Mickeysant Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Met this woman on from yahoo personals last Friday. We seemed to hit it off. She even told me I am a good catch. Bought her dinner this past Wednesday and everything seemed to be going in the right direction. When we left the restaurant I asked her what her plans were for the weekend. She made it sound like she was going to meet someone else. When I told her I wanted to spend a whole day with her she said that she would cancel her plans and clear her calendar. Now I call her last night on her cell phone and had to leave a message to call me back and she hasn't. Is she giving me the run around or is she meeting other guys? I am beginning to think that all that she said to me was just B.S. What do you guys think? Link to comment
Beec Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 I think you might have pushed her too hard too soon. You seem to have been in a rush. Initial contact over the net, to dinner to all day together in one week, that's really fast. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 I think it's too soon after first meeting her to expect her to totally rule other men out of her life. She seems to just want to date right now- and not form a strong commitment yet. It might scare her off. She might need to get to know you better before she makes a decision to drop everything. I am beginning to think that all that she said to me was just B.S. Well she did tell you the truth about her weekend plans. However, if she then made plans with you, and later decided to blow you off- then that would be rude.... Don't contact her again,. Wait for her call and see what she has to say. BellaDonna Link to comment
Mickeysant Posted September 23, 2005 Author Share Posted September 23, 2005 We did talk on the phone once before we met. And after we met I am thinking that maybe she thought I wasn't interested,but I was and told her I would like to see her again. That when I asked her to have dinner with me. I don't think I rushed her into anything. Anyway,why wait? If I did wait too long to ask her out maybe someone else would have her. So you do have to act quick. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 I think acting quickly is good. If a guy doesn't ask me out within 5 or so e-mails, I just stop replying. I've found that men who are seriously interested in meeting you ask you out within the first few e-mails. More than that, then I would say that they are looking for a pen-pal, not a date. But, yes, you have to remember that she's meeting other men also. It's only been 24 hours that she hasn't returned your call. Don't worry! Maybe if you don't hear from her by next week, call her and ask how she's been doing and that you'd like to see her again. If she doesn't seem enthusiastic, don't worry. Plenty more fish in the sea. Link to comment
jevonj77 Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 What I see is this...being that it was the first time you meet in person, you have to always be aware of the fact that she may not have thought you were what she was looking for. Even if she did not say that... I say always leave the door open for if she decides that she doesn't like you. Just expect that it could be a possiblity. This way you are not going to feel bad at all. If she doesn't call you in a another day...you most likely got the idea...Some find it hard to reject someone-maybe because they don't think you are bad looking or anything, but just are not into you. So who knows...and don't worry about it. Play your cards wisely and slowly. Also, be cool about the whole situation. The reason is that you are dating and nothing is serious yet. Like you did, I know that she was maybe looking into more than one guy at the same time. People date and then decide...not the other way around...so she most likely has to date the other ones too...it is not cheating or any of that until you two get serious... Link to comment
Beec Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 How quick you went from first contact to first date is not a problem. How qucik you went from first date to "I want to spend all Saturday with you", well that could be too fast. And, you seem desparate if you move real fast. Don't be in a rush. Link to comment
Mickeysant Posted September 23, 2005 Author Share Posted September 23, 2005 I'm not in a rush,but she made it sound like she was going to meet other guys and I didn't want to wait too long to call her for a date again. You know,"He who hesitates is lost". I live by that. How long are you supposed to wait before you spend the whole day with someone? Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Why are you so focused on spending the entire day together? I dunno... I would say first date, drinks, second date, dinner/movie, third date, maybe also dinner, drinks. Maybe a 4th or 5th may be a day event. The entire day's a pretty long time to spend with one person. I usually can't do that because I work most days of the week. Maybe she'll be more receptive if you just ask her out to dinner. good luck Link to comment
chai714 Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 I'm not in a rush,but she made it sound like she was going to meet other guys and I didn't want to wait too long to call her for a date again. You know,"He who hesitates is lost". I live by that. How long are you supposed to wait before you spend the whole day with someone? Mickey, The dating world is full of sharks (competition). If you're going to swim with the sharks, you might as well be the smartest one out there. The dating world has no rules - she can date 2 men in 2 nights, or even 2 men in the same 24 hour period - it's not your call to say whether she can or can not. Because she told you that you were a good catch, means she had fun with you. Also, remember that we tend to go for those who are independent, somewhat aloof, but who also fulfill their emotional needs. Another basic principle is that people want what they can't have. She's partially enacting this principle on you, because you feel like she may be seeing another man and this makes you go crazy (not literally, but you get the point). Also, we tend to go for those who give us a good deal. Your asking too much, too soon. You can't be this available this early on in the game - play one card at at time - there's no rush. Lastly, there's a difference between hesitation and patience. Hesitation means not making a move at the right time. Patience means waiting for the right time to make a move. Remember, you're in a game so learn some tactics and you'll win more. Good luck. Link to comment
Bethany Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Seems to me that it was just a hot cyber thing that happened and your thinking about her too much. Get out and live your life, if she wants you she will get back to you. Dont worry so much about someone you dont know. She could be married, engaged or seeing someone else or just not interested anymore. Ive been there several times and altho its great at the time and you really do mean it at the time, when you get off line you forget all about them,surely you've done the same thing with other women? Cant be helped its just the way it is. Link to comment
Mickeysant Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 Just to give you guys an update....We spent all day Saturday together,went to a museum,had dinner and we both brought along our cameras. She asked 2 people to take a picture of us together. When the time came for us to go our separate ways,we kissed a few times. I asked to see her again and she said Of course! Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Woohoo! Sounds great! Hope it keeps going well! Link to comment
Bethany Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 Awwwwwwww and there was me trying to prepare you for the worst. It's nice to see things work out for a change. Good Luck for the future to you both. Link to comment
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