Cheeting On my boyfriend

[Stevie187]

I have been with my boyfired for over 4 years I am so over our realtionship but every time I make a move to leave, he makes it almost impossible for me to go like he says how much he loves me and starts saying that he cant live without me yada yada. I am currently seeing someone who I meet on the bus about 4 months ago on my way to work, he is a wonderful guy and I really want to be with him. I dont love him (Aiden), but I care for him alot, we speak and send emails everyday, nothing has happen between us a part from talking Im too scared to make a move as I dont want to feel to guilty for what I am doing. Am I making a mistake??? and how can I get rid of Evan, considering I live with him, and would find it too hard to live by myself and Evan picked me up when no one was there to help..........

 

I have lost most of my friends because of Evan and I want to be happy again. Hes boring and we never go and do stuff, I need excitement in my life, someone pls help.

[segagirl]

stand in the mirror, take a long hard look at yourself, then make a choice.

If you want to leave, be stong enough and do it. Regardless of what you're boyfriend says, you have a right to be happy....as does he.

I assure you, in the long run, he has no desire to stay with someone who is with him for reason of guilt only.

[activelife81]

communication, communication, communication! TALK TO HIM. tell him how you feel (maybe in kinder words than "you've made my life boring") but tell him that the spark is dying and that u need excitement, you miss doing things with him and going out places and you're disappointed in how hum-drum your life has become lately. tell him your relationship is at risk, and you need passion in your life again. Ask him how he feels about what you tell him, and if he feels the same way then talk about hwo you can improve it and strengthen the restore the spark. If he doesnt know what you're talking about and disagrees, then tell him exactly what u need in your life and tell him you're gonna have to find it elsewhere then. Just give him plenty of chances to agree with you...sometimes guys play dumb when they really agree....in order to get you to talk more and explain better. So explain and be as accurate and straightforward as you can possibly be.

[Stevie187]

Thankyou for your reply just what I needed to hear, but Im not sure if I want to make things work ***so confused****

[SwingFox]

Hello Stevie,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am sorry to hear that you are so confused. I understand that you have been in a relationship with a guy for four years and that you feel bored in it as it is now.

 

I am not sure if leaving your boyfriend is the solution here. I have to tell you that I have come accross so many messages on here in which people explain how sorry they are for leaving their partner even after so long. They explain how much they want to get back together.

 

The truth is that a relationship needs constant work. Love is a dynamic thing. My parents have been married for over 30 years. Do you really think they still love each other like they did when they just started seeing each other? It works pretty much the same way in your relationship. It doesn't look like that you're unhappy because your b/f is treating you so bad. All I read is that you are bored in your relationship.

 

My suggestion is thereforeeeeee very simple: I would advice you to wait making a move on this new guy. I fear that this new guy is very interesting to you, because everything is so new. Could it be possible that the grass is greener on the other side? Be careful with that. Communicate to your current boyfriend and explain him your current feelings. Tell him that you do love him very much, but that you feel a little stuck in your relationship. Explain him your needs and what you miss at the moment. Spice up your current relationship. It might or might not worked out, but I believe you will feel more confident when breaking up with your current b/f, knowing that you gave him a very fair chance and knowing that you have tried everything you possibly could.

 

I hope that this helped you on your way and I wish you good luck, making the right decisions that work for you.

 

~ SwingFox ~