im desperate for help,plz if there is anyone out there!

[simon87]

hi,i just registered to this site becoz of a huuuuge problem i need help with!

 

well my gf and i have been together for 8 months and its a long distance relationship but we have met over 3 times for bout 2 weeks each time and its perfect and i am sooooo happy but.....

 

for the last month i have been basically obsessed with other girls particularly one girl in my class at college,she and others just dominate my mind like a black cloud and its ruining my relationship with laura to a huge halt! i dont want anyone else! i love laura and i just want these thoughts and things to leave my head. the thoughts i have were always wondering what it would be like to be with them but then i would have these girls stuck in my head for days and now weeks and its now got to the point where i am desperate for help! i just need some help to help me get rid of all of these thoughts,its really making me exhausted inside especially about this one girl who knows all about this as i told her and everything we cleared it all up but she is still in my head and i want her out.i love laura soooooooooo much i dont ever want to let her go she is perfect for me and i just need help sooooo much in getting rid of this girl and other girls from my head! plz plz plz help i beg you! thankyou

[RayKay]

Hmm, well part of the problem might be you are having normal desires for someone to be close to you, since your gf is far away. That's one of the problems with LDRs - you miss out on the daily companionship.

 

The more important thing is not to act on them while with her.

 

If you are having this many thoughts though, I don't know, maybe an LDR is not for you - I assume you are very young, and being tied to someone far away in a LDR which requires a tremendous amount of effort is very tough.

[simon87]

well i have lasted this long which is 8 months and i dont want to lose her which is why im on here writing this,i love her with all my heart,btw im not young im an adult of 18 thankyou.im gong to be driving in 5 months time and so i will see a hell of alot more of her which i cant wait for and im gonna see her next month too.i just need advice on forgetting other girls and everything.

[Jonboy582]

Well I know both counterparts of this relationship in person (as I referred him to this site). But also I know that they truly love each other and would it be right for them to end. He is currently learning to drive and well although it may be quite afew months yet till he passes after then they can see each other very ften. Have you got any suggestions on what they can do in this period.

[RayKay]

Well, I mean I don't imagine there is anything more they can do they aren't already - I was not saying he was not responsible or anything, I was just saying he needs to determine whether he is ready for this relationship or not. I mean being obsessed with someone outside your relationship is not normal if you are in love with someone, right?

 

Even when they are in the same place, that does not mean he won't have opportunity to LOOK at others - if you are that focused on looking at others and wanting to be with them, it might be an indicator that something is not entirely alright or satisfying in relationship - in this case it might be the distance, so as I said before if he wants to be with her he has to stay strong and just wait it out. He is young (to me 18 is young) so he still needs to build his relationship skills up and learn that looking at others will happen, and how to avoid temptation. I can't really tell him how to stop obsessing over others, he needs to turn more to his girlfriend and build his love and passion up with her.

[Jonboy582]

nice post, and sorry if I canme over abit harsh b4 I did not mean to, and yer was just stressing me out. I tried everything to fix their relationship consulting both parties for about 2 weeks now. I think I finally achieved it, but for now he does have to tell his g/f a while lie. Or not really a lie just dont tell her certain things, which have been hurting her (basicaly saying to her that he been having thoughts about other girls).