Could really do with some advice

[Andrew_]

ok, i'm not too sure where best to start but i'll try and be as informative as possible.

 

I've been feeling low for i'd say about 2 years (maybe just over) i cant pin-point exactly when it started but i think it was about then. Over these two years i've been getting slowly worse and worse and have knowone to talk to about it. The problem seems to be with me everyday now whereas before it would be maybe 2 days of feeling bad and then the rest would be fine, i could handle that. But atm i feel like i've knowhere to turn, everyday i try and stay in bed as long as possible so i dont have to face anyone and going to work is a nightmare. I feel scared to even get on the bus and then i have to sit at a computer with 200+ people around me, all of which seem happy and they're laughing and joking and there's me sitting there just looking well, angry. But i'm not angry, well i am angry but not with them and thats what they're thinking. I'm just sad and really dont like myself.

 

I know i'm depressed, i dont need a dr. to tell me that but i also get feelings of paranoia because i'm depressed. I worry that people are looking at the 'moody guy in the corner' which of course they are. It must also be really weird for my colleagues because one day i'll feel really good and i'll get along with everyone and smile and so on and then the next (and i cant help it) i cant even make eye contact with them. What must they be thinking?

 

I used to take drugs, but so did all my friends and they're not suffering like me so i dont think its because i used to smoke (we all stopped about 18 months ago).

 

What can i do? When i think it through it all seems so irrational, but for some reason i cant shake it. Whatever i do, whatever i tell myself it just wont go away. I really need sme advice here guys because i cant take much more.

[charmed]

what drugs did you do - and you used to smoke what?

 

You sound fine in your post to me - what is getting you down - the self created illusion that there is a problem. You need to get some direction and a passion in life - like sports or music or whateve your thing is or could be. Don't sit in the hole, get out and look around !!!

 

You can start today by putting energy into being positive. Talk to yourself positively - out loud - it's very silly, but it does work. The sound of your own voice has a strange and wonderfull effect.

 

Start Now !!

 

Al.

[GoDevil]

dude i am exactly the same as you and i started on medication about 9 months ago, saved my life i think. You might have a chemical imbalance in your brain that causes you to always be down. You really should get on some antidepressants or SSRI's (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors). Stay away from excessive weed/alcohol as you will just crash harder and lower when their effects wear off... TRUST ME. I did the same thing for a long time.

 

After I started taking Lexapro, I noticed a general minimization of my negative thoughts and frequency of unprovoked anxiety. You can be at ease and happy, but first you have to make an appointment!

Good luck!

[eblue]

Same thing here. Seriously. What you described is exactly what I dealt with for a while. It got so bad that I would take sleeping pills to stay in bed and would take so many I actually slept two days straight. I use to drink so much too. I just didn't care anymore. I couldn't deal with social situations and I couldn't deal with being by myself. I tried to kill myself several times because I just felt so helpless. My only suggestion to you is.....go to a doctor and get some meds. I know it is hard, but they seriously help. I am not kidding. I noticed like in two weeks my negative thoughts were cut down. My anxiety went down. Panic attacks were cut to none. Now I can't even imagine doing half of the things I use to like cutting and crying and wasting my days in my dark room sleeping and the feeling of paranoia. I take paxil. Apparently what i have runs in my family. My dad is on zoloft and my grandfather was on prozac. Maybe it runs in your family too....just I suggest go to a doc and get some meds for it before it gets worse like mine did...

[Andrew_]

you guys are so right, i've thinking about seeing the doctor to get some help bu i just keep putting it off. Maybe i'm waiting for someone else to notice and do it for me. I always feel tho that i'll get over it with time, but its been two years and i certainly dont want it to go on any longer. I'm also worried about any longterm effects persistent depression could cause, do you guys have any reliable info about this?

 

The drugs, well, it was just a lot of weed smoking starting when i was about 15/16, then i first took E when i was around 18/19, the smoking after that was very different, then i had a really bad night (the time i mentioned in my first post.. about 2ish yrs ago) adn after that i started feeling really down. I've not smoked weed on a regular basis since then and not done any other drugs, other than the odd w/end beer. I've not found solice in drugs or alcohol since and i actually feel better when i'm not taking anything and just sleeping well. I find reading helps me a lot too.

 

Its funny what you say about the family connection because my aunty was diagnosed scizophrenic about 15 yrs ago when she was 25, and my mum always reminded me of this, the dangers of me and my brother taking drugs with this in the famil and so. I didn't listen because at first (well until that fateful day) i was not effected by it... i guess i just pushed it too far in the end.

 

Its good to here from others that have been i the same situation.

[51cards]

I really understand. I know the felling that every one is looking at you like you are an idiot. You get depressed, you react to the depresstion, then you start to panic about what everyone is thinking. I was like that till one of my panic attackes got so bad that I could not swollow and ended up in the ER. They gave me some anti-anxicty pills which have helped wonders. I no longer worry about what others are thinking about me. My depresstion is still here but now I can deal with it. I never wanted to go to the doctors, I thought they would look at me negitively, but once I went and got the meds I felt alot better.