Often times, you just know. It's a feeling that you get, maybe based on a sum total of everything combined- the way he looks at you, the way he's enthusiastic about your thoughts and opinions. That's when you know that someone truly likes you for you. Teasing is good. Teasing in a sense that he takes notice of the little things about you, and teases you in a way that he thinks that your little quirks are cute. That's also when you know a person is truly into you.

 

Also, if he sticks up for you- if he has your back no matter what. When someone talks trash to you, he automatically steps up and shows he's on your side. If he antagonizes your thoughts, acts like his thoughts are more important, and doesn't show enthusiasm with your ideas/emotions, that's when you know a person is definitely not into you for you.

 

You can tell that a person likes you by the amount of affection they show to you. Adoration/admiration are a huge indicator. When someone adores you, their body language is also very apparent. Usually, you can tell by how a person gazes, smiles, slighty touches your arm (non-sexual areas of your body)

[Stacker]

It really doesn't matter if there not good looking. I met this girl awhile ago and she wasn't good looking at all but not ugly. Just kinda like in the middle and i wasn't that attacted to her. But since i met her at a camp we had to work together sometimes and we talked abit and just got to know each other. After that she looked alot better than before. Although we never became more than friends she looked diffrent after i got to know her. So just get to know him if he's got the personalty that you like how he looks wont matter all that much.

[Caldus]

If it has been 2 years then he probably isn't in to you or is way too shy to ever make a move.

[wlfpack81]

Unlike everyone else I'll admit looks while not everything do matter. If you're not attracted to someone then your less likely to take the chance to get to know them anyways. So if you're not attracted to this guy then don't bother b/c you'd be forcing yourself to do something you wouldn't normally.

[Caldus]

So he's from a different culture and thereforeeee much worse than someone of the same culture (in terms of dating)? What's your reasoning behind that?

 

And wlfpack, good point. A lot of people just can't admit that physical attraction is at least somewhat important when finding a date.

[ShySoul]

he's of a different culture.

 

So? Your saying that you could only be interested in someone of the same culture as you? Maybe you should try opening yourself up to new ideas and cultures. Maybe you should start to expand your horizons a bit. Or is it that you are afraid of what people will think? So what? They aren't in the relationship, there opinion doesn't matter.

 

he's not physically handsome

 

So he doesn't match your arbitrary stereotype of what is physically attractive. So what? Maybe you should be more open to the idea that this image you have of what is physically attractive, in real life people won't live up to it. Start looking at what is really important, who the person is on the inside.

 

Really, I wonder if you told him what you said to us, how would he react? Do you think he would appreciate that something like his appearance and his culture makes you leary of going out with him? If you really like someone, these things don't matter.

[darkblue]

Are you attracted to him at all?

 

A different culture shouldn't put you off.

Physical attraction can dictate whether you take it further or not.

[Dre_7]

So he's from a different culture and thereforeeee much worse than someone of the same culture (in terms of dating)? What's your reasoning behind that?

 

And wlfpack, good point. A lot of people just can't admit that physical attraction is at least somewhat important when finding a date.

 

People don't want to admit it because they think it's shallow. It's just like people who are trying to lose weight avoid food because they think it makes them fat. lol, not the best analogy there..but what I'm saying is that attraction is important, but it's placing too much emphasis that has negative consequences. Denying the importance of attraction is denying yourself a great and essential part of life.

[ShySoul]

Denying the importance of attraction is denying yourself a great and essential part of life.

 

Or its being completely honest and being ahead of our time, recognizing that the physical aspects pale in comparison and could never even begin to approach the wonder of the spiritual and emotional aspects. It's recognizing real attraction and lettting the baser, insignificant levels of attraction take their real place at the bottom of the list.

[Dre_7]

Denying the importance of attraction is denying yourself a great and essential part of life.

