having difficulties

[Caterina]

How do you get over someone? I am so lonely. I am a very shy person so I don't date much. Its hard for me to meet new people because every time I do, I start to think and it makes me very nervous and it gets to the point that I can't even talk to the person anymore. The only people I have ever dated were very aggressive. I have had friends that were male, but it took a long time for them to become friends with me...and I usually wasn't interested in getting involved...they were good friends but wouldn't make good lovers. Well, it happened that I was involved with a friend. He acted like he liked me and then I guess he changed his mind. I still talk to him and he still acts like he cares, but there is no hope for me and my heart is broken. I try to cut off contact with him so that its easier but that doesn't help much. I don't know what to do...how do you get over someone? I hate this. I think that if I dated others, I'd be able to, but I can't because of my shyness preventor thing. C

[Jim09]

From my own experiences and seeing the breakups that my friends have gone through, I honestly think that the only way you can get through someone is with time. Just take some time to yourself and take some time to realize what you really want. And most likely, before you know it, you will have completely forgotten him.

[acuraman]

I agree with Jim09 on time. Time has helped me out alot with my failed relationships. I don't know if you have heard this or not, but time heals all wounds.

 

Try to stay busy because when you are busy, you tend not to think about your ex. Staying busy has helped me deal with my break up 3 weeks ago. Find something that you like doing, such as hanging out with friends, spending time with your family, gym, reading, ect. Give it a try, you never know.

 

As with your shyness, just relax when you are talking to a guy or anyone else. In most cases, Im sure the person your talking to is just as nervous as you are. Don't try too hard, just go with the flow.

[queenofvalidation]

Hi Cat,

 

Getting over a break up is easier if you make a list of all of the other person's bad points. Review the list every time you feel blue. Then go out and enjoy life. If you don't have anybody to go out with, date yourself. Crying is ok. When you cry, you heal. You will be ok. Stay busy, busy, busy. If you can't go out, then stay busy inside. Work out, do your nails, read a good book, create a website, clean out your closet, get a new pet or start a new hobby, take a public speaking class to overcome shyness. Move on. If you can't move on, pretend to move on. Most of all, be your own best friend and do everything you can to improve your quality of life. The most attractive quality a woman can possess is her happiness. Hope this helps.

 

QOV

[Caterina]

Thanks much for the advice.