 

Or its being completely honest and being ahead of our time, recognizing that the physical aspects pale in comparison and could never even begin to approach the wonder of the spiritual and emotional aspects. It's recognizing real attraction and lettting the baser, insignificant levels of attraction take their real place at the bottom of the list.

 

I know the physical aspects pale in comparison to the deeper things, but I'll never date someone I wasn't attracted to physically. I don't even have a huge checklist for physical attractiveness. Being clean and well put together go a long way. However, we'll never agree on attraction, but I won't start a war of words with you lol, because I respect many of the things you say. And the world would be a better place if more people held some of your ideals. Remember one thing shy..to each his own lol

[ShySoul]

Thanks Dre_7. I just think that most people go way overboard on physical stuff and neglect what is really attractive. Every girl I even considering dating, it was never something physical that attracted me. It's always been something in the personality that makes me notice them. Then I'll see the warm smile, beautiful eyes, etc. Physical has always grown from something deeper, not the other way around.

 

Too each his own? Ya, good motto. Except that concept invitably becomes justification for things that are wrong, superficial, spiteful, hurtful, deceptive, etc.

[Dre_7]

Thanks Dre_7. I just think that most people go way overboard on physical stuff and neglect what is really attractive. Every girl I even considering dating, it was never something physical that attracted me. It's always been something in the personality that makes me notice them. Then I'll see the warm smile, beautiful eyes, etc. Physical has always grown from something deeper, not the other way around.

 

Too each his own? Ya, good motto. Except that concept invitably becomes justification for things that are wrong, superficial, spiteful, hurtful, deceptive, etc.

 

lol, I'd never use that motto personally to justify selfish and negative behaviour.

[Caldus]

ShySoul, I admire your ideals as well but I have to agree with the other people here. Physical attraction, to me, is of some importance. It doesn't mean I'm superficial. Just means I have different tastes and preferences in regards to dating. Also means that I am attending to my natural desire of someone who is more physically attractive. However, I would never ever date some beautiful girl who has no brains or no emotional maturity.

[ShySoul]

lol, I'd never use that motto personally to justify selfish and negative behaviour.

 

Maybe not you, since your posts showcase a smart guy. But in the hands of most people, that's what they will do.

 

Physical attraction, to me, is of some importance. It doesn't mean I'm superficial. Just means I have different tastes and preferences in regards to dating. Also means that I am attending to my natural desire of someone who is more physically attractive. However, I would never ever date some beautiful girl who has no brains or no emotional maturity.

 

And if you were to meet someone perfect in every other way for you, all the same interests, got along incredibly well, fit each other like a well tailored suit.... but she didn't match those tastes and preferences in the looks department? What would you do then? I'll bet those preferences would be gone faster then an ice cream cone on the hottest day of the year. Physical attraction, what people consider "beautiful" on the outside... its all an illusion. You can set up those paint by number fantasies, you can say you want to date such and such girl, have you ideas of what is physically attractive.... but the odds are you'll end up going for someone who isn't that type and you won't mind a bit. Because it won't be the physical that has you hooked, it'll be everything else.

[wlfpack81]

And if you were to meet someone perfect in every other way for you, all the same interests, got along incredibly well, fit each other like a well tailored suit.... but she didn't match those tastes and preferences in the looks department?

 

Realize this shy. In most random cases where you're walking through the mall, jogging etc. if the person isn't attractive to you then you're very much less likely to go over and start up a conversation with them. So your point is moot I think b/c it wouldn't get past a quick general glance.

 

Yes there are situations where b/c of work, class you get to know someone and become attracted to them but in most cases of the storybook I was sitting on a bench and this girl/guy sat beside me and we talked etc. it's attraction that caused that person to come over to the bench and mutual attraction b/t both that kep the conversation going. I mean I you have your views and I have mine. I mean I would like to be attracted to my g/f (if I ever get one) and have her attracted to me as well. Just being honest.

[Caldus]

And if you were to meet someone perfect in every other way for you, all the same interests, got along incredibly well, fit each other like a well tailored suit.... but she didn't match those tastes and preferences in the looks department?

 

Realize this shy. In most random cases where you're walking through the mall, jogging etc. if the person isn't attractive to you then you're very much less likely to go over and start up a conversation with them. So your point is moot I think b/c it wouldn't get past a quick general glance.

 

Yes there are situations where b/c of work, class you get to know someone and become attracted to them but in most cases of the storybook I was sitting on a bench and this girl/guy sat beside me and we talked etc. it's attraction that caused that person to come over to the bench and mutual attraction b/t both that kep the conversation going. I mean I you have your views and I have mine. I mean I would like to be attracted to my g/f (if I ever get one) and have her attracted to me as well. Just being honest.

 

Good points.

[ltorivia]

So, does the guy really like me based upon his behavior? He usually likes to tease me and smile a lot.

[Caldus]

If you like him then why not flirt or whatever you do anyway?

[ShySoul]

So, does the guy really like me based upon his behavior? He usually likes to tease me and smile a lot.

 

He could like you. Or he could be a very friendly person. Only way to know is to talk to him more and get to know him. Then you can look at all of his actions.

 

Realize this shy. In most random cases where you're walking through the mall, jogging etc. if the person isn't attractive to you then you're very much less likely to go over and start up a conversation with them. So your point is moot I think b/c it wouldn't get past a quick general glance.

 

Perhaps its not your appearance, but your general demenor? I have had my days where I'm walking around with a scrowl on my face, head down, feeling lousy. I didn't have people talking to me. On the other hand, when I have had my head up, smiling, feeling good with an extra kick in my step, I'll get people who smile or say something to me.

 

Also, what is your community like? I know of places where everyone is friendly and will say hello. I also know places (ala the big city I'm in), where people just don't do that. There are all kinds of factors that has nothing to do with appearance or even with you at all. Maybe they aren't comfortable going up to someone. Maybe they are shy. Maybe they are too absorbed in their own little world to think about extending a hand in friendship or saying hello to someone. Maybe they have so much to do and think about that it doesn't cross their mind. Maybe they are afraid of what a stranger will think if they go up to him and try to start a conversation. Maybe they are dealing with the same fears and insecurities you are. Blaming your appearance is just the quick and easy way out.

 

Yes there are situations where b/c of work, class you get to know someone and become attracted to them but in most cases of the storybook I was sitting on a bench and this girl/guy sat beside me and we talked etc. it's attraction that caused that person to come over to the bench and mutual attraction b/t both that kep the conversation going. I mean I you have your views and I have mine. I mean I would like to be attracted to my g/f (if I ever get one) and have her attracted to me as well. Just being honest.

 

One, when you get a girlfriend you will be attracted to her and vice versa. And it won't just be off of looks, it will be the whole package. It'll be because of how you connect with her, and that will cause a deep physical connection. Also, your negative attitude strikes again by you adding in "if i ever get one." As long as you think like that, you won't get one.

 

Two, perhaps it is attraction. But not physical attraction. If I saw a girl sitting in the park on the grass with a book, off to herself somewhere, I wouldn't be thinking of how she looks. I'd be thinking about how refreshing it is to find someone who enjoys doing that. Maybe the person gets a glimpse of what they are doing, the book they are reading, the drawing they are making, can hear the music shes listening too, even the t-shirt they are wearing... and decides to start a conversation over that. Similar interests, not physical attraction.

 

As long as you insist on saying everything comes down to looks, thats how you will preceive the world. It won't matter what people say to you. It won't matter if girls come up to you and start flirting. You will constantly talk yourself out of things and continue to wreck your confidence making it harder and harder to wake up and see how things really are. The only person stopping you is you.

[Caterina]

Shy, you are so sweet. I know you will find someone sweet just like you...glad you so strongly stick to your ideals even if they aren't really common